In January 2024 I found my dad half-dead in the hospital thanks to his new wife and her predatory elder abuse “friend group”. I live in TX, they live in CT. I flew up after receiving threatening and harassing phone calls from the new spouse and found him there only thanks to the police dept. She quickly blocked my sister and I from his medical and then legally banned us from seeing him. I had to file for Conservatorship which she delayed and it finally went to third party court assigned. (In CT, that is an attorney). My father never transferred the TX deeds to me but it was in his will 10 years ago for the TX properties to go to me. I have a long email history to back this up. He has a recent dx of Alzheimer’s and on top of that I think cult-like techniques and brainwashing were utilized on my dad. He apologized profusely saying he’d been coerced into signing things he didn’t want to, etc…. He is extremely codependent on the new spouse (trauma-bonded), she seems to have been his “handler”. He has described torture and neglect experiences to me as well as coercive control as well as financial exploitation. The new spouse’s lawyer is her friend who is also in the group (very very unethical and a scary unpleasant person). It’s four months later and I’m still in complete shock. I haven’t been able to prove the abuse to authorities yet but hopefully will be able to once I get on his medical and find out what the hell happened to him. My dad is a Veteran and she blocked him from going to the VA earlier in the month, This is a nightmare situation and I have been forced into financial duress the past few years through them scapegoating my daughter and I and them causing me expensive issues (which I am only putting together now). Obviously I have forgiven my dad — he is a victim in this and obviously I had not realized he was experiencing dementia or that he was in an abusive situation (he was covering for her well). In CT the marriage laws are strong…AND…this woman’s lawyer friend is beyond unethical and one step away from getting disbarred in the state of CT (I wouldn’t put *anything* past her). I’m a disabled single mom and those properties or the income from them would be my daughter’s inheritance. Although my father apparently has lots of money tucked away, I’ve had to raise her in near poverty conditions.
My father is saying he didn’t marry the woman and would not have married her and didn’t sign any marriage certificate. The certificate looks real however (I’ve had it checked 4 times) and it’s dated on the anniversary of my mother’s death. Aka the woman I’m dealing with is a psychopath who targeted my family 10+ years ago. She also has the same name as my deceased mother. I believe away from almost killing my dad that she is also a criminal/ grifter who is doing some kind of identity theft or title scam or foreclosure scams. I have already got Aura for us plus a title lock to alert me if she transfers the deeds before he dies. Any help on how to protect the property in TX is helpful! I’ve been terrified for my dad’s life and my brain is not working!! But I do need to protect myself and my daughter from this maniac going forward as well. Thanks in advance!
Also, any ideas on how to cream this lady like put her behind bars or else get an almost 2 year marriage annulled/ dissolved would be great too, I’m overwhelmed (understatement!)
They are the ones who file that with the county.
Have you checked dads signature on the marriage license to see if the signatures look similar to how he signs his name?
Have you checked with the county to see if the marriage license is real or is this a copy your dad had? Call the county directly and see if they have a copy on file. If it is a scam maybe you will get lucky and it was never filed which would mean dad isn't really married.
Now with all that being said. Dad claims he never signed anything BUT he would have had to have done the following to even get a marriage license in CT:
To apply for a marriage license, you and your spouse-to-be must appear in person at the local vital records office of the town where your marriage will occur. The marriage license is issued to ensure that you and your spouse-to-be are eligible to be married. You will need to complete the marriage license application, provide identification and make a sworn statement that the information that you provide is true.
So while dad may be claiming he never signed anything he would have had to have gone to the vital records office in person with this woman to show ID, etc and make a sworn statement to even be married.
That's why I say maybe the marriage license is a fraud document (if you are lucky) and legally they aren't even married. This would be the best case scenario and I hope that is the case for your dad and you.
My dad didn’t know he was married when I visited a couple months later - he thought his wedding present was a late birthday present and after Day 1 (the first time I thought she had slipped him something - after I had asked her politely to not smoke in the house. Three times.), I never saw her again.
Yes, I’ve been to the police. And Adult Protective Services. And all the Social Workers I can reach. And the regional Omsbudsman. And the VA. And contacted state officials. So far not enough proof. I was gonna go to the papers but I’m under legal threat now from her lawyer. The Conservator is aware of my beliefs — that she’s likely a criminal and that I think she was gonna kill my dad if I hadn’t started calling the cops. And that there’s been interference here in TX also. He’s getting the runaround too now so I think he’s starting to believe my “crazy” story.
Is the wife still in control of his medical affairs? Are you now his PoA for that?
I'm not sure how this case will work if the conservator is controlling where and how they spend his money because you surely won't be able to afford the legal fees, if you can even pursue it on his behalf. If the house is Willed to you, I'm not sure anything can be done while your Father is still living (and the property was still owned by him). The conservator may need to sell the property to pay pay for his care now that he is ill and cognitively declining. Are you in discussion about this with the conservator? The conservator decides what happens to the property while your Father is alive.
I'm not sure what legal recourse you have on someone else's behalf who is still alive but has a legal guardian other than yourself. This is the main question to ask a lawyer who has experience prosecuting these types of cases (but you will be paying the legal fees).
The "wife" and predator group are savvy -- this isn't their first rodeo -- and have a lot to lose so they will fight you tooth and nail. Depending on what documents she made him sign, I have no doubt they went to work immediately to find and move his money. But now only his conservator knows.
Yes, if the Conservator needs to sell them for care for my dad going forward, that is one thing. (I think the life expectancy for my dad is covered by his SS and estate right now. If it’s for my dad it’s one thing but I’d rather not let this degenerate harpy black widow have them tho!
This is more than you can manage without professional help.
So you have that, and now have control of his finances to use for his benefit.
And having an attorney matters now, not the opinions of 100s of strangers on a Forum.
However, unless I am mistaken, any changes he made in his will between that decades old will that leaves things to YOU and your child, will not be changed now due to his dementia.
Also, he may have left this woman as the executor of his will and THAT CANNOT be changed either unless you have solid proof of intentional elder abuse.
He has dementia and cannot change documents.
You are conservator and can change certain things such as beneficiary on CDs when they come due and roll over, but not certain other things.
Because this is legally very very difficult, and you are states away, I am assuming, you badly need an attorney.
With that attorney you can and will check accounts, deeds, titles, and etc. If the wife is legally the wife, and if he passes with no will that can be found at all, then the estate will likely be divided wife and children or to wife only. You will learn all options, how to keep records, and all legalities for his state.
Whatever your fathers INTENTIONS were decade or more ago doesn't matter now, because between then and now a person who you tell us is predatory entered his life and took over. This is something we see on Forum all the time. If said predator becomes predator-wife she can change, get him to change, any number of things. You, states away wouldn't even know, let alone be able to control such a thing.
As I said, this is sufficiently complicated that you now need not more confusion via a Forum of folks from all around the world.
YOU NEED AN ATTORNEY
and I wish you the very best going forward.
Seems the OP is not the conservator.
Pipsqueak, ask this Fiduciary for an hour of his or her time to fill in what you know (and what you have PROOF of). After that, really, and their having your number for questions, you can relax and leave it in his/her hands. No choice in that really.
I am sure there was something nefarious, but you would need actual evidence.
Dad’s will is not an issue as he had every right to change it.
Nobody can give you ideas how to cream this lady as you put it or get marriage annulled.
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