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Please , for both of your safety and quality of life, contact his PCP immediately; share your observations and seek immediate assistance in an appointment with either his PCP, a geriatric specialist or other physician to further assess your husband's status and " level of care needs" going forward. This is a safety issue for you as well as your husband. Get help immediately. Remember that you can and should call 911 to come transport your husband to the ER at anytime that he is in such a state.
My husband has dementia and he constantly locks all the doors and windows before bedtime but he locks the front door when he sits in the living room, about 5-6 times a day. I have him on Ativan but it really doesn’t help! he also locks the mud room door and talks to himself counting down. I go up to bed and he continues to ask me to help him lay close the doors even after he has locked them a million times and the windows that haven’t been opened
You husband's behavior does sound like dementia or Parkinson's paranoia. You cannot stop this paranoia by reasoning or conversation or shouting. Your resistance will only make him more insistant about his fears.
You may need to consider placement for him if it has become to much for you. A friend of mine is finding placement right now for her husband for exactly what you describe. The husband's behavior has become too much for her to handle.
I am sorry. Meds will help. While it is a safety issue, make sure you can move it yourself in case of emergency; like others have said. However me personally, I would look at it kind of in the frame of mind that at least he obviously wants to stay in the house at night. That is one less worry.
You didn't mention if your husband was diagnosed with any type of Dementia. Has your husband been checked for Lewy Body Dementia?
You may have to make an appointment with a Geriatric Neuro-Psych doctor or a Psychiatrist. Check out all of their credentials on your State Medical Board website.
Perhaps, some anti-anxiety medication would help. It may take a little adjustment period but oftentimes, it's a must, unless you want to be up 24/7.
My Dh has to sedate his mother into sleep every night. She keeps saying she's "not that kind of person' (One who takes any kind of mood altering medications) but her fears come into play as the sun goes down and w/o her Xanax, she becomes completely frantic--and once that is in play, then it's near impossible to get her to calm down.
He says that they start with one pill about 2 hrs before bed, or even sooner if she starts showing signs of agitation. Then the 'whopping' dose is taken when she is put to bed with her CPAP on. She usually, sleeps about 12 hrs with this on board. If she isn't sedated into sleep, she doesn't GO to sleep. Just stays up all night fretting and fussing. Since her kids care for her pretty much 24/7, they have opted to utilize more sedation meds than they'd like, but overall, they have to keep her calm, or they have horrible nights.
Keeping a level of anti anxiety meds in the system, rather than waiting for the 'drama' to start has helped a lot.
Yoiu can't stop the paranoia. To them, what they fear is as real as anything you can see or touch. My MIL is terrified that mice will get into her house. As silly as that sounds, it's a very real fear for her.
She has a RING doorbell and she is actually scared of that, too.
A broken brain's fears is probably not going to be allayed by tactics like pushing a dresser up against the door.
I move a bureau against the front door when I am home alone at Night and its Not being Paranoid . You could get a Video camera that He can watch Like a RING On the front door .
If it is a potential emergency, i.e., someone needs to get in and cannot, then yes, it is an urgent situation that must be addressed. Are you able to move the furniture if needed? Although in case of a fire or something needing immediate attention, it needs to be addressed (due to underlying issues / needs) for safety - of both of you.
Without knowing more, I would encourage exploring assisted living or memory care, depending on needs.
Or
Have a caregiver overnights.
While medication might help ... I believe that you cannot 'stop his paranoia,' you can only address it and take preventative safety measures.
He needs to be drugged at night so he doesn't get up. His doctor can prescribe medication for this.
Also, a new sleeping arrangement might be a good idea. Can he be put into a bedroom where the only furniture is a bed and that bolted to the floor? Then put a lock on the outside of the door so he can't wander?
Or it may be time to start looking into memory care for him. Barricading doors with furniture cannot be allowed.
I would start by talking to his doctor to see if there are any medications that help with paranoia. I'm sure there are. And usually paranoia doesn't last all that long, as he soon will be on to another symptom of this horrific disease called dementia. If things get to be just too much for you, you may have to start looking into placing him in a memory care facility, where you can get back to just being his loving wife and advocate.
It seems like a safety issue if it blocks you getting out and others (EMTs) from getting in. If you can figure out a way to stop it, that would be best.
Talk to his doctor. My mother barricaded herself for maybe 2 years. She dumped her bookcases, boxed the books and pushed the boxes against the doors. She took cardboard and covered half her windows. She had some sense of logic left and I was able to convince her that papers in the closed windows would show they hadn’t been opened. In the midst of the worst, we got her into care, and, interestingly enough, her paranoia didn’t follow her there.
I don't know. I would be pretty concerned for everyone's back here, or some other injury. I can't imagine this being the only way this severe paranoia is manifesting, either. Not that I have an answer, because I surely don't.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
This is a safety issue for you as well as your husband. Get help immediately.
Remember that you can and should call 911 to come transport your husband to the ER at anytime that he is in such a state.
he also locks the mud room door and talks to himself counting down. I go up to bed and he continues to ask me to help him lay close the doors even after he has locked them a million times and the windows that haven’t been opened
You may need to consider placement for him if it has become to much for you. A friend of mine is finding placement right now for her husband for exactly what you describe. The husband's behavior has become too much for her to handle.
You didn't mention if your husband was diagnosed with any type of Dementia.
Has your husband been checked for Lewy Body Dementia?
You may have to make an appointment with a Geriatric Neuro-Psych doctor or a Psychiatrist. Check out all of their credentials on your State Medical Board website.
Perhaps, some anti-anxiety medication would help. It may take a little adjustment period but oftentimes, it's a must, unless you want to be up 24/7.
I hope I was of some help. I will pray for you...
He says that they start with one pill about 2 hrs before bed, or even sooner if she starts showing signs of agitation. Then the 'whopping' dose is taken when she is put to bed with her CPAP on. She usually, sleeps about 12 hrs with this on board. If she isn't sedated into sleep, she doesn't GO to sleep. Just stays up all night fretting and fussing. Since her kids care for her pretty much 24/7, they have opted to utilize more sedation meds than they'd like, but overall, they have to keep her calm, or they have horrible nights.
Keeping a level of anti anxiety meds in the system, rather than waiting for the 'drama' to start has helped a lot.
Yoiu can't stop the paranoia. To them, what they fear is as real as anything you can see or touch. My MIL is terrified that mice will get into her house. As silly as that sounds, it's a very real fear for her.
She has a RING doorbell and she is actually scared of that, too.
A broken brain's fears is probably not going to be allayed by tactics like pushing a dresser up against the door.
Without knowing more, I would encourage exploring assisted living or memory care, depending on needs.
Or
Have a caregiver overnights.
While medication might help ... I believe that you cannot 'stop his paranoia,' you can only address it and take preventative safety measures.
Gena / Touch Matters
Also, a new sleeping arrangement might be a good idea. Can he be put into a bedroom where the only furniture is a bed and that bolted to the floor? Then put a lock on the outside of the door so he can't wander?
Or it may be time to start looking into memory care for him. Barricading doors with furniture cannot be allowed.
And usually paranoia doesn't last all that long, as he soon will be on to another symptom of this horrific disease called dementia.
If things get to be just too much for you, you may have to start looking into placing him in a memory care facility, where you can get back to just being his loving wife and advocate.
I can't imagine this being the only way this severe paranoia is manifesting, either. Not that I have an answer, because I surely don't.