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What can I give him to do so he feels he is helping out? My husband and I are planning to move to FL the first of Feb. He has a very bad right shoulder, rotator cuff non repairable except for total reversal which we have decided he cannot tolerate the surgery for many reasons. So basically he is a one armed man now so what can I have him do ? He cries because he says he is so sorry for being so useless. Makes me sad. Help?

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Moving is very hard on dementia patients. Did his doctor OK the move? Have you found new MD's and new healthcare coverage for Florida?
Make him feel in charge, have him make lists and pretend that all the decisions are his good ideas.
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Yes, his doctors said he is good to move while his meds are working and he does very well for himself and he has always wanted to live in FL. I have healthcare numbers to call when I get there and insurance numbers to call before I leave. I will start Medicare and my husband has to change from Humana to something else. I have heard that Fl has some wonderful plans for us but that may just be hype. Pad and pen ready for him and I am going to have him "sort"and purge all his "man stuff" little stuff that can fit in one tote. Any other ideas ?? These were great .
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I live in FL. I am not sure where you are moving from, but the doctors in New England and the West Coast in general are better than the doctors in FL. It takes a long time to get an appt. in FL during the winter because there are so many people here. It is always hot even in JAN -- I am running AC now. Change from Humana to something else is not good enough. Humana operates in FL and is a pretty good company. I have it through Obamacare. I am a caretaker in FL for my mother with dementia and if you decide to go through with the move, I can help you with FL legal issues.
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I know I can't be the only one with a junk drawer in the kitchen. Maybe your husband can empty out the junk drawer and put the junk into a small bag.

Give your husband a small box to put his toiletries in.

I think there are a lot of things your husband can do to feel a part of this experience and to feel as if he's helping. I think it's very kind of you to think about his needs in the middle of a stressful situation. He's lucky to have you.
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Thank you Eyerishlass......
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