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I will be taking her home soon to care for her. My sister put mom in my nursing home without my approval. I think and don't know for sure if she is POA for my mom.
I think you are a little ahead of yourself. If your sister is POA, you can't remove her from the nursing home. You can't get her meds, or her records. Let's say that you would get to be POA. Then, you can do what you want and the social security checks will just be sent to the address that you give Social Security.
Tell us more about what is going on. Can you really care for an elderly ALZ. patient 24 hours a day?
Good luck and I hope that this works out for everyone.
Is the nursing home getting her check and now that she'll be leaving the NH you're concerned about how to get those checks back?
When my dad went into the NH they wanted me (as POA) to have his social security checks direct deposited to them but I refused and told them that I would write them a check every month. They agreed to this.
If you take her out AMA (against medical advice) and sis has POA, you are not only not getting the check, but you will also be getting the bills. Don't sign anything or move anybody until you consult with an attorney.
Usually in order to be discharged from a facility, the person either has to be able to have the cognitive ability to self-discharge AMA; they have the medical paperwork done that they do not need the level of care of the facility; their legal DPOA signs off for them to leave; or the facility has given them a "30 Day Notice" and they have to leave.
Which is your situation? Is the bill at the NH fully paid up?
How is mom's SS being done - actual check or direct deposit? Is the NH the current address for SS and how did this happen (by that I mean is the NH just the mailing address for mom so that is why NH gets the check OR has the NH become the representative payee for the NH)? All this will make a big difference in just how simple the SS check situation will be.
SSA may require that for any change to be done, that mom has a representative payee done for her. Google it to see if you can qualify to make this happen & that mom is fully able to do what is needed by SSA to make the change happen. SSA can deny you to be the representative payee too.
Keep in mind that your sister if she has a valid DPOA done by mom probably can trump anything that you do & can contact APS if you move your mom.
Dave FM, in Illinois there isn't any way to know that. Don't know about other states. A POA, though, can always be superseded by including language that says, that the person revokes all previous POAs. (At least here in Illinois that's true. I'm beginning to understand that laws aren't necessarily the same for POAs in all states.)
The social security check is normally deposited in the elder's checking or savings account via direct deposit. POA is for financial decision making not health care and where or how to provide it. Your sister may not have POA and your mother with help from her doctor may have signed herself into an assisted living or NH arrangement. As a daughter it would have been helpful if all 3 of you reached the decision to enter and leave the NH. However, your mother can decide to leave the NH if she is able to do so. The NH can not hold her prisoner. However, make sure you have the ability and funds to care for her medical needs. Caregiving is a time consuming, physically demanding job which requires adequate funds to meet your mother's health needs. That said, if she was placed in a NH prematurely (which happens frequently in our society) it would be a blessing to meet her needs at her home or your home. Recognize if you bring her to your home she may not do as well as if she remains in her home with your ongoing presence. Elders like familiar surroundings. Good luck, I do not think this will be a smooth transition because your sister did not feel she should incorporate your opinion on the placement and now you are independently (our with only mom's approval) removing her leaving your sister out of the decision making. It does help if the siblings and parents are working from the same game plan. However, sibling friction seems to abound in caregiving decisions, remember to put mom's needs first and foremost. It is all about mom, you and your sister will have decades to handle your issues after mom passes away. Good luck.
1. Why was Mom placed in the NH? 2. Contact an Elder Care Attorney. 3. Do you work or have a family of your own? It is a large responsibility to take care of an elder person with various medical conditions. You will be driving her to doctor appointments, giving her her medicines, bathing/toileting her, being her constant companion. Are You up for that grueling day in and day out headache?
The NH takes her SS no matter how big or how small it is because that is how they get paid. That also means she probably does not have any other assets in her name. If she had any other assets your sister would have been privately paying the NH thousands of dollars a month to take care of your mother.
If your mother is competent talk with her and ask if she has had a will made up or who her lawyer is. That usually helps answer a lot of questions right there because in her paperwork it might state who is executor of her estate and who has POA. You need to fill out a different paper for you to be responsible for her health needs. TALK to your sister - calmly - to find out any of the reasons why mom is in the NH, if there is a lawyer - if not both of you go to an Elder Law Attorney. He can help explain how to handle legal situations. Which one of you spends more time with mom? Maybe one can be executor of the estate and the other responsible for her health needs.
