Brother will be 80 soon. He is VA connected. I won’t allow anyone to visit our homes until we have all had two vaccines but his daughter has no shots and insists she will visit soon with five family members! Our home is in my brother's name for tax purposes but we live here! Do I have to allow her and others into my home?
Why does the daughter want to handle his finances now? It seems to me daughter wants support with 5 family members wanting to visit all at once. Something seems not right. It is ridiculous with the pandemic to visit with 6 people all at once. I would never allow my entire family visiting my 98 year old mother all at once and without being vaccinated.
If you and your brother are both on the same page about this, tell the visitors NO, in a nice way. To go stay at a hotel if they MUST come, and you'll try to go by for a short visit if you can. Once everyone is vaccinated, THEN the visits can take place.
If they don't like it, they can lump it. That's my take on things.
Good luck!
As to who handles the finances, are you the POA? Is your brother competent now to appoint a new POA? Those are the two questions that matter. If your brother wishes to change the POA he may do so. He may choose his daughter or you.
If he is incompetent he cannot appoint a POA. Then it comes down to guardianship. As the person who has cared for him all these years, and if you have kept good records of expenditures, you are likely to win even if the daughter applies to be guardian. But not necessarily, and the cost of a fight for guardianship can run to the 10s of thousands of dollars.
Why, after all this time, does the daughter wish to manage her father's care? Does her father live with YOU , or do YOU live with him?
This matters, because if the father lives with you and she wishes to take on his care, perhaps you should make clear that she takes on ALL of his care.
Do you suspect the daughter of trying to get her father's finances?
Does she suspect YOU?
Can you tell us a bit more about what's going on here.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/i-have-taken-care-of-my-beloved-big-brother-for-25-years-but-now-his-daughter-insists-she-can-come-465800.htm
I also would raise the issue that JoAnn did:
"My brothers name is on home ownership for tax reasons." Are you both on the deed? If so its your house, too"
I think an explanation would help as to why you and (husband?) own (??) the house, live there, but title is vested in your brother's name. He does have rights pursuant to this arrangement, especially if he's paying the taxes but you and your husband aren't .
I understand why the home is in your brother's name because he gets a break on the taxes for being a veteran. You need to make sure that house is in a survivorship deed to you and your husband, or put into some kind of trust for you to have lifetime use of. If your brother passes away before you, the property will go to his next-of-kin which will be his daughter (and other kids if he has them) and you will be in the street unless this is done legal in writing.
You don't have to give her over care of his finances if you've been doing it for 25 years. If he's happy with you doing it, then keep on.
At some point she may have to take that responsibility over, but cross that bridge when you get to it.