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No Beatty my mom from the day I can remember was controlling- we just accepted it - we didn’t like it, just accepted it. It’s her normal behavior. Once when I was about 17 visiting my aunt with her, my aunt offered me a glass of water and my mom literally answered for me saying “NO” . I despised this all of my life and never forgot it. I love her dearly, but wow!
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tygrlly1 Jan 2023
Time to rewrite the script. Welcome to my world. After the past 10 years of putting up with my 92 year old NPD mothers growing verbal and emotional abuse , refusing to cooperate with anything she cant control , ( she lacks the cognitive aability to do so due to dementia) hating my husband for taking away " her" time that she demands of me, her escalating paranoia and aggression, , verbal abuse and lifelong Narcissim , I finally had to turn her over to Adult Protective Services after me ending up in ER twice with panic attacks and new ulcers after dealing with " Queen Mother" . Dont let that happen to you. Narcissists get much worse when dementia sets in..and your folks are beyond your ability to manage. Call your local Aging office to help set up care and go home to the life you and your loving husband deserve and have earned. BTW there are adaptive " wipers" you can order for her. She sounds pretty lazy and entitled. Time for a reality lesson and tough love.
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Max,

If you keep going on at this pace, before you even get the chance to speak with your husband, you’re either going to be crying to a therapist or getting an examination from a cardiologist for your own health issues.

Trust me, I am speaking from experience. I was so slow in letting go of control caring for my parents that I ended up in a therapist’s office (best choice that I ever made.) My blood pressure became very high, my heart was racing and my doctor sent me to a cardiologist for tests.

Continual stress in our lives causes a lot of anxiety and physical symptoms as well. My therapist would notice that I was breaking out in hives just talking about my situation.

I couldn’t eat. I felt like I would throw up if I tried to eat a meal. My doctor and husband were upset about the weight I was losing. I can’t eat when my nerves get the best of me.

I found this forum way too late. I needed therapy much sooner too. It took me awhile to wrap my head around so many things. It’s a process.

I am glad that you have a compassionate husband. I do too, but don’t kid yourself, husbands get sick of things. It becomes a burden on them to feel like they have to constantly comfort us.

The best thing my husband told me was, “Your mom gets upset if she gets her way. She gets upset when she doesn’t. So why are you continuing on like this? It’s a waste of time.” He was right! Something inside me clicked that day. I hope something will click inside of you soon too.

I get sad sometimes because I feel like I wasted so many years as a caregiver. I can’t ever get that time back. I didn’t know what I know now. I am grateful to everyone that reached out to me. Find peace, find joy, you deserve it.
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Another thought on 'emergencies'... About whether you react now! Or just mumble Ok Mom, I'll do that later...

One way to sort the *sensible* from the *silly* is playing a little game called 'What's an emergency?'.

Are dog treats an emergency?

Only accept a Yes/No answer.

You will see if Mom is sensible or silly that day 😃.
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BurntCaregiver Jan 2023
@Beatty

Oh, yes. The "emergency". I can't even tell you how much of this nonsense I've had over the years.
Don't play games. What I do when there's an "emergency" is offer to either call a family member or 911.
I had one of our clients calling the office over the weekend with an "emergency".
I called her DIL (she arranged services) and told her that we do not handle client emergencies. Our caregivers work their scheduled hours. The only time the office should be called is if there is a complaint or cancellation. I told the client and the DIL that if she continues to call the office with all these "emergencies" which are nonsense we will drop her from our service.
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Maxi, was this a one-off?

Or are you seeing Mom react like every little thing is a top grade emergency eg do it NOW, I need this TODAY, call Dad THIS minute.

This kind of controlling behaviour can be panic, anxiety, cognitive decline inc problems with short term memory. (Have to do it NOW before they forget). My own Mother gets like this - for all of those reasons.

Wth practice, you will take a deep breath, consider the 'emergency' & then respond.

Remember Mom installed that quick-jab-react button in you to jump at her command!

Once you see it in others, Wow. You kind of laugh when you see them leap of the couch into action over a dropped spoon or something trivial.
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maximus1 Jan 2023
No Beatty my mom from the day I can remember was controlling- we just accepted it - we didn’t like it, just accepted it. It’s her normal behavior. Once when I was about 17 visiting my aunt with her, my aunt offered me a glass of water and my mom literally answered for me saying “NO” . I despised this all of my life and never forgot it. I love her dearly, but wow!
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Good luck. Follow through on your departure date, that is the most important thing. I just arrived at my parents’ for my one month of indentured servitude. I told everyone I am flying home February 10 and I will.
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BurntCaregiver Jan 2023
Good for you, Hothouseflower. You make sure to keep your departure date too.
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I’m going to proceed with looking into what everyone has posted. I’m waiting until my husband who’s a lawyer can help me and then we can proceed together. Love you guys!
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Geez, Max! You do EVERYTHING your mom says if she screams?

