OMG where do i start?! this evil b*tch has done everything she could to make me hate her Fing guts! when my husband and i first got married my in-laws moved into my house after only a week of our wedding, from the star she started talking about how i keep my house, and went as far as to call me a b**ch and told my husband lets kick her out! to my surprise he went along with her for a minute and it was beyond me! that was week one! as the marriage went on, she called me names and talked sh** to my new family about me! during the forth year of my marriage she told my husband to leave me, and one day he was just gone! she lied about where he was and told me, if i wanted to move in with her to save my marriage, i needed to seek mental help because i was depressed over my spouse leaving. I checked myself into a mental health place to see if i was crazy or something, and later moved to new york with her and my husband. She gave me h*ll!!!! from calling me bs and hoes and turning my husband against me, to accusing me of killing a fish!!!! My father-in-law just went along with all she put me through, because she's always right! She pushed me one day in her house, yelled at me and told me i needed to be locked in a mental facility and if i didn't lock myself away, she would ship me back to seattle! where id be homeless because i gave up everything i had to move there, so i did! was told i wasn't crazy, and sent back home with her. she treated me like sh** till i moved out a year later, the h*ll i went through with her is hard to type. Her thing is she gives me a roof over my head and food to eat so i shouldn't feel upset with the way she treats me. Now we are back in her stupid home and today i mentioned that i didn't want to be a burden and that i would hurry to find a job so i'm not in their hair, she called me negative and started going on about how i treat her son even though i hop if he says hop, wake up at five am to make him breakfast and he always gets dinner, but i put my negative energy on him??? this by the way had nothing to do with me not wanting to be a burden. she cursed me out!!!!!!!!! wtf!!!!!!!!!!! so later i let it go, i was happy and didn't think about what happened, so my husband comes home and she pretends to be fine in my face. my husband goes outside with her and after a minute i follow, she tells me i need privacy to talk to my son!!!!!! i had to sit there for thirsty minute while she sat outside talking crap to my spouse. i was so upset and i had a right to be!!! so all this night i've been angry and i mean fed up angry!!!!!!!! and when she sees i'm angry shes having fun and laughing with my husband and everyone!, so when i was happy she didnt like that so she stirred up more drama and when im upset shes happy!!!!!! i can't stand her!, I clean everyday the bathroom the kitchen the livingroom clean the litter box and sometimes cooks for everyone and its never enough! i keep my makeup in a pouch in a corner behind all of her crap on the bathroom counter, and she says my crap is all over the place? its in a fkn pouch?????????? please help
From what you've written, I'd get out of the house and probably out of the marriage if your husband doesn't support you in all of this - and it sounds like he doesn't.
I agree with blannie. Where is your husband during all of this?
Maybe you can find a way to not let your mother-in-law get you so upset. She probably feeds on your anger and resentment so try not letting her behavior and words bother you. Keeping calm and not letting her upset you will take a lot of practice but it sounds like she loves getting your goat and she gets a great pay-off when you get upset. I'm sure she loves it when you're upset.
You can't change her behavior but you can change how you react to her.
Get a job, if only to get away from her during the day and recover your sense of independence. It really is good therapy.
Mothers in law and daughters in law should NEVER live together. Once you have a paycheck, put money away towards that goal.
Your husband wallows in the praise lavished on him by his mother, which is perfectly natural. Your job as a wife is to make him feel like more of a man than she does. Yup, it's a competition and you have a certain advantage, being his wife.
Boundaries Book By: Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend It will help you, as it SO MUCH helped me, to see that you need to learn how to set boundaries with all people that are healthy and are good for you. You will learn that the dynamics going on now are not healthy for you or them. IF you want to stay in your marriage, you both may need marriage counseling or your husband may need to be willing to read the book too. My suggestion is that if you are staying there, as others have said, your salvation will be to get a job and keep some for you and contribute some to the household....but do it in conjunction with setting some new boundaries as this book would describe for you. If you decide you are leaving, you need to learn about boundaries before you get into another relationship, so that you enter a new one as a stronger woman! And another option may be that you and your husband join together....and move into your own place, away from the in laws. Go to them to help, but do not live with them. Marriage generally comes with the expectation that one's spouse now comes before the parents. The married couple becomes the team that no one else can infiltrate. Get the book, it's in paperback and all over Amazon. There is even one aimed at setting boundaries with elderly parents, but this one is aimed in general at just all the people you co exist with....it's like the beginners guide to it all. I wish you lots of insight!