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This happens when the tv is on or off. Don't want her to believe that. Not sure really what to do, is this helping her or not. kinda stressful. I just don't know?

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If it happens when the TV is off it is a hallucination. This is not an unusual thing in many dementias. It happens often with Parkinsons and Lewy's. My brother would see and converse with entire garden parties at night, and was aware he was doing it and that it was not right. Not a dream. It frightened him quite a lot what was happening to his mind at the same time he was a bit fascinated by it. Later in illness people cannot separate out the reality from the hallucination at all. There is honestly no right. It is up to what works best. If she is upset, then try to deflect her to another subject, activity, drawing or anything. If she is calm then just ask her "Who are you seeing? I don't see who you do". Important thing is don't argue. You won't win.
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Angelshelpme2 Dec 2020
Thank you so much Alvadeer! Just talking about this helps me so much.
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Your profile, “I am caring for...”, lists AD and UTI. Is that right? Both of those can cause hallucinations. Has the UTI since been treated. If not, that's step one. And if she has AD, hallucinations are very common with it and the other neurodegenerative diseases.

Does she get upset, frightened or angry when she hears people talking about her? Does it upset you to the point of being stressed? If yes, notify her doctor about it. Otherwise try to change your approach. Maybe suggest you heard the comments also then try to redirect her. “Yea, they're talking about everyone but no one is listening to them, let's have lunch”, or whatever might work. Trying to convince her that what she hears isn't real won't work. You've probably noticed that.
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Angel, the best thing anyone can tell you is this: if your loved one is happy & calm, you're doing everything right & she's fine. Don't try to fix what isn't broken. Don't argue with her; if she thinks the people on TV are talking to her, fine. UNLESS the TV people are upsetting her, then they're NOT speaking to HER, and turn the TV off.

The goal you have here is to keep her safe & calm. The whole scenario of caring for someone with dementia/ALZ is a very, very difficult thing to do. As I suggested to you yesterday, read up on this subject ........... everything you can get your hands on! That way, you'll be better prepared for what you face with your loved one.

Baby proof the house. Remove chemicals from under the sink or lock them up with a cabinet lock. Don't give her access to the stove. Install locks high up on the doors to the outside of the house so she can't get out and wander away at night. Things like that you DO need to know so you can prepare yourself and keep her safe & sound if you don't want to place her in Memory Care.

We can help you here with suggestions and advice, but the best thing you can do is educate yourself about what you're doing and how to care for someone with dementia. The Teepa Snow videos on YouTube will help you learn how to talk to her, how to use a maneuver called the hand-under-hand technique, as a guiding and assisting technique that provides caregivers with an amazing connection. It promotes a physical touch connection that is friendly, comforting and attention-getting without being intrusive or overbearing. The link below will teach you how to use that technique to help your loved one get dressed:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wn1OEfQt0ow

Lots of GREAT stuff by Teepa Snow to help you learn how to care give to the best of your ability, and to connect with your loved one properly.

Wishing you all the best!
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