What can I expect at the initial doctor appointment to activate the medical power of attorney? We have been in touch with the doctors about my dad's abusive behavior and he has already been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. We have an appointment on Tuesday and the doctor said they are going to activate the medical power of attorney. I'm not entirely sure what to expect and I have all kinds of anxiety about it because I know my dad is going to be furious! He is already extremely abusive. Are they going to ask me questions right in front of him about his forgetfulness and his behavior? Or are there routine questions to ask him and just quietly sign it and let you go? I really don't know what to expect and I'm extremely nervous.
The book, "Elder Rage" is available on Amazon and explores this challenge in fairly useful detail. To summarize, there is a toolbox of non-drug techniques that exist to assist you to minimize the potential for verbal and physical abuse. Additionally, there are a wide range of prescription drugs that the various Doc's will try to reduce the abusive behavior. If he is physically abusive to you, and you fear for your health, call the police and they will get him temporarily admitted to hospital psychiatric care in any effort to determine the optimum medication. Research "Baker Act" that explains this possibility.
If you place him in a long term psychiatric facility under your POA for health care, and he legally challenges it, the judicial system will release him to live on his own if he has that capacity. Being verbally and physically abusive is a large grey area.
Rest assured that the hospital psychiatric facility will waste no time to assure the safety of him, other patients, and the staff, by the use of prescription drugs to control his behavior.
When my mom sees her neurologist, she insists she is fine and can do anything she wants to do--Ha! So my sister and I will say things like, "Mom, we have noticed that you are not remembering if you ate." so the doctor will know. She does get upset that the doctor NEVER talks to her and only talks to us (not true, but she can't remember), so we just say something off subject.
I would also call the doctor's office, ask to speak to the nurse for that doctor, and ask what to expect. I've actually never heard of a doctor activating a MPOA, so I'd like to know what happens as well, please let us know. Best wishes!
I did this the week before the visit, though you could probably email the dr and just explain you want to provide additional perspective on your observations for dad to get the right medical help.
Mom's dr found this very helpful. He didn't sign incompetence at that time, but as things progressed; we at least had a baseline and she was diagnosed with mild dementia at that time and referred to neurologist.
Its been a long road for me. I hope your dr is cooperative and documents your dad as incompetent. In my case, drs, psychiatrists, neurologists diagnosed everything but would not sign incompetency as they don't like to do that for fear of legal retribution or damage to their practice (particular if alot of their practice is financially dependent on medicare; medicaid). Plus they do everything to protect elder's rights.
In my experience; Primary care won't do much for you, they refer you to neurologist or geriatric psychiatrist who will do more thorough probe vs just "draw a clock, who's the president, count backwards, repeat 3 words" -- if this is all they do -- beware that is not enough to invoke POA.
Unfortunately, I'm still asked every time I go to that hospital as well as the rehab facility where Dad has been 3 times.
When the asking party at the hospital is politely reminded that I provided the documents to them in August of 2002, there's usually a stunned look and nominal response, something to the effect of needing another copy.
Perhaps I need to explain the concept or archived documents to them.
I've never provided copies to individual doctor's practices though; never been asked for that documentation. But up until recently I was the only one who ever took Dad to doctor's offices, so I was always present for any advice or discussions. Dementia hasn't been an issue, though.
Franklin, I would contact the doctor's office beforehand and brief them on the fact that your father may become upset. I would also ask if they take a copy during the intake process, when they copy medical cards and photo ID.
If so, you just slip it to them with a note cautioning against the possibility of upsetting your father. There's no need to create unwanted and unneeded anguish on anyone's part by anyone in the doctor's office raising the issue.
I think the term incompetent is misunderstood and misleading. I think that most people that are incompetent due to dementia are obviously so, and no court is needed. If it were, I believe it would so expensive, that doctors will do everything possible to help you. It worries me that someone might get railroaded that way, so we all have to be really careful of elder's rights. Our experience was in NJ.
The voting question is a tough one. I'd call the Board of Elections in dad's area for an answer.