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My husband had anesthesia damage in 2012. As he has grown older, it presents in a lot of ways like a dementia. I’ve been doing this with him a long long time.literally overnight he changed, this past week or so he is listless, no talking, stares ahead with his mouth open. He eats or drinks very little. He may be forgetting how to swallow. He pockets food and sometimes spits it up. Yes, I am getting his doctor to see him. I am not forcing anything. We get him up, clean and change him, he shuffles to the living room with help.I feel more sadness suddenly than I ever have. It’s like anxiety of not knowing what happens next, is this it? Watching him get worse over time was so much different than knowing we are in the last stages. How do I watch him die?

Is he a DNR?
Do you wish him to remain at home on Hospice?
Have you come to conclusions abour whether he will ever want NG or PEG tube feedings?
Can you continue to manage home care?
Are you certain this being so sudden that there is no UTI involved and no sudden stroke.
Myself, I would call EMS for transport to hospital for this sudden and drastic change, esp with the swallow which lack of can cause choking and death.

I think hubby needs an eval. While in hospital getting all this checked I would discuss all of the above with Social Worker in hospital. If placement is required then hospital is best place to do this from.

I am so very sorry for this sudden change and hope you'll update us. Please don't force any food and keep diet very mechanically soft. If there is choking then it is time for Emergency Room and evaluation.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to AlvaDeer
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It sounds like your husband may have had a stroke or at least a TIA, which means that perhaps you need to call 911 to have him seen sooner than later.
They can also have him checked out for a UTI.
And DEFINITELY have hospice brought on board now as it sounds like he would qualify for their help.
It is heart wrenching to watch someone we love decline so, but you are stronger than you know and will get through whatever lies ahead.
Hospice will help walk you through to the end.
God bless you.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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I’m sorry for your sadness. Worry over what is next helps nothing and only adds to your stress. Try to focus on the moment, consider if a medication might help your deal better with the sadness and anxiety of this time. Ask the doctor if hospice services are appropriate, I found them to be a big help in guiding me with my dad. Know that life does go on and you’ll still have purpose no matter what happens. I wish you peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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"overnight" (aka "sudden") can mean a UTI... has be been checked? Does he have any wounds on him (bed sores, punctures) that could have turned septic?

May you receive peace in your heart on this journey.
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Reply to Geaton777
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