No family anywhere that would take responsibility for me. I've considered asking a friend I trust to move into my home for help for as long as I can remain there. Perhaps putting that person in my will, or an outright stipend as long as they were there? I am not rich, but comfortable with a large equity in my home and a paid for car.
If that is truly not an option, then I might first consult with an Elder Law attorney who is familiar with financial planning and who may be able to make some suggestions. There are quite a few posters around here, who have knowledge about planning for extended care. I hope they will chime in. They may give you some things to consider before meeting with an attorney. The law may vary by state.
The reason I suggest the attorney, is that your assets or property might be needed to help pay for your long term care. There are laws about how all of that works and what might disqualify you, such as if your income is too high for things like Medicaid assistance with long term care. It might also determine if your house would be kept clear of a lien depending on your financial situation and qualifications. It's all very complex, imo. Maybe, others here can explain it better than I can.
Oh, an attorney might also provide advice regarding a contract for home care services, if you go that route. They might also suggest things about your Durable Power of Attorney, Health Care POA and Will.
I hope you are able to find your answers. I'd be interested to know how it works out.
I made a different video for my caregivers..This is how i like my hair brushed, This is what i like to eat. Like a series of training videos.
These are the topics i covered:
Food and diet
Medications (I take this one with food. I know the doc said this, I do it like this....)
Groceries
Shopping
Clothes and Laundry
Passwords and Financial Accounts (I also dictated permission to my bank to let the person who is pay on death have permission to close the account even if some of the paperwork was not exactly correct...etc. Don't know if this will work, but i explained it.I have filled out a financial POA....)
I did a video of explaining what i do for fun, a bit of my family history,
etc..all of the things a person would need to know to care for me is on video.
What kind of toothpaste i use....etc etc etc.
mentioned the video in my ADvanced directives.
I also made a video that explained, for instance, when my friend had a stroke and needed a feeding tube, I don't want that. that i am OK with this treatment in this situation etc...as many as i can think of, and my reasons why.
It might sound kind of creepy, and I didn't do it all at once, but once i got it done, i felt really at peace, like I could stay in the present minute and not worry too much about the future.
I also sold a LOT of my stuff. Took pictures of it, but simplified. Saves on caregiving costs.
in terms of the actual person to name on the DPOA, i started hanging out on some of these websites where young millennials hang out and watched for the smart ones, that I basicaily agreed with, who don't back down easy, and are good advocates. Finally asked one or two of them to be a final advocate for me, and to watch my videos. Introduced these people to my friends, and doctors, had them fingerprinted, and referenced. I mean, what the heck. Didn't know my first grade teacher either. Leap of faith.
I talk to my doctors A LOT.
And yes, my attorney.
Hope I go in my sleep, quietly and peacefully, like my grandpa did. Not kicking and screaming like the folks in the backseat of his car......:) good luck to you.
Having someone come in and live with you is a great idea but it can be very difficult.
I am the primary caregiver for my husband and I just lost a caregiver that was here 5 days a week for 6 hours. She was stealing things so I let her go and let the police deal with it. Being with someone with dementia for 24 hours a day 7 days a week can be very ..VERY stressful.
This stress can lead to abuse purely out of frustration.
You would be better off getting more than one person to help you.
You need to protect yourself and your house and assets. You are aware now but what happens in 6 months, 9 months, 12 months, 24 months when someone asks you to sign a piece of paper and you have no idea what that paper is and then you find yourself homeless.
Anyway you have to fully trust someone and that is difficult particularly if that person is not related to you. And from some of the problems I have read that people have even if the caregiver is related to you that is not a guarantee that you will be safe.
You might want to consider a nice Assisted Living facility where you can go in "fully functioning" and can remain until end of life. The levels of care would be able to allow you to stay in the same facility with pretty much the same staff and that will give you a measure of comfort.
While you may not want to give up your house think of the maintenance that will soon become too much. You will not have to worry about a mortgage, property taxes, gas bill, electric bill, water bill, most food costs and most assisted living facilities have transportation to shopping, entertainment, possibly Dr appointments and occasional trips. So you may save with the car expenses as well.
Talk to an Elder Lawyer about setting up POA for Health Care as well as Financial.
Side note...Since you are aware of your diagnosis and you seem to be pretty aware at this point have you thought about a blog or other on line way to communicate your journey so that we may learn from you. I would dearly love to get into my husbands head to find out his fears, his thoughts, what he would really want me to do. I have told him I would love to have him back for 1 day so he could tell me what he wants me to do.
I have had a few patients in your situation. We have some good fiduciaries in my area who provide this service, and although it's not a perfect solution, it often works fairly well.
I have also had patients who have a friend as power of attorney overseeing the care, and most friends end up extremely overwhelmed. (This role can be overwhelming for family members too, but often there are several family members involved which can make the work more manageable.)
You can and likely should meet with an eldercare attorney to help figure out your financial long-term plan, but this doesn't replace the need to identify someone who will oversee and organize your care. The fiduciaries I have worked with often lead a team, which includes a care manager to hire in-person aides or coordinate care with the medical providers.
Moving into a facility can be a good choice, but you will still need someone to oversee your medical care, as well as your financial/legal affairs.
Good luck, it's a challenging situation to manage but very good that you are thinking ahead.
all those directives might be ok but i have a better plan in place .
i have brass knucks .
ill dictate like mussolini when i become senile -- and the smart people who matter -- will pay attention .
youll be able to recognize them -- theyll be the ones with teeth ..
SamHouston can call his local Area Agency on Aging for information and referrals, to find someone offering a similar service in his state.