Do you understand what it means to be an adult? It means being able to say "no", calmly and firmly one's parent, and take the dog for a walk.

Stop taking orders from her.
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Thank you for answering so quickly! Had a cup of tea! Now another whine moment. My mom wanted me to call my Dad before while he was at the heart surgeon appointment and tell him to buy dog treats. I said to her no I’m not going to do that because he usually calls you before he comes home - he’s with the doctor. She screamed and demanded me to call, so I did and thank god the doctor left the office for a moment! I told her and she replied Oh I thought he would have been finished. What the heck!?
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NeedHelpWithMom Jan 2023
Max,

Are you really surprised by your their reaction? Your parents are going to continue to reach out to you to be their lifeline.

You are NOT their lifeline. You can utilize tools that can lead them to a proper lifeline, which of course, is placement in a suitable facility.

It is NOT your responsibility to be their ‘hands on’ care. You can be their advocate after they are placed in a facility.

You want your parents to be happy but you also have to be happy and have peace in your life. You will never achieve this if you continue being their lifeline. Give up that responsibility and allow others to care for them.

I wish you and your family all the best.
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Thank you for answering so quickly! Had a cup of tea! Now another whine moment. My mom wanted me to call my Dad before while he was at the heart surgeon appointment and tell him to buy dog treats. I said to her no I’m not going to do that because he usually calls you before he comes home - he’s with the doctor. She screamed and demanded me to call, so I did and thank god the doctor left the office for a moment! I told her and she replied Oh I thought he would have been finished. What the heck!?
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I think the best gift a parent can give a child is to realize when they need help and get it. Not expecting their children to prop them up. When u ask your child to care for you, you are effecting their spouses and children and granchildren if they have them. When a man marrys he cleaves to his wife. A father gives his daughter to her husband. This means the parents have no hold on their children anymore. They are setting off to make a new life. The parent are no longer the center of their world. Just a part of it.
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tygrlly1 Jan 2023
The problem is that they dont. They dont get it and they dont want to get it and never will. My grandparents planned for their golden years long before there were government programs, saved earnestly, and graciously went into care , which they had the funds for when they needed it, from their house sale and savings. My parents were not burdened but were a product of the fairly stable 1950s, especially the women...women whose learned helplessness is now making life a living hell for their boomer offspring.
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Max, that leaves ample time until you leave on the 28th.

You do see how this is going to go down, right?

Personally, everything you have shared here, your parents should be in managed care. That would be the only conversation about care you should engage in.

Does it suck? Yes, absolutely! But, they are NOT able to be independent, for whatever reason, so they need to accept that life changes and they need to stop sucking your life force to prop them up. If they refuse, they couldn't care less about you, other then giving your mommy what she wants, that's the care they have for you and your spouse.

Yes, you are crazy to keep pushing the date out. That's why you keep getting pressured, IT WORKS! This is your problem and not your parents. You need to learn what no means and utilize it or YOU just create more pressure on yourself.
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OH NO! I’M HYSTERICAL CRYING HERE! MY DAD JUST CALLED AND SAID HE’S GETTING A PACEMAKER PUT IN THIS FRIDAY! NOW MY MOM IS GOING TO PRESSURE ME INTO STAYING LONGER TO CARE FOR BOTH OF THEM! PLEASE HELP ME! WHAT DO I DO?!
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lealonnie1 Jan 2023
Your father was already planning to get a pacemaker; this is not new Maximus. Your mother is going to continue pressuring you to stay longer until you've moved into her home permanently, unless you make plans to get both of them placed in Assisted Living where caregivers are available to them 24/7 asap. That's the truth. You have to either plan to leave on X date, plan to move in permanently, or plan to get them placed in AL. Their problems and issues will continue to worsen with time, they will not get better, and they will expect you to be their solution until you say NO, I cannot be your solution any longer. Don't be 'hysterical crying' and create drama; dry your tears & use calm reason & logic to handle this matter now.
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Hi everyone- If you read my recent posts, my mom is now saying I really don’t feel good. See what I replied. I actually have now decided to leave around January 28th. I said to myself what am I crazy!? I keep on adding another week.
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tygrlly1 Jan 2023
Plan on the 28th as your date to finally escape with a concrete plan for an alternate facility in place or caregivers hired and then say NO Keep saying NO and wave goodbye on the 28th. You are agreeing to continue to keep being their endentured slave by agreeing to stay. It will never end. Tell the local APS County office that this is an emergency and crisis on the verge of happening, because you are their only support , they are vulnerable adults , they can no longer safely care for themselves and you MUST leave. Dont cave.
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Of course, the absolute best scenario is placement for the parents in a facility, because then children who live in another state like Max can rest easier knowing that they will be receiving 24/7 care.

