Money is a big problem here. Their income is too much to qualify for assistance and yet they don't have enough money to pay out of pocket. My niece is the primary care giver for my sister (88 with dementia) and her husband (92 and just old). Many meds have been tried to help sedate my sis but they don't work for one reason or another. They try to keep her awake during the day as much as possible. Herbal meds do not work. She either chants or screams for hours. My concern is for my niece and my BIL. With neither one of them getting decent sleep, I'm worried that one or both will wind up ill or....... Suggestions please.
All night long. Drove me crazy!
One thing that helped me was a medication, Trazodone. It is very safe and it knocked him out, when no other drugs would.
Another thing that helped me was moving out of our tiny one bedroom apartment into a larger house. I now sleep in the spare bedroom. He still has nights that he can't sleep and moans, groans and yells for help all night long.
I simply can't get far enough away to not be bothered by it.
For the most part, he is on a regular sleeping schedule, with the help of Trazodone and now Depakote, which I give 30 min to an hour before bedtime.
Keeping a consistent routine is very helpful. Not overstimulating the person with dementia is also advised. Any change in routine or overstimulation can cause the nighttime agitation.
Does she have a tv, or large computer screen in the bedroom? You can play soothing scenery and music, or really simple animated movies. My husband watched animated movies over and over again, like a young child. That may help to distract her and keep her calmer.
I wish you all well. I know how frustrating this is! It's awful!
If she can qualify for hospice care or a nursing home, that would be best.
If it's their income won't allow this extra expense, try asking family members if they can assume some of the other bills the couple has to pay or contribute to the extra help expense. Maybe someone in the family can afford to help financially even if they won't help physically. Are there any expenses that could be cut off in order to come up with some extra cash? Prioritize all the bills to see if some are luxury while others are necessary.
There should be much concern for the niece and BIL. They will wear out. They may have to work out shifts between the two so that one is sleeping while the other manages care.
I would see an elder law attorney to work on placement that will accept, for the two of them, their income, with Medicaid applied for once income exhausted.
I am so sorry. Sounds as though this just isn't working, and I don't think there is any longer affordable in home care over more than a couple of hours a few times a week, which just won't help you.
I sure do wish you the best of luck.