Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Who REFUSED to unpack the baggage in therapy? And what was the point in spending all that money in the first place, then? Kinda like signing up for a diet club and bringing Dove bars for everybody at the meeting 😑
I would answer, based on your profile info, move out of your parents home immediately and on with your own life now. At 42, you're certainly entitled to have your own life!!
About Me 42 years old; never married, no children. Living with both retired parents. History of developmental abuse, rage and codependency and enmeshment. Both parents have undiagnosed and untreated personality disorders. Looking for emotional support.
I'm not sure how much you can expect out of therapy for two elders with this many issues! Some things you just can't fix and have to detach from.
Very wise. And I could use this advice myself right now. Which way is best for anyone in a difficult dysfunctional situation? I think we can only answer that ourselves, and resentment clouds judgment.
I have to agree. You need to move out for one thing. You can't live with the people who abused you.
I do think before you can move forward you need to deal with the past. Not dwell on it just deal. Deal by realizing your parents cannot be what you expect them to be, which is loving parents. They literally don't know how to love. They probably feed off of each other. That trying to get them to love or appreciate you now is fruitless. So now you move forward by distancing yourself and realizing that you can't fix them and you owe them nothing. You set boundaries for you. They will try to cross over but you stand firm. But, to go forward, you can't live with them.
HI Tracey - if I am understanding your question, it sounds like your therapist refuses to work with you on the emotional issues, such as codependency, abuse and enmeshment - is that correct? If that is the case, then I think you should seek out a new therapist.
These are important issues that you addressed, and in order to try to work towards effective healing, you deserve to have a better therapist who can provide better support and guidance.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I would answer, based on your profile info, move out of your parents home immediately and on with your own life now. At 42, you're certainly entitled to have your own life!!
About Me
42 years old; never married, no children. Living with both retired parents. History of developmental abuse, rage and codependency and enmeshment. Both parents have undiagnosed and untreated personality disorders. Looking for emotional support.
I'm not sure how much you can expect out of therapy for two elders with this many issues! Some things you just can't fix and have to detach from.
Best of luck to you.
When all at sea, you can stay put or swim.
Diving down into the deep issues for understanding is worthy, but may take a long time. Swimming in a direction will get you somewhere else at least.
What's your priority?
The only way around this is to go to therapy YOURSELF to unpack and remediate the damage.
AND move out.
I do think before you can move forward you need to deal with the past. Not dwell on it just deal. Deal by realizing your parents cannot be what you expect them to be, which is loving parents. They literally don't know how to love. They probably feed off of each other. That trying to get them to love or appreciate you now is fruitless. So now you move forward by distancing yourself and realizing that you can't fix them and you owe them nothing. You set boundaries for you. They will try to cross over but you stand firm. But, to go forward, you can't live with them.
Look up the word Narcissist.
These are important issues that you addressed, and in order to try to work towards effective healing, you deserve to have a better therapist who can provide better support and guidance.
Check their credentials. Use a licensed professional.
Best wishes to you.