Oh how we dream of living in an ideal world!
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I am with Burnt here. You have given Mom a date. Don't bring it up again. Get her to do for herself as much as possible. Do not disable her. Tell Dad not to disable her. Maybe she can't wash and dry clothes, Dad can do that. But she most certainly can fold them.
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If you're set to go home February 7th let nothing stop you or prevent that. Nothing.
This is the final stretch because February 7th is only a few weeks away. Your mother will double-down on the games, the drama, the verbal abuse, and the manipulation now.
You MUST be extra careful and observant in the weeks leading up to you going home. If your mother is anything like mine, the fabricated health crises and staged "falls" will also be starting up around now. Many people don't believe seniors do these things but they are very common tactics to get attention and to maintain control over the people in their lives.
Watch for this and beware of it.
Then let nothing short of an act of God stop you from going home on February 7th. Good luck.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jan 2023
And it is usually at the last minute too. Sometimes out of fear, sometimes out of spite, it depends upon their personality.

It’s sad when things seem to be in place, and a parent tries to sabotage everything.

This is when our strength is tested! Don’t think that a parent can’t see their children’s weaknesses. They absolutely do and will use it against them every time.
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I saw your post about going home Feb 7th…and the conversation with your mom. It’s all so complicated and hard, right? I’m going home tomorrow. I’m happy to go home and I’m so sad for her and aging in general. I’ll be back in a month. I fly back and forth (2 hr flight).
I’ve been with her since Dec 22nd. In the summer I did an unplanned 5 week stint (she had fallen). You have my sympathies.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jan 2023
Do you have any help with caring for your mom?
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Max.

I understand that you want them to have their independence at home for as long as it’s possible. Your parents are quite elderly. My mom lived to be 95. If they don’t have good health, after a certain point, it’s all downhill for them.

I am glad that you know that it wouldn’t be a good idea for them to move into your home.

Do you have outside help lined up for your mom after you leave your mom’s house, either with an agency or private care?

Have you spoken with them about future plans when they can no longer be at home without help?

I was close to my mother. When a parent moves into our home the relationship changes. It can also place a strain on even the best of marriages. I have an incredible husband who loved my mom but there is no privacy after a parent moves into our home. Caring for a parent in our home adds a lot of additional stress.

At one point, I toured facilities, skilled nursing homes and assisted living facilities and one memory care in case my mom would ever need that. She had Parkinson’s disease with dementia.

I asked each facility when they thought it was best for a person to enter a facility. All of them responded by saying that it is best to place a parent before things have progressed to the worst stage.

You may want to tell your parents that one day they will have to consider going to a facility. Otherwise, they may think that they are able to move in with you and your husband. Just food for thought.

As difficult as it has been on you temporarily living with your parents, it would be much harder if they were to live with you in your home. Been there, done that, would not do it again.

If I had found this forum sooner, and been told things sooner by experienced posters, I could have avoided a lot of heartache. Don’t confuse ‘love’ with ‘hands on’ care. You do not have to do the difficult ‘hands on’ care yourself.

Wishing all the best for your family.
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maximus1 Jan 2023
Thank you so much!❤️ Please read my post about a pacemaker!
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Max,

