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malloryg8r: "Mom's assets are hers to decide what to do, and mom is human".

True statement, but the fact of the matter is that mom is also very vulnerable to undue influence by a greedy sibling that is obviously financially exploiting her. So yes, mom's assets are hers and she is human, true, but she can be easily conned and manipulated by a cunning child that has private 24/7 access to her and holds her very life in her hands. Your answer is way too simplistic in my view.
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Everyone is well aware there are ways to exert influence on a senior, and when that happens it is time for authorities to step in, mete out the proper response. However, if a senior is not ALZ or dementia, or otherwise "incapacitated " as accepted by the judgement of The Authorities, then mom is free to do as she wishes with her assets. It is either a case of incapacitated, or not. Not incapacitated....she is free to do what she wishes with her assets. That is simple, and the Law.
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Mom can even leave her millions to her cats if she wishes.
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Mallory, my mother probably will… :(
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Just thought I'd pop in for an update! Regrettably things haven't improved and my relationship with my mom is almost zero at this point, which is very strange given that I am still staying at her house! She's started boxing up all my dad's things to donate (he passed 2.5 months ago) and let my sister take a lot of his personal effects/papers without enquiring if I wanted any of them. I let her know maybe it's a little soon to be getting rid of his things and maybe she could let the boxes sit a while.......naturally she didn't take kindly to it and I got a huge lecture on how she owns everything now, she decides what stays/goes, she never got to keep anything sentimental when her dad died (not sure what that has to do with anything really?) along with some other choice and wholly unpleasant personal insults thrown in. Everything I read says don't make any big decisions and give yourself a few months which is where I was coming from....but she knows best. I feel like the only way I'll get to keep any small items of sentimental value would be to start squirreling them away which is easy as I live here, but would be horribly dishonest. I'll be moving away in the next 2-3 weeks which is just aswell as my sister slithering all over my mom (and mom loving it) is still as upsetting as it was the first day.
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Glasker, maybe you could put a few small items in a box and walk up to mom and just gently announce that you would like to have these few things to remember dad by, and I imagine she could care less, or that she would be relived that there is less for her to sort thru. Also if there were any things you'd given your dad, or made for him, you could point that out "remember I gave this to him for Christmas 2 years ago....." to bolster your sense of fairness. Might not work but might be worth a small try. You can always try.
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Glasker, run not walk away from this. Get a job, find a new home and don't worry. Mom will be calling soon enough when things get bad and she needs someone to take care of her and sis is no where to be seen. I know, I have been in a similar situation for years. Now mom is very ill. I just spent a month with her. Found out she had placed my brother on all of her accounts as joint owner with rights of survivorship. Me on nothing. Brother had a "come to Jesus" meeting with her and told her he was giving me half. I smiled. Spent the month with her. She is still the same old cranky jerk she always was. Not going back until it is all over.

Some parents are parents in name only. Take care of yourself.
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