My father has this weird nail polish remover smell about him even after he showers. It lingers in every room and it's making his apartment smell horrible. He's been smoking cigarettes his entire life and I'm afraid he has some sort of stomach cancer from it based off the way he smells. He refuses to see a doctor and refuses to switch his insurance to make it easier on him to do so. He's always going to work even though it hurts him severely, he refuses to retire, and he's constantly hurting himself everyday just so he has something to do. I'm afraid he's getting on-set dementia, he gets irritated easily, he's always mad about something, he forgets things very quickly (his memory gets so bad sometimes he forgets to finish making food for himself), he rarely showers and when he does he still smells bad and I'm scared he's on death's door. I don't have the funds to send him to a home. What do I do with him?
I’d encourage him to see a doctor/urgent care to at least get a urine test for ketones.
I would also get some boost or insure drink for him.
Take one step first
If he refuses to go to the doctors, the first thing I would do is go to the drug store , by a cheep kit to test his blood sugar at home.
That would let you know the one problem.
I actually did this to my x husband his blood sugar was over 300.
You want it maybe around 100, but Alva will know more. Or the Internet
You can also buy a BP cuff with at the drug store
You can also get a thing to test his oxygen level.
But he really needs to go to the doctors, asap but I'm sure you know that
It could be something very serious, but like I said first thing first, it could also be something treatable
Best of luck and keep us posted
"I am caring for my father David , who is 63 years old, living in independent living with alzheimer's / dementia, cancer, depression, and mobility problems."
You list ALZ/dementia and cancer... are these actual diagnosed health issues or are you thinking these may be his problem?
Are you his PoA? If not, is anyone? Forgetfulness and seeming dementia-like symptoms can be caused by other health issues, some of which are treatable.
If you can't encourage him to get care for himself, the option is to contact a social worker to get him an in-home assessment or to get him on APS's radar. But he has to cooperate. If he resists everything, then you will need to wait for him to have a health emergency which requires him to go to the ER. Once there, be sure to tell them he is an unsafe discharge. That's about as much as you can do, if you want to.
FYI you can't "send him to a home" if he has legal cognitive capacity and resists it, and even if you were his PoA it is very difficult to get an uncooperative adult to do something they don't want to.
I'm not sure how "he's constantly hurting himself everyday" by working, and if things are as bad as you make them out to be I find it hard to believe that any employer would put up with someone who hurts themselves all the time, has a poor memory and smells bad.
But bottom line your father is a grown ass man, and he can basically live the way he wants to. You are NOT responsible for him in any way, but if it makes you feel better call Adult Protective Services first thing Monday morning and report him as a vulnerable adult living by himself and who you believe is in poor health.
They will come out and access the situation and take things from there.
Wishing you the best in getting things figured out with your father.
If your father is not eating but once in awhile, his body is burning fat for fuel instead of carbohydrates and that's why he is in ketosis, smelling like he is, and likely to test positive for ketones in his urine. That's also why he's very cold all the time. Diabetes is not the only reason for ketosis...it occurs in people who are basically starving themselves or eating very low calories or only protein.
I dated a guy after my divorce for awhile who always had a stomach ache, always held his gut, never could eat much of anything. He was very thin to the point of being skin and bones as a result. He turned out to have stomach cancer and many tumors in his body from Agent Orange exposure our government sprayed to kill the vegetation in Viet Nam.
Nobody here can diagnose your father or tell you if he's okay, but it does not sound like he's okay. He desperately needs a full physical examination by his doctor or a trip to the ER stat. The ER can conduct a bunch of tests and scans all in one place to determine what's going on with him.
Sending you a hug and a prayer for good results.
I would wonder if his employer has noticed things too. Maybe his work is not up to par. Can u talk to them and ask if its possible for them to recommend he see a doctor. There is something going on and the longer he goes the longer the diabetes has to damage his organs.