Do you have your bags packed yet?
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maximus1 Jan 2023
My husband is picking me up on February 7th. My mom started saying I hope I’m better by then and she said I’m going to miss you. I replied mom, you aren’t getting worse, so that’s a good thing and I love you and I’m going to miss you too. She keeps saying I don’t feel good and I answer back of course you don’t feel good. From day one, my mom has always been lonely without me. We are very close and spent a lot of time together, but I have a husband and a home to take care of. She also said to my husband that she wants him here with her and misses him. She was upset when I told her he will be picking me up and leaving the next day because he has to get back home for work. She can’t understand that he has a job. We’re trying to keep them living by themselves as long as they can, because if they come live with us, we’re going to be trapped. I feel awful saying this, this is why I’m posting on this forum. ❤️
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Max, I'm glad to hear that you're going back home soon!💕
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maximus1 Jan 2023
Thanks so much for your kind words❤️
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Stay strong tonight! Look after yourself first, hubby second, let your parents look after each other for a while. Have courage. Love, Margaret
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maximus1 Jan 2023
Hi Margaret thanks so much for your kind words❤️
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I feel such … relief when I read posts like yours in this forum because it’s so reassuring to know I am not alone. I feel your pain. Can I hijack your thread & tell you how you are not the only one saying you need to go home and getting a bad reaction?
This evening, I announced I’m heading home on Wednesday afternoon (after my monthly visit got extended another week due to a fall, caused by too many drinks) and I got the boo-hoo thing from her.
About a minute later she asked, “what happened to me up here??” We were in her room. I was reading her emails to her and typing out responses to people.
I had been speculating where she might have scraped her scalp (which lead to a large cut on her forehead that needed about 8-10 stitches).
”How would I know,” she said, “I was unconscious.”
me “You were not unconscious”
omit part about being drunk. That point had its moment a few times at the doctor on Friday (reason for fall: 120 blood alcohol level)
she says, “yes I was UNCONSCIOUS. I don’t remember any of it.”
me “that doesn’t mean you were unconscious.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she was chomping at the bit to argue and I stood back. I could see she was trying to hold back. So I tentatively said, “you were talking to me…that means you were not unconscious”
I think — how much scarier it would have been for me if she was unconscious.
she said, “I was? What did I say?”
“let me die, I just want to die…” I told her. she ponders this.
I continued, “I was asking you if anything hurt. You yelled back that everything hurts…I was trying to put underwear on you…and you screamed at me…”
she interrupts me here. It’s just too much for her so she’s got to deflect.
she says, “you were probably yelling at me!”
pause, oh here we go again !
I think, “and now I need to walk away”
Right, mom; I came upstairs after a thud and found you on the floor, bleeding with nothing on, and of all the things I do, all the patience I have for EVERYTHING except the b.s you give me, the eye rolling, the sarcasm… I yelled at you. While
on hold with 911 even, sure. Right. Actually, when I came upstairs and saw her, I thought, omg — she fell, bad; maybe dying??? Head injury? maybe things are broken? omg this is bad.
plus it’s only been 6 months since the last one (which was bad and I stayed for FIVE WEEKS after)
we can not fix their situations or them, right? Let’s go home and take care of ourselves a bit. We will be back soon to take care of them (again).
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Beatty Jan 2023
Slaygirl, you are doing very well it seems - biting your tongue instead of every little line Mom drops for you to bite.. Pat yourself on the back today!

Then plant the seed that after her next fall, she may meet some nice new people & be able to swap stories etc.. coz most folk find rehab quite social. Yes rehab. As of course YOU can't come running & be nursemaid after every fall, but luckily rehab exists. She'll have all those lovely PT staff to chat to too..

The next fall you can promote yourself to *emotional support via video/phone* or something.
Yes?
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(((((max)))) Keep on you path, one step at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time... The pressure on you from your mum will likely increase. That's what happens when you set boundaries to protect yourself. You really need those boundaries to stay firm for your own health. Is there anyway you can go back to your home and hub sooner? Can you get out amongst other people for a while every day? Go for long walks? Go out for a meal or just a coffee? Window shop? Anything to get away from the unhealthy interactions. I used to go shopping and take a long time, then get back and say "Oops I forgot something" and go out again. Try not to engage in the emotional "cr*p". Realize your mother is not well. Your roles are reversing. It's not an easy thing to navigate. You are getting there. Give yourself a pat on the back!
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To Everyone! I really needed your support tonight! Thank you thank thank you soooo much! Love you guys😍
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Max,

You don’t sound harsh at all. You are describing a realistic situation. Things change in our parents lives and often times we struggle in the process of adapting to new circumstances.

Keep focusing on what is truly important and you’ll find ways to accommodate what they need and still keep your sanity.

Indeed, it can be perplexing and stressful for us to go through. Hang in there. Talk it out with others. Make decisions based on facts rather than emotions that will negatively impact the outcome.
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I feel so bad that I sounded so harsh about my darling parents, but I’m not used to them not being independent.
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golden23 Jan 2023
The changes as we age are not easy for anyone. I think many caregivers have been there. It means you are human.
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Max - they are declining and they do need help - just not your hands on help. You and your hubs have given up a lot of your lives to support your parents. You have breast cancer. Definitely time to get off the emotional roller coaster ride and concentrate on your own life. Distance caregiving is quite possible. I'm sorry that they have changed so much - but that can happen as people decline.

