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Mom has been having daily incontinence problems and her shoes are dwindling (I can’t wash all of them). I’m wondering if anyone has suggestions for comfortable, relatively inexpensive, perhaps water-proof shoes? She is still concerned about her looks, a stylish dresser, so I’m trying to find ones that are somewhat attractive.

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The facility is not doing its job. Schedule a meeting with the admins to have them tell you how they are going to solve this problem. They should know better. This is their job. If they continue to fail at their job call an ombudsman to mediate the situation. Tell them you'll give them a bad review on Nextdoor.com and file a complaint with the governing body for facililties (and the state, the board of licensure). Etc.
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KMac, have you checked into antistrip clothing for mom? This may be the best solution for her not wanting to wear incontinence panties.

My dad hated wearing them, and he was heavy enough that he didn't see the issues, unless a mirrorwas present. I couldn't believe he was more okay with having an obvious accident instead of wearing incontinence briefs that you couldn't even tell he had on. It has to be a thought process from that age group.

Best of luck. These situations are usually layered solutions.
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Start with shoes for going into the water - kind of like a cross between Sketchers and gym shoes. She may also do well with sandals - especially if you can find some with a strap across the back of the ankle.
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kmac2017: The memory care facility should have her on a toileting schedule so that her footwear do not get soaked.
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anonymous1732518 Jun 2023
The facility could be of the mindset it's better to deal with cleaning her up then trying to take her to the bathroom often.
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Other than the suggestions for reviewing her incontinence supplies, I recommend absorbent shoe liners. I would hand wash (as needed) my mother's liners when they became soiled and replaced them as they became unredeemable. Having at least two pairs of shoes or slippers helped because I could switch them out too and give them a chance to dry.
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You say, "It would be great if she kept the incontinence underwear on that I buy for her, but she consistently takes them off when I’m not around. She lives in a memory care facility."Since mom lives in a memory care AL, they should be toileting her often enough to prevent her shoes from being soaked! This is unacceptable that she's found taking her briefs off in the laundry room and is a deficit on THEIR part, not yours. I'd call a care meeting immediately with the executive director and the head nurse to discuss the matter and a regular 2 hr toileting schedule for mom. Not to mention closer monitoring of her whereabouts and locks on laundry room doors. You can buy water shoes on Amazon that are waterproof but again, this is not acceptable for a resident to have urine soaked shoes while paying huge fees in Memory Care Assisted Living. Period. She's being neglected and it's not YOUR place to fix this.....its up to the staff to address it and fix it. Don't accept less from them than you'd accept from yourself if you were caring for mom at home.

My mother lived in Memory Care Assisted Living for just under 3 years, was fully incontinent the whole time, and never once did I have to deal with soaked footwear. Neither should you.
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anonymous1732518 Jun 2023
All well and good if there is enough help to go this, sadly that's not the case in many places.
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So much harshness. This lady is trying to help Mom!

1. Sit with Mom and a Dr and explain that the incontinence is an issue, not to be ashamed of, and is able to be handled.

2. Allow Mom to help with the purchase of her undergarments. Most are invisible under clothing. Assure her of that, and remind her that people can smell urine if there is not protection.

3. Buy her shoes from some of the previously mentioned recommendations.

4. Bless you for loving Mom and caring for her feelings!
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A nice-looking shoe option might be a water walking shoe by Comfortview
item#: 36-49266-0843. Neoprene water-resistant upper between $39.99 to $79
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Gastroenterologist

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/viral-gastroenteritis/symptoms-causes/syc-20378847
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https://www.skechers.com/women/shoes/
I have purchased a pair for my mother. I have washed them as well.
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We use Propet Women's TravelActiv Ss Sandal, or any show from Propet (got on Amazon) and they are kind of cute--the advantage is the sandal (and other styles) is fully adjustable, washable, velcro around back and top, are open toe so far more comfortable, and come in widths up to EE . I have found using closed toes shoes is problematic for my mother but Propet has a lot of other styles suitable for elders. The only problem with washing is the velcro does tend to wear out but you can replace that or just rinse and they last quite a long time (we have had 3 pairs for about 5 years).
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Since your mom rips off the incontinent briefs I would do as another suggest and buy the washable incontinent underwear you wash. If she tries to rip those off, she can not. If she takes them off it means she just does not want to wear underwear. I feel for you. Good luck in finding a solution.
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What does the memory care facility say ?
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Her shoes are not the problem. Deal with the problem that's allowing her to drench them in the first place. She can't be going out in public in urine-soaked footwear no matter how waterproof it might be.

