My mother is living with us for 6 months now. She’s angry, bitter, rude, narcissistic and only cares for herself. I am an only child, with health issues myself. She has always treated me this way, but now talks to my sweet husband the same way. He has always shown complete respect to her. He is a good man. Happy all the time. She talks down to us both and is basically taking over the whole house. We have to serve what she wants for dinner and I could go on and on. She’s had 3 surgeries and we have waited on her hand and foot. And we take care of her 4 dogs in our home as well. We have two of our own. So now it’s 6. I don’t enjoy my own home anymore. I can feel her anger everywhere in my home. I don’t know what to do. She can’t stay here. I have no clue what to do with her. If she stays here, my marriage will be over, or I myself will be dead within a year. I am so confused about how to deal with her. I don’t want this in my home. I have tried speaking nicely to her about it. She has a foul mouth and my granddaughter is 2. She spends a lot of time here. I don’t like my granddaughter even around her. Help? Anyone else in this situation? All she wants to do is fight. 24/7
shes always been this way. It’s not age, not illness. It’s just who she is. She has not one friend or family member but me.
I can’t sleep. I’m distraught and feel helpless. She didn’t take care of me as a child. My dad raised me, while she was out partying and changing men like underwear. I want to do the right thing by her, but what is the right thing. How far do I let her go, before I have no life left?
if you got this far, thank you!
If she blows up, call the police and tell them that she is a danger and needs to be baker acted, at that point tell them that she can not come back to your house because you can not safely care for her. Don't let anyone convince you to bring her back, say no, no, no, no safe release to your home as often as needed. Tell them that she needs placement and repeat that. If need go no contact with the hospital after you tell them that she needs long term placement because she can not come back to your home.
If she continues this while trying to relocate her, call 911 when she gets out of control, Baker Act her if necessary, do whatever you have to do, just get her out of your home.
I should have posted this before. So my chance has past.
I had a talk with her today, she says she is going to talk to a social worker to get into an AL, as soon as she heals because she hates it here. She says we don’t feed her good. Oh my goodness gracious! Her first complaint was we fed her too much! I ask her every week, what she would like to eat. I accommodate her wishes. I guess that’s all she could think to say. I’m LOL, as this is even more ridiculous as I type it.
This is so difficult and I do feel scared of her. She’s crazy! Then I think, poor thing, she’s been crazy her whole life. She has nobody. Maybe if my husband and I show her love she would change. Someone said it well on this feed. At her age, she’s not going to change.
This is my first time around. My heart hurts for everyone going through care giving with a difficult parent. It’s difficult on you, Even when they are sweethearts. I do love to read the stories, when people talk about how close they are to their mom and how much they will miss her. I always wanted a Mama. I guess the little girl in me, thinks if I’m good she will love me. She never loved me, so it’s a little late at my age. I need to tell that little girl to grow up, and face the truth.
I’ll tell you one thing for sure, you don’t miss the peace in your home until it’s gone. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I can’t do this. She’s so mean, I’m sure she will out live me by far. I think she could eat razor blades, and survive. She pulled the staples out of her leg With wire pliers on the last surgery, while I was making her breakfast. I feel quite certain she did it to rattle me. She loves to do that, and tells me so.
Thank you all for the support and real truth. Prayers for all going through care giving.
When she wakes up, tell her that she will be going to rehab and then she will be living at a different address. Do this in hospital so that you have witnesses to her verbal abuse or she minds her manners because she has an audience.
Doing right by her should not cost you your life and that is the situation now. A loving parent would never ask their children to give up their own life to prop them up so they don't have to do anything they don't want.
Don't feel bad, you gave it your best shot and it didn't work out. Time to change the situation.
Be prepared to be told how horrid you are, she is going to do and say everything and anything to get you to submit to her. I make a game out of what will be said by my parents to get me to do their bidding. It hurts less that way. But know that she will go to the lowest places to get her way.
You can do this! Just think, after Monday she is someone else's problem. Great big hug and strength to you!
It is used to get out of control people help, even when they say no they are taken to the hospital.