With the right people in place and eventually probably placement in a facility your parents can be well looked after by people who are not emotionally attached to them and who can monitor their condition in a professional manner. My mother did as well as possible in those circumstances and it spared me a lot of stress.

My daughter says thank you for the hug and sends hugs back and prayers.

Wishing all the best to you and your hubs and Happy Anniversary. 💐🎉🎈
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maximus1 Jan 2023
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Hi Guys, mom I told you wipes herself now which I told you. Now she started to use salt on her food and she’s back to eating cookies etc. She supposed to be losing some weight and watching her salt intake. I told my Dad that she’s going to end up in a facility and he said if the person doesn’t want to try then he doesn’t care anymore and I said well If she keeps this up I won’t be helping her because I can’t lift her up. My Dad isn’t helping her either by bringing cookies in the house. He said I shouldn’t suffer. My husband and I think they’re giving up on life. If that’s the case, you guys are so right - we go do what we have to do. We’ve done our share for them for 34 years that we’re married! We’re tired of their nonsense! The most worldly, intelligent, interesting, warm, kind, giving people are becoming the most obnoxious, insane people!
P.S. I’m not telling them I won’t be returning for Dad’s 95th birthday! My mom said she’ll make up my wedding anniversary that I’m missing with my husband and I guess this will be it! Thanks guys❤️
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Max, max, max! Your life is not over unless you choose it to be. I think there is some Italian drama here. You have been living a big segment of your life with your patents who subject you to an emotional roller coaster ride. And you are catastrophizing - fearing the worst of what is to come.

This is not good for your health. I'm going to give you some hard words here as you have some hard choices to make. I can see you are worried about your cancer coming back, Good! Then do what you have to do for your own survival and reduce the stress in your life. There is evidence that cancer thrives on stress. Use more of your resources (time, energy. money, caring) for yourself and your hubs. Latterly, when my mother spoke like that to me I was out of there and in a hotel. Eventually I didn't stay with her any more. Your body is saying NO! (Book by Dr. Gabor Mate "When Your Body Says No"). Your health can't afford this!

Your mother is not in her right mind, your parents are not independent, and they do need assistance from professionals now, not some vague time in the future. So your mother wiped her own bum. Good, but that doesn't solve the larger problem that they are becoming more and more dependent. What you can do, as their next of kin, and as other posters are saying, is investigate facilities that will provide care for them. Facilities have equipment and staff who are trained to work with 200 lb. ladies with atrophied legs. Get the paperwork in order - POA etc. Look into Medicaid. Get some therapy for you to learn to deal with your life better. You don't have to sacrifice yourself on the altar of their wants.

Will they like it? No, of course not. Your job is not to please them, or make them happy, but to help get their needs met. Remember wants are not needs. Sure they love living on the water. Unless you can afford to hire enough 24/7 caregivers to keep them where they are, this phase of their life is probably ending. As we age our needs increase and our wants have to take a back seat more and more. That is life. I am 85 and, believe me, my needs are increasing and I have to make decisions based on them, not on my wants. At some point, I will likely need to move into a facility. Do I want to? No, not at all. What do I want? I would love to live in a villa in Tuscany. It's not going to happen. And there is no way on God's green earth I would expect my daughter to put her needs behind mine and look after me so my wants could be met.

Up to 40% of caregivers die before the people they care for. They put off their own medical care, they don't get enough help, they live in a state of stress - in short they don't care for themselves. You are the poster child for this. Again, you have some very important choices to make.

Two quotes by Paulo Coelho:

 "When you say “yes” to others, make sure you are not saying “no” to yourself"

and

“What's the world's greatest lie?... It's this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate.”

((((((hugs))))) to you and prayers
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BurntCaregiver Jan 2023
Well said, golden. Well said. I hope the OP takes your very sound and excellent advice.
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@Geaton

You are mistaken where the 200-pound mother being considered a "2-person assist" for homecare. That's not how homecare agencies do their case assessments.
I've been in this line of work for 25 years and own a homecare agency now.
Client pricing is not based on size. Please don't state what is clearly an opinion of yours to the OP as if it is an actual fact. It isn't. No homecare agency in the world ever sends two aides at one time to care for a client because of insurance liability. A nursing home may do a 2-person assist if someone wished on a falling star and it's a blue moon, but not usually. A client can hire two private-pay aides at a time though. They can hire a dozen to come at the same time if they're rich and paying privately.
When I was agency-employed help I had a 390-pound client with mobility issues. I was the only aide on the case five days a week. Part of the case was hygiene care. Even after I got injured on that case, there was still only one aide on duty at a time.
The price for her was the same as the price for any other client. It's not based on size or weight.
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