My 97 year old father is and always has been verbally and emotionally abusive, especially with my sister. He is narcisistic and now in his old age, he cannot stop talking about all of his great achievements and he exaggerates stories about famous to make himself look important. It's hard to hear, and he has lived alone as a result, but now, as he approaches the century mark, and my sister is the primary caretaker because I still work, he has turned on me. He tells my sister that she needs to take care that I don't cheat her, and he is accusing me of stealing from him. I have left his house in tears. He makes a point to ignore me, hangs up on me when I call, and my sister shouldn't have to have all of this on her shoulders. He has always told us that we were worthless, and he wants our children to care for him, which they obviously won't. Though he's always been abusive, we think he may be developing Alzheimer's. Does this sound like it?
My 90 yo FIL also tends to make up "little stories" about the past. I think he always did so to a minor degree, but it has gotten "worse" in the past few years and especially since he has been trying to cover up his mental and physical decline. Some of the things may have been embarrassing to him and he'd rather change the story to fit his self-image that to tell the truth. He may also cover for things he should remember, but can't and therefore he makes up stuff.
He also used to be a little paranoid and suspicious of certain family members, neighbors and acquaintances. That behavior increased and he became more insistent and sometimes even angry, as he declined. (In the past, he had actually been cheated/mistreated by people but never to the extent he claims now.) Example: About 10 years ago, when my FIL was still well , one of his neighbors borrowed a ladder and forgot or just didn't return it, until my DH's asked the neighbor about it. She admitted still having it and had forgotten about it - and immediately returned it. No fowl, that stuff happens... right?! In my FIL's mind, however, he was convinced that she had intended to steal it. - Fast forward 9 years.... Now, my FIL has been diagnosed with dementia! We're visiting him.... and he mentions that his neighbor had stolen his cordless phone. We know that he likes to carry his phone around the house and yard with him - "just in case he needs it or someone phones him." (He does have an answering machine and they could leave a message, but that's not good enough for him.) We asked him if he had misplaced it and he insisted that he had not and that he was certain that the neighbor had stolen it. PERIOD. A few days later, my DH stumbled upon a plastic shopping bag which contained the missing cordless phone. My FIL has left it hanging on a hook on the coat rack by the front door. He has simply misplaced it and was trying to cover by making up a story.
To make a long story short.... exaggerating or embellishing the truth as well as over-the-top accusations and anger to not necessarily mean that someone has Alzheimer's. It's a possibility, though. Usually, Alzheimer's patients exhibit a change in behavior or personality. A once docile person may become overly aggressive. A once outgoing and social person may become afraid of contact with people.
Have your father checked by a geriatrician or an elder care social worker. They can do mental as well as physical tests to figure out if his behavior is due to a specific disease.....
Maybe you'll understand this too: The other night when I called Dad to talk, something weird was going on, and my "old Dad" started coming out and he was talking and sounding a bit like my old Dad, peppy and loving and more "with it". I started to cry on the phone listening to this----It felt like a cruel reminder of what he used to be. I held back the noise of my crying so Dad wouldn't hear it. I know that it was a "fluke" that day, and he'll go back to the other, mentally weakened Dad again. But you have come to the right place to this website. There are many who understand your pain and can support you.
She went from a loner to crying out constantly for attention.
It"s hard to see the person you once knew change so much.
It"s like a stranger has moved into their body.