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Father in law has vascular dementia. He has been bedridden for 2 weeks. Hospice says he is dying. My husband doesn't think so, he just believes he's declined and will stay this way for a while. Have any experience this?
No water at all and 1/2 cup of food (which will have a nominal amount of water in it)….a few weeks at most. Possibly not even that.
Is he in active Hospice? They can guide you in the process.
I'm sorry you DH is not accepting this. See that a Hospice worker sits down with him and explain the dying process. My own DH didn't believe his own father was dying and, when he did, in fact, pass away DH and his sis were chatting away, oblivious to the fact dad had just died. It was such a shock even though the doctor has told us, 20 minutes before he died, that he was not going to rally, he was in fact, actively dying.
He’s in denial. Why else wouldn’t he believe professionals from hospice? I’m sorry for all that you are going through. It’s hard.
People who are dying are not hungry or thirsty. Encourage him to accept that his loved one is preparing to die and is no longer desiring food or water.
Usually if they aren't drinking they aren't eating either. Does he act like he wants food or is someone forcing it. Because, when the body is shutting down the body no longer digests the food. So the food goes nowhere. This is not a good thing.
My relative lasted SIX WEEKS without eating, and only taking a few small sips a day! She had a living will which clearly stated her wishes for no feeding tube, etc.
I don't have to tell you how she looked when she did die.
People can last a VERY long time on minimal amounts of food; it is down then to starvations slowly and slow shutdown of all systems which can be quite painful. I am glad you have hospice to provide comfort care. There is fluid in food, esp. food prepared so that an elder in this condition can eat it. Even tiny amounts of fluid will prolong things a month or more. The withdrawal of ALL FOOD and FLUID will mean likely a bit more than a week, dependent on condition to begin with. This all requires careful management because at the point organs shut down there can be some confusion and agitation. Does your FIL WANT to eat, or is this food being pushed? Because if he wants to eat he should be allow to eat what and when he likes. If he doesn't want to eat, at this point it is a disservice to force food. Wishing you good luck. Sorry and know this is very hard.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Is he in active Hospice? They can guide you in the process.
I'm sorry you DH is not accepting this. See that a Hospice worker sits down with him and explain the dying process. My own DH didn't believe his own father was dying and, when he did, in fact, pass away DH and his sis were chatting away, oblivious to the fact dad had just died. It was such a shock even though the doctor has told us, 20 minutes before he died, that he was not going to rally, he was in fact, actively dying.
People who are dying are not hungry or thirsty. Encourage him to accept that his loved one is preparing to die and is no longer desiring food or water.
Take care and hugs.
My Mom lasted 2 weeks without food and water.
I don't have to tell you how she looked when she did die.
Found this
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320794.php