Background: Dad is AL with a lot of health issues and suspected early dementia (suspected not just by me. His PCP also thinks it's the case, but getting a full diagnosis is hard, especially since dad refuses to acknowledge he's having issues and threatens suicide anytime someone mentions the idea)
He's been doing really well at AL. His diabetes in particular, wow, they manage that so well — but he's also has some rage issues, which we think are related to his memory loss.
The AL has a program that provides talk therapy to residents who qualify. It's paid for by Medicaid. They recommended that he do this, because of his anger situations (he's broken stuff, yelled at people, it's not good). I agreed.
But, if I told my Dad he needed "a shrink" he would freak out. So we made it out that this is something everyone gets. I thought I'd see how it works.
The thing is, he loves it! He thinks it's dumb, "I don't need therapy." But then he talks about the woman who comes. "She asks me a lot about my family and I get to talk about stuff."
Dad has struggled with his emotions a lot in this phase of his life and I love that he has a therapist — paid for by Medicare! But he has no idea that I arranged it and that it's not everyone in AL.
I hate lying to him because it always bites me on the butt, but I feel like I might need to keep this one up.
What do you think?
You only put in for "extra free stuff." What's not to like??
This talk therapy is helping him .
My mother was similar , at first she wasn’t aware either .
She was telling me about the “ male nurse “ that was coming around . Mom assumed it was a nurse. In reality the therapist never said what his function was .
He just told her he visits and talks to the residents to see how things are . Mom assumed it was like a survey or something to give feedback to the facility lol. She got to complain about everything and everyone , including me for placing her.
Mom loved it too , she said “ he listens to me”.
Unfortunately , a staff member let the cat out of the bag to Mom by mentioning how nice the “ psychologist is “ right after he left Moms room .
Mom never would speak to him again . Because she said “ she wasn’t crazy “.
Do what WORKS. You are dealing with a disease here and a disordered mind that cannot grasp real discussions. Your GOAL IS COMFORT for him, and as much happiness as you can find in anything. It's wonderful that he enjoys this.