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Not sure if I kept my sanity. One person on this site found out she had a really good singing voice. She'd play the car stereo really loud and scream singing on the way home. I believe she became a lead singer in z band.
I lost a couple of friends by crying and complaining too much at them, so, that's not good.,
I recently discovered pickleball. It makes me laugh, and get this extra energy out.. just a couple hours a week..
If you have someone to take over for a long minute a couple days a week.
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Reply to MAYDAY
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You keep your "sanity" by making sure that you're also taking care of yourself and not just your loved one, as you matter too in this equation.
That may look like just taking a walk around the neighborhood while your loved one is sleeping, going to lunch with friends while you hire a sitter for your loved one, or even going to church while someone else stays with your loved one so you can rejuvenate your soul.
There is no question that caregiving is the hardest job there is BY FAR, so it just reiterates the fact that caregivers MUST find simple things along the way that bring them joy.
So get out there and find some joy! It's not too late.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Sanity is so over rated....🤣
Ok, so I survived with humor
I also got help. I had caregivers that came in to help out. Some were nightmares, others true angels
I got Hospice involved as soon as I could. The help and support that I got from the Team was immeasurable.
I used 1 of the days the caregivers were there to Volunteer for the Hospice. I did office work. (typically Hospice will not take a Volunteer that has a LO on service but I talked them into it...15 years later I still Volunteer and do so 2 or more days a week)
2 things that caregivers need to do...and they are both difficult.
1. Ask for help
2 Accept help.
When someone says "if there is anything I can do let me know" say to them ...Ya know Sue I need to get a few things from the store, if you could pick up a dozen eggs, a gallon of milk for me that would be great. If you can do that Tuesday I can make that coffeecake you like and we can sit and chat.
or
George, I know it has been a while since you and Bob have talked, I have to run to the store could you come by and sit with Bob for an hour or so? He will doze off so bring a book with you.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Beethoven13 21 hours ago
Yes. I asked the friends from high school who kept offering to help, okay, please bring a meal for Christmas Eve. Anything you want, casserole whatever. She and her husband delivered homemade tamales and chili and a delicious salad from her garden. I thanked them sincerely. My mother was pleasant and said thank you. My father was still alive then, on hospice in the hospital bed in the living room, caregivers coming and going.my life was overwhelming and mostly I felt unseen. My friends were very generous and kind. I thanked them and that meal they brought helped me and I felt less alone. My friends left for a 3 week vacation to Australia and New Zealand just after Christmas. I was happy for them, followed their adventure on FB, I’ve been to those places myself. It’s a sad feeling being trapped by elderly parents into caregiving. They have money but made no arrangements other than me. Adult only child. My mother has been difficult and obstructed my independence my whole life, my father let her because she was hell raging when she got mad and made our lives hard. Dad died and I truly mourn him. He was the enabler and should have stepped up to protect me but he chose to keep the peace. He cared for me, made lunches, drove me to school, got me up and dressed, picked up when sick, drove the carpool, paid for all my education. My mother was competitive and interfered with my dating life and made sure she stayed first. My father died 2 years ago. I’m breaking free from my emotionally immature and covert narcissistic mother. I lived 1000 miles away for over 20 years. I am doing the work to disentangle myself and get them out of me. It’s hard work. I went on a day trip to a spa about 1 hour away last weekend. I told no one because I can’t, my mother will sabotage it. I was having a nice relaxing time. My mother texted a link to a local emergency room. No other message. My body reacted but I used my brain to not react. She or someone was trying to ruin my day away at a spa. I didn’t respond and continued my day. I checked later when I got back, she was fine. Old narcissist and flying monkeys will try to keep you stuck.
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Reply to Beedevil66
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I was too serious. My daughter, RN, told me I had to laugh more. Better laugh than cry.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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If you provide more information about the particular difficulties that are being a problem, you might get some useful answers?
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