It is well past time for Depends over Poise pads or regular underwear, and if that doesn't do the trick, then it's time for adult diapers. Frequent regular trips to the bathroom are also a must.
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KPWCSC Jun 2023
Please be kind. This can happen even with the best protection... I use overnight briefs 24/7 for my husband and it still happens on occasion. All it takes is a trickle while you are trying to get seated and sometimes it is a flood if he has more trouble moving that day. We use the hospital socks at home rather than shoes but he obviously has to wear shoes elsewhere. I appreciated the question and the many suggestions.
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Crocs are in style.
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TopsailJanet May 2023
I have a collection of Mary Jane style Crocs in 6 different colors.
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If she's in a facility and having accidents they are not going to look kindly on her or you, carpeted floors and upholstered furniture are not so easily cleaned. The make clothing for dementia that is not easily removed, maybe it's time to consider that.

https://www.silverts.com/ca/all-adaptive/pants/alzheimer-s-jumpsuits?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_network=x&utm_placement=&utm_term=&utm_productid=
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RedLetter Jun 2023
No. A memory care facility is top level care, including incontinence. This is the facilities' responsibility to provide what is needed so that she doesn't have accidents.
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Pool flip flops
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Waders might work. 😁
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You take Mom to the bathroom every two hours even if she thinks she does not need it. Let her sit for a while to make sure she voids completely. She must wear somekind of incontinence panty.
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kmac2017 May 2023
It would be great if she kept the incontinence underwear on that I buy for her, but she consistently takes them off when I’m not around. She lives in a memory care facility.
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Honestly - before I would start replacing shoes or buying shoes for the issue - I would consider upgrading her undergarment collection. If she is not willing to go for the Depends type incontinence protection - there are a number of new types of actual underwear for incontinence now - by companies like Knix, Thinx, even Jockey. They are washable. They may not last as long as regular undewear - but they are not single use either.

They can be more costly (up front) than the disposable kind, but it may even out if you do the math. But they are a good option for someone who is looking for discreet incontinence solutions, who doesn't want to wear the more "pull up" like options. They do lose their effectiveness over time of course, and have to be replaced.

There is also the option of incontinence pads in her regular underwear, as well as the more discreet types of disposable incontinence underwear. And then of course the kind most people think of when they think of Depends.

I suppose it really depends on what you mean by incontinence though. And you would have to look for the right kind of incontinence underwear for her needs. Some of them are made for very light "oops" kind of leaks. Others are made for heavier absorbency for heavy incontinence.

If she is ruining/wetting shoes AND already wearing incontinence underwear - I would wonder if she is wearing the right level of absorbency for her needs - or changing that level often enough. I would start with adjusting there first, and then try to deal with shoes if all else fails.
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funkygrandma59 May 2023
I second what you said BlueEyedGirl, as my late husband was extremely incontinent and never once did his pee get in his shoes, as I made sure he wore Depends(and changed them as needed)and overnight put in an extra pad for protection and more absorbency.
So kmac2017, instead of worrying what kind of washable shoes you should get your mom, focus on the REAL problem of making sure she's wearing the correct type of incontinence underwear, because if she was, this issue wouldn't be happening.
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Consider "water shoes" which are quite washable and non-slip. You could buy inserts to provide arch support.
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Skechers? Not cheap & kinda zero arch support, but comfortable for many. Mine have survived many washing machine cycles.
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Grandma1954 Jun 2023
they now have a line called "Arch Fit" and this is the first of the Sketchers that I have found comfortable.
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Spenco has some washable styles that are plain enough to be cute, very light weight, and available in lots of sizes.

They’re not “disposable cheap”, but have enough support in the way they’re built, and last for a while.

As mentioned previously, it’s probably time to consider protective garments, good for clothing and morale.
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I agree with Barb . You can call them underwear like we do for my father in law
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I would suggest you get her incontinence briefs of the pull-up variety.
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