I was previously a home health aide/personal care provider for 20 years. I provided care for the elderly (age 70 and under, disabled clients, etc.). I am now caring for my dad. He is 90-years-old. I'm new to Aging Care. I need some re-education in these areas. I'm 55-years-old, single and unemployed (due to caring for my dad).
A year ago I lost contact with my dad. I went without knowing what was going on in his life and what was really happening to his health other than what he had told me before losing his cell phone number. In October of 2022 I was contacted by one of his renters who found my contact information on Facebook. He provided me with my dad’s cell phone number and made it seem that contacting him was urgent. Six months before the tenant reaching out, I tried to send a welfare check to my dad’s place. The local police did, but could not enter beyond the fence to knock on my dad’s door to see if he was OK. When I finally was able to reconnect with my dad and made the move from Colorado to Houston to care for him, I found out that he had to sell his house after the reverse mortgage plan he had was going to foreclose on him if he didn’t come up with the money to pay his elapsed monthly payments to a collection agency. I’ve learned that my dad is mostly financially incompetent and spends money like it’s water including giving it away to total strangers. I am still straightening out some of his financial affairs plus trying to manage my dad’s dementia that is severely effecting his memory and mood. He is making things very difficult on me as well as his tenants. March 2024 will mark a year of me dealing with this situation on my own. I’ve been reading online all about dementia, aging parents, etc. Any advice on beneficial resources would be appreciated.
This forum is a fantastic wealth of information. Just be aware that some participants do not sugar coat their responses and opinions, and some are down right calous, and selfishly believe that being "blunt" is somehow helpful, and don't care about the pain they contribute to peoples' already stressful situations. I've never said this to a new poster before, but I think that forewarned is forearmed, and that it is worth staying on this forum *in spite of* those responders because this is a valuable resource and support system. If you are getting responses that cross the line, feel free to use the Report button to flag the admins, who may discipline those people. On an anonymous forum, people feel free to say things they would never say to someone's face.
That being said, I wish I knew about it when my inlaws where imploding back in 2014. Please search the Care Topics to find all sorts of articles and links to Questions already answered by individuals. An often-asked question is "How can I be paid to take care of my family member?" You can find that answer in the Topics, or go to the home page and scroll down to find it, among other articles about popular questions.
Also, the more information about your LO and situation you can provide, the more specific our suggestions to you can be. In your profile you mentioned dealing with the VA and there are a few very seasoned participants on this forum who are familiar with that issue. I'm sure they will respond to you here.
Welcome! I wish you much clarity, wisdom and peace in your heart on this journey!