My Mother is 95 with Dementia. I moved her into my home a month ago. She's never been very good at getting enough to drink, and the last 2 days she's more or less just refusing to drink anything. I gave her Jello at breakfast & she did eat most of that. She really has no sense of taste other than being able to taste sweet, salty, sour & bitter. I've tried numerous combinations of juices, broth & water, hot & cold. She will eat canned fruit & soups. She wasn't interested in popsicles. With most everything she just says she doesn't like it or says "it's too sweet". So, I'm at a loss as to how to get enough fluids down her. There won't be any more trips to ER for hydration. Any suggestions? I do have Hospice coming next week to do an assessment so we can started with services, but in the meantime, I thought I'd explore this forum for answers. Thanks!
As a nurse I can tell you that there is honestly no way to force hydration on her other than putting in a gastrostomy tube surgically, which she would more than likely pull out. Moreover, fluids are not always a friend. While you don't want dehydration, the forcing of fluids onto an elder can lead to choking and fluids entering the lung, causing pneumonia, and too much fluid cannot be processed by the failing heart, lungs, kidneys of an elder. Congestive Heart Failure, swelling of ankles, legs and abdomen can result from a weakened right heart and fluid in lungs with left heart failure.
Your Mother is now 95. Is it not OK to let her be the arbiter of how much fluid or food she takes?
Have you considered palliative care, hospice, or spoken to anyone about end of life decisions? Have you gotten any help with any therapy of any kind (should you want to do this work on grief and loss, a licensed social worker skilled in life change issues is likely even better than a psychologist.
As I said, you have clearly tried everything I think anyone could, to no avail. It may be time to explore, consider, approach what work needs to be done to face the end of a life, the loss and grief.
I am so sorry, and I hope you will find some peace in this. Your Mom is so lucky to have a clearly caring and loving daughter with her now. Enjoy the time you have left with your dear Mom, sharing things that will make her happy, peaceful, comfortable and stress free rather than forcing upon her things that make the end more torturous for her.
What about tea, does she like any sort of tea? It is a mild diuretic, but very mild and it still counts towards your fluid intake.
Cucumber sticks? Or does she like any salad vegetables that she could crunch on as snacks, such as peppers and tomatoes? You'd have to make sure that her swallow reflex is fine, mind.
Don't focus solely on drinking.
Ice cream, sherbet, pudding, custards, fruit, puree real fruit rather than going with juice, she will get more fiber from the pureed fruit and it would be less sweet than most juices. Soup is another great way to get fluids in. Oatmeal, cream of wheat, cream of rice.
If she does think it is too sweet for her then dilute with a bit of water.
Does she drink tea?, coffee?
Focus on what the color of her urine is.
If it is very dark then she needs to have more fluids, the lighter in color it is the more hydrated she is.
Depending on her level of activity she may not need as much fluids as you think she would.
This is a great question to pose to Hospice as well, they may have some great suggestions.
Taste buds change. For some swallowing issues are an issue too. Dental and periodontal issues as well. It’s hard to get old.
How was your first day with hospice?
Are you doing okay? It's a big step and brings a lot of reality to the situation.
Hugs!