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His daughter has custody of the person and would need to have her permission,Isuppose, unless we can have the court help us. Want my husband home as soon as possible, he has scratches on his arms sometimes and other marks.
Old skin is very fragile. The nursing home may be using a laundry detergent that is making him itch. Or his scratching could be a tick/nervous habit. Why is your husband in the nursing home? How often do you visit him? What support services do you have at home? What are your own health issues that would make it difficult for you to care for him at home? Wanting your husband home is understandable but having him function at home may not be realistic.
If the interested party does not show up at the hearing, the hearing simply proceeds without them. The judge appoints a court evaluator and a GAL (guardian ad litem) who is the ward's attorney for the proceeding. The evaluator interviews the ward and reports back to the judge that the ward does need a guardian OR does not need a guardian. The GAL defends the ward at the hearings. The wife has her own separate attorney to defend her rights. No way can this go down without the wife knowing about it.
It sounds as if your concern is related to nursing home care. Yes? If so, contact the local Area Agency on Aging, first to see if they will visit him. The scratches? My mom with Alzheimer's often scratches herself. I do not know what causes this, maybe just dry skin. Many times the elderly with dementia develop repetitive habits, like scratching that will harm themselves. I would talk to his doctor to see if a med change or adjustment is in order.
Btynar, it is not unusual for someone who is aging to have scratches and bruises. Aging skin becomes thinner. My boss is always having black and blue marks on his hands, arms, and legs just from playing golf, or bumping into furniture in the office, etc.
My Mom had lived in long-term-care, and she also was marked up... but for her she was trying to climb out of bed and got scraped on the mechanics of the bed... or trying to get out of her wheelchair or her geri-recliner.
At this stage of his Alzheimer's/Dementia [per your profile], he would get bruised and scratched living at home, too. Too bad we can't wrap our love ones in bubble wrap.
I've never heard of a court appointing a Guardian without providing written notice to other family members, especially a spouse. The law usually requires that. I'd certainly get a second legal opinion about it. There should be proof of how Notice was provided in the court file.
Plus, I would inquire about filing to revisit the appointment, if the daughter is not doing a good job. You would benefit from having an attorney to help with that. It is quite relevant as to what kind of job she is doing for the Ward. It's not just about how she treats you. It's about how she treats him too. I'd get another legal opinion.
If you are saying that you will leave with your husband, perhaps that's why daughter insist that there be a witness present.
I would not underestimate how much time, energy, and resources that are needed to provide around the clock care for a dementia patient. If you and she have disagreed about your ability to handle it by yourself in your home, perhaps, that's why she has an issue with you. Is that the case?
btyner, I feel there is more to the family dynamics. The fact that you mentioned how many times your husband's daughter was been married is the first clue that you don't care much for her... otherwise it would never been mentioned in print.
Since your husband is living in a nursing home that tells me that he needs a higher level of care than one could give him at home. Will you be hiring around the clock caregivers for his care, as there is no way you could take care of your husband on your own.
And since you are unable to visit your husband as much as you like, how do you know how often his daughter comes to visit him? Just curious. Just trying to get all the pieces of this puzzle together so to help answer you better.
Before the guardian hearing began, all interested parties, including the wife, were served legal papers advising them when the hearing would be. The first hearing is a "show cause" where both sides have to speak their opinion. I am sorry you don't remember that. It was also the judge who ordered supervised visitation. This is to prevent absconding with the patient. My advice is, sign in, ask to visit with him in a common area and try to remain composed. Ask your MD for meds to help stay calm. Your health comes first.
If your daughter was appointed Guardian by the court judge, it is actually decided at the hearing where he will live. You can petition the court to bring him home. The judge will decide if that is a safe option.
Pam, you'll know: hypothetically, if an interested party - e.g. the ward in the case and his second wife - is served papers but fails to read them on the assumption that if the papers are ignored they will go away and therefore makes no attempt to respond... what would happen?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My Mom had lived in long-term-care, and she also was marked up... but for her she was trying to climb out of bed and got scraped on the mechanics of the bed... or trying to get out of her wheelchair or her geri-recliner.
At this stage of his Alzheimer's/Dementia [per your profile], he would get bruised and scratched living at home, too. Too bad we can't wrap our love ones in bubble wrap.
Plus, I would inquire about filing to revisit the appointment, if the daughter is not doing a good job. You would benefit from having an attorney to help with that. It is quite relevant as to what kind of job she is doing for the Ward. It's not just about how she treats you. It's about how she treats him too. I'd get another legal opinion.
If you are saying that you will leave with your husband, perhaps that's why daughter insist that there be a witness present.
I would not underestimate how much time, energy, and resources that are needed to provide around the clock care for a dementia patient. If you and she have disagreed about your ability to handle it by yourself in your home, perhaps, that's why she has an issue with you. Is that the case?
Since your husband is living in a nursing home that tells me that he needs a higher level of care than one could give him at home. Will you be hiring around the clock caregivers for his care, as there is no way you could take care of your husband on your own.
And since you are unable to visit your husband as much as you like, how do you know how often his daughter comes to visit him? Just curious. Just trying to get all the pieces of this puzzle together so to help answer you better.
My advice is, sign in, ask to visit with him in a common area and try to remain composed. Ask your MD for meds to help stay calm. Your health comes first.
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