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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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It's difficult to say what causes someone to be mean, but I have seen unusually hostile behavior turn out to be caused by dementia. I suppose there could also be other reasons such as infection, medication interactions, etc. I'd investigate to see if a cause could be discovered. That discovery could also help you get more control over the driving. Is the driving safe? I'd definitely safeguard that activity if I had suspicions of any competence.
Thanks - no he's just impossible, refuses to give up doing anything including driving on major highways etc. says everyone is trying to kill him and take his independence away everything is negative - I think fear is playing a big roll, his behavior has changed for the worse that last 2 months, anger, yells, turns air off, does things just to irritate people - lies etc etc siblings both out of state in denial -they think it's me --- harder maybe because I'm in the same house?
For both his sake and yours, you need to act quickly and get him in for an evaluation. I've found that if someone always tended to be difficult, dementia onset will exacerbate the problems; if he was always mild, and has begun to be difficult, there is likely some kind of decline in process. I went through ten years of this with my own father. If you're not getting support from your siblings, as I didn't, ya gotta resolve to start the process yourself and reach out to local resources for help. Start with his doctor. He or she will know of agencies that can help you. I hope this all works out for you.
When you say no, are you saying he refuses to see a doctor? I think it's helpful for some people to make a list of the symptoms such as lying, agitated, accusatory, denial, delusions, etc., and take it to the doctor with the patient. The patient doesn't have to know about the list. The doctor needs to know what is going on. Go under the pretense of getting a vaccination or check up the insurance co is now requiring. Anything to get him in. While there the doctor can give him a mini mental evaluation. Take it from there.
I don't know many people who exhibit the symptoms you describe who aren't suffering from some form of mental decline. It might be dementia, mental illness, depression, etc. but something is causing them to not think clearly and to use poor judgment. When they reach the level where they are placing themselves and others in danger, then it's at the point where someone has to step in. It's tough, but someone has to, if their safety is at risk.
I would watch very carefully. These signs that you describe can quickly progress to more severe signs, such as wandering, mistaking or not taking medication, physical aggression, misuse of money or becoming a victim of financial abuse. I wouldn't just write it off as him being mean. It's probably not that simple.
thank you so much to all for your helpful responses - I have a journal and been documenting, and will have to see how I can get him to Dr - (since he cancelled next weeks visit) stubborn ----again I can't thank you enough for your responses and helpful answers --- knowing your not alone is a huge hug :)
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I don't know many people who exhibit the symptoms you describe who aren't suffering from some form of mental decline. It might be dementia, mental illness, depression, etc. but something is causing them to not think clearly and to use poor judgment. When they reach the level where they are placing themselves and others in danger, then it's at the point where someone has to step in. It's tough, but someone has to, if their safety is at risk.
I would watch very carefully. These signs that you describe can quickly progress to more severe signs, such as wandering, mistaking or not taking medication, physical aggression, misuse of money or becoming a victim of financial abuse.
I wouldn't just write it off as him being mean. It's probably not that simple.