when I get to a point in each day where I feel irritation from my 86 Y.O. child... I have a couple of beers to ease the resentment... sometimes followed by a third! It works for me. I don't want to start on drugs for stress relief and I love the beer anyway... and it helps me through the day😊 Whatever works for you!
An alcoholic friend of mine called and told me how proud she was because her husband only drank 5 glasses of wine that day, because the night before he fell out of bed. That is definitely not a balance.
I think personally everything in life is a balance. To much of anything is not good for anyone, 2 beers is a balance, to me.
I brag at times how I don't drink and I don't, I know to many alcoholics, and no interest. But I really like my before bed, THC edibles, legal in my state. So my brag about not drinking is maybe hypocritical . I'm not sure. I'm just a bit of a hippie. I am who I am! 😀
Id just be careful of weight gain and high BP.
Maybe it's time to place your wife in the appropriate facility where she will receive the 24/7 care she now requires, and you can get back to just being her husband and advocate and not her irritated caregiver, and instead of perhaps becoming her alcoholic husband who will need rehab after this is all said and done.
My ex-husband and son are both recovering alcoholics, so I am obviously a bit biased when it comes to anyone drinking in excess or needing to often, which to me needing several drinks a day is a sign of issues to come. I'm just saying.
There are much healthier ways to deal with stress that don't involve drugs of any kind, but I'm well aware that most folks as they age don't want to change their ways until they are perhaps forced to. And in your case, I hope for your wife's sake that you will make some healthier changes for you both.
I can only guess that you've never had to deal with an alcoholic in your life, and I'm glad you haven't, because it not only tears the person apart who is one and their life, but also everyone in their wake.
And don't get me wrong, I do enjoy having a drink once a month or so, but I do not "need" to have one, two or three every single day.
To me that is a red flag and should not be ignored.
Mine is sweet tooth, on good day I try to stick to dark chocolate thinking it is better than other sweets. Not really as I tend to eat too much of it.
And mine other addiction, beautiful clothes. At least to me.
I was criticized that I dress too well for caregiver.
Should I look haggard and completely unkept?
Or implying that I am caring too much about myself?
Whatever makes us feel better is our choice.
Alcohol does concern me, But that because of people I've been around. If you can keep it at no more than 3 , preferably 2 . And id say try to go 2 days a week with none.
Also Alcohol is harder on the body as we age
I know devastating effects of alcoholism.
However, I would never judge caregiver. Ever!
Someone has to be the voice for his demented wife who no longer can speak for herself, as she deserves to be cared for by someone with a clear mind, so mistakes aren't made.
And like I said in my original post, if his wife's care is just too much for him, then placing her in the appropriate facility would be the next best step.
We all get one life here on earth. To live as WE see fit. Our opinion of you is none of your business. J/S.