I live in England, and have been trying to care for my abusive older husband for several years. He is due to go into residential care in about 2-3 weeks. We met at church, and have been married for 20 years.
I am disabled and have a daily carer myself, as I am in a wheelchair. I have no family nearby, apart from 2 young grandchildren, as we moved to be near them when my daughter died unexpectedly, a couple of days before my husband’s cancer diagnosis. I have no friends here, either, as we’ve been locked down almost the entire time since we’ve lived here.
I think I may have burnout, but I feel so empty and useless.
Yes I agree with the other respondent. A Church is crucial. I saw many articles and videos on loneliness specifically in England. It's a real problem, never mind if you're sick on that of that.
Every opportunity that has come to me in my lifetime--friends, job opportunities, dates, travel has come from my Church. I would be lost without it. It is never too late. Sounds like you met your husband there too.
My mother is quite ill. Every Sunday since her convalescent a member of Church comes to the apartment and brings her Communion, a Bulletin, says a prayer and any type of Liturgical Season celebratory booklet. The parishioners rotate
every Sunday, so about nine different people show up. It's wonderful.
Don't sit by waiting for people to show up. Pick up the phone, call your Pastor and invite people over for coffee/tea if you are able to do it. People don't expect a 4-course meal just hospitality.
The Pandemic has been a game changer but things are getting better now and it is never too late. The computer is not enough. We all need people and the fact that you reached out is proof that you are aware of it.
Amen...
If that is the case please reach out to your Faith community. That is some of the best community there is, and you can readily call and find out what houses of worship that believe as you do would have some transit help to get to meetings, services, bible study.
In the states some areas have active senior center communities with bus service; we do in my city. Some will pick up and deliver for daily meals. There are also councils on aging in some cities.
Begin to reach out.
I agree with others that all you have been dealing with may have led to clinical depression and you may be greatly helped by having low dose anti depressant. As to what other activities you might enjoy I can't know what they would be, but anything from books to puzzles to crafts might help. You could be the next Grandma Moses.
That would help you feel connected to your new community and give you a pastor to tell your husband that being abusive to his wife is against Scripture.
Once he is placed, please, take time for you. Find and cultivate new friends, hobbies and ways to help others in need. It will help you recover from his hateful treatment.
The light is getting bright, 2 to 3 weeks, you can do it!