Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
If he is not with my husband he is with me when we both are not working, he has no social life trying to find him something to do outside the home, are there any programs that you may have were he could meet people of his age to socialize with.
I think that we need more information about brother. How long has he lived with you? Why does brother live with you and not on his own? Does brother have any medical or mental issues that may be contributing to his wish to stay in and to more or less need to shadow you? Is this new behavior for brother, or is this more or less his norm?
Answers to the above will help us answer you, but do know that is someone is more or less, of nature, a couch potato type who prefers sitting around, watching TV, and if that person has always been of that nature, then it is unlikely to change.
So we come down to the basic question of --Is this more or less an issue of you and hubby not having any alone time together, feeling pressured? Needing more privacy?
Wishing you the best and hoping to hear more information. Welcome to the Forum.
He has no social life because he is choosing to live this way. You are projecting on to him how you think he should be living. However, he is showing you he isn't this person and most likely won't be in the future no matter how much effort you put into "encouraging" and enabling him. Most likely -- if -- he is now at the beginnings of cognitive decline or even depression, you have no power other than to have him move out sooner rather than later. If he struggles with being social then a AL in a good facility may be the best next step for him.
He is only 66 yrs old so he could be a speed bump in your home for 2 more decades. You will just need to have the difficult conversation with him to move out. Once he's out then you can invite him over, go visit him, or meet him places, if he is willing and able. And you have your lives back.
You aren't responsible for his happiness or how he lives in his retirement. If you suspect he is depressed or having cognitive decline you can certainly opt to help him get an accurate diagnosis and look for permanent housing that is not your home.
Please note that if he is getting his mail at your address then your home is his legal residence and if he refuses to move out you would need to go through an eviction process. You should spend some time reading posts on this forum from well-meaning family members who invited a parent of sibling to live with them thinking they'd have a "normal" situation then turned out to be a caregiving nightmare. Especially if your brother has not assigned anyone as his PoA... then you have even less power to legally help him.
I'm not trying to scare you but just to give you the bigger picture so you can make wise decisions that may affect all of your futures.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I think that we need more information about brother.
How long has he lived with you?
Why does brother live with you and not on his own?
Does brother have any medical or mental issues that may be contributing to his wish to stay in and to more or less need to shadow you?
Is this new behavior for brother, or is this more or less his norm?
Answers to the above will help us answer you, but do know that is someone is more or less, of nature, a couch potato type who prefers sitting around, watching TV, and if that person has always been of that nature, then it is unlikely to change.
So we come down to the basic question of --Is this more or less an issue of you and hubby not having any alone time together, feeling pressured? Needing more privacy?
Wishing you the best and hoping to hear more information. Welcome to the Forum.
He is only 66 yrs old so he could be a speed bump in your home for 2 more decades. You will just need to have the difficult conversation with him to move out. Once he's out then you can invite him over, go visit him, or meet him places, if he is willing and able. And you have your lives back.
You aren't responsible for his happiness or how he lives in his retirement. If you suspect he is depressed or having cognitive decline you can certainly opt to help him get an accurate diagnosis and look for permanent housing that is not your home.
Please note that if he is getting his mail at your address then your home is his legal residence and if he refuses to move out you would need to go through an eviction process. You should spend some time reading posts on this forum from well-meaning family members who invited a parent of sibling to live with them thinking they'd have a "normal" situation then turned out to be a caregiving nightmare. Especially if your brother has not assigned anyone as his PoA... then you have even less power to legally help him.
I'm not trying to scare you but just to give you the bigger picture so you can make wise decisions that may affect all of your futures.