She has the beginning stages of dementia she is 84 years old but is in great physical shape and still cooks drives does the laundry, but forgets to take her vitamins and thyroid pill. I need to have somebody at night because she doesn’t like sleeping alone in the house. My dad just passed away in April and this has not been easy. They were married 60 years so on top of the dementia she is grieving for my dad. Please help -signed a desperate son wanting help for his mom
Please note that an active RN would rather work in a hospital or doctor office setting where she would be getting a salary, health insurance, money placed into Medicare/Social Security, and other benefits. And go home after work and be refreshed for the next day.
Unless you are looking for a Golden Girl situation. Maybe someone who is semi-retired or still employed looking for free room in exchange for doing some things around the house and helping Mom for awhile since Mom mainly needs to know that there is someone in the house.
If Mom needs more than what you had mentioned, majority would want a salary as one would need money for food, clothing, doctor/dentist appointments, medications, car maintenance, gasoline and insurance, etc. Some social security checks aren't enough to help with every day cost.
Please note, any time is there an employee in the house on a regular basis, and the person isn't through an Agency, your Mom or you would need to contact Mom's insurance carrier, as one would need to purchase a "workman's comp" policy in case the employee gets hurt on the job. If there is no pay, then purchase something like an "umbrella policy" for the same reason, or whatever the carrier recommends.
I'm so sorry about your dad
The twisted sissies thought free room and board was enough compensation for caring for my mom. I had my own bills, house and all the expenses that go along with that. I could not live in my home, mom needed 24/7 care, that was me. Stepdad paid me from the very beginning for what I did for him.
Did twisteds ever volunteer to give me time away, or stay for a week? Nope, not a chance. So, not a clue how difficult this was. Led to them reporting me to APS for exploitation of my mom. There was no such thing occurring and TS's knew it, one of them was mom's POA. Then I got an attorney and a three year legal battle, that I won. Back pay was ordered by the court, a minimal amount especially when you consider what a live-in or facility would have cost.
SC, make some calls to try to find what mom needs. Contact the Area Agency on Aging, have your mom assessed to determine the level of care she needs. Then ask the for assistance in locating help for her.
If your mother has dementia, then I would also focus on this as well.
It may not be a good idea to have any stranger stay with her at night. Consider this...get mother evaluated by a geriactric doctor and work from this. She may be ready for an assisted living where they will be able to care for her and keep her safe 24/7. Hope you can get this settled for your Mom.
Two college students can take turn to stay home at night so that your mother won't be by herself. I suggest two students because one person can't be home every night of the week for months on end. Everyone needs a life. Being stuck at home with a dementia patient is like being stuck in a psych ward. No one enjoys it. The work should be strictly to keep an eye on your mother and call you if there's a problem. When your mother sleeps, the watchers should go sleep, too, not stay up all night to watch her.
If you need other things done like cooking, cleaning, etc. then you need to pay extra or hire a weekly house keeper to do those chores.
Sunsetcliffs, I apologize if I was overly harsh to you. If your mom truly only needs a meds reminder and someone in the home at night, you might want to see if your county has a housing program matching elders who want housemates for reduced rent.
Best wishes to you, and my condolences for the loss of your father.
Here you go
https://www.sandiegocounty.gov/content/sdc/hhsa/programs/ais.html
One alternative would be to hire 3 CNA's to work in 8 hour shifts throughout the week.
If she in only the begging stage of dementia and you don't have these two documents she may still be competent enough to sign them? She needs for you to have these if you don't already.
I can remember many years ago when my grandmother first started to need more help that I too thought some nice young woman might be able to live with her in exchange for a modest salary and room & board. I felt all she needed was a little companionship and and extra pair of hands because I saw my gmother as a strong, mostly capable woman and I loved her unconditionally.
So start scouting out ex-cons, drug dealers on the outs with the narco-traffickers, etc.
I'm sorry to be sarcastic but this question is insulting to caregivers.
Sheesh!
If you were to hire this person through an agency the cost would be $10,000.00 a month easily. Is the free rent and food also included? You might be able to find someone but you need to check with an elder law attorney and possibly a labor attorney. This person will be an employee of mom's and it needs to be setup correctly to keep out of legal trouble with labor laws. A live in caregiver is considered an employee by the IRS and must be paid with appropriate deductions.
My Aunt had no credentials and work nightshift in a ladies home just so someone was there. Call u local Office of Aging. They may have a list. But unless the person is retired and on SS, even though they live there, they will want to be paid. Call Medicaid and see if Mom qualifies for homecare.
(If you do find someone to take you up on your offer remember, you get what you pay for)