BUT remember to work together and communicate. You do not want friction between family members because a parent can always pick up on that and say, "you girls always got along together why are you arguing now?"
I am sure you want the best for your mother, but moving her in with you is that the right thing to do? Remember she may be your mother, but the roles will now be reversed and you will be the mother taking care of her. There will be lots of arguing going on because she may think she is still capable of doing what she did before - daily living skills, cleaning, cooking, etc.
You are going to need respite for a break of the strain you will now be under taking care of her 24/7. Are there Senior Centers close by that she can be scheduled to go on a regular basis to participate in various activities, have lunch, and meet other people while you go do your own personal doctor appointments, shopping, relaxing.
Think it over carefully, thoroughly, and calmly talk with your sister before making any rash decisions. Contact the Elder Care Hotline it is a 1-800 number. You can talk to an Elder Care Lawyer first to find out which direction you should go. Then talk with your sister and if she is being difficult make an appointment for both of you to talk to the Elder Care Lawyer.
Good luck on this next grueling adventure in life. But if you both can get on the same page you will both enjoy the end result.
No one wants to put/leave a loved one in a nursing home, but as others have noted, being a 24/7 caregiver is emotionally, physically, and financially draining. You must carefully consider this decision, weighing your options, and figure out how much help you can realistically expect/afford in taking care of your mother. [Are visiting nurses/ home aides an option? Can you afford them? Will medicaid pay for them? etc.] In addition to the other suggestions here, you might call your mother's social security office and explain the situation. We all know how terrible and difficult this is, but your sister might have had very valid reasons for putting mom in the nursing home. Good luck to you.
Social Security is directly deposited into a bank account---they do issue checks anymore. You have given hardly any background about the situation. We don't know if your mother has Alzheimer's, or dementia or is capable of making her own decisions. We don't know the background about how your sister put your mother in a NH "without your approval". At any rate, either your mother's SS is being deposited into her bank account, or the NH's account, or an account jointly held by your mother & sister. What you need to find out is if your mother has a health care proxy or living will, and who is designated as her proxy. The NH should have that. If you have been involved in the NH's care plan for your mother, they should be amenable to sharing information with you. Instead of being confrontational, you should try to make some peace with your sister. If you don't, you will be facing a hard struggle in the long run.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Tell us more about what is going on. Can you really care for an elderly ALZ. patient 24 hours a day?
Good luck and I hope that this works out for everyone.
Are they direct deposited in her account?
When my dad went into the NH they wanted me (as POA) to have his social security checks direct deposited to them but I refused and told them that I would write them a check every month. They agreed to this.
Which is your situation?
Is the bill at the NH fully paid up?
How is mom's SS being done - actual check or direct deposit? Is the NH the current address for SS and how did this happen (by that I mean is the NH just the mailing address for mom so that is why NH gets the check OR has the NH become the representative payee for the NH)? All this will make a big difference in just how simple the SS check situation will be.
SSA may require that for any change to be done, that mom has a representative payee done for her. Google it to see if you can qualify to make this happen & that mom is fully able to do what is needed by SSA to make the change happen. SSA can deny you to be the representative payee too.
Keep in mind that your sister if she has a valid DPOA done by mom probably can trump anything that you do & can contact APS if you move your mom.
Is there any place where they are recorded
Your sister may not have POA and your mother with help from her doctor may have signed herself into an assisted living or NH arrangement. As a daughter it would have been helpful if all 3 of you reached the decision to enter and leave the NH.
However, your mother can decide to leave the NH if she is able to do so. The NH can not hold her prisoner. However, make sure you have the ability and funds to care for her medical needs. Caregiving is a time consuming, physically demanding job which requires adequate funds to meet your mother's health needs. That said, if she was placed in a NH prematurely (which happens frequently in our society) it would be a blessing to meet her needs at her home or your home. Recognize if you bring her to your home she may not do as well as if she remains in her home with your ongoing presence. Elders like familiar surroundings.
Good luck, I do not think this will be a smooth transition because your sister did not feel she should incorporate your opinion on the placement and now you are independently (our with only mom's approval) removing her leaving your sister out of the decision making. It does help if the siblings and parents are working from the same game plan. However, sibling friction seems to abound in caregiving decisions, remember to put mom's needs first and foremost. It is all about mom, you and your sister will have decades to handle your issues after mom passes away. Good luck.
2. Contact an Elder Care Attorney.
3. Do you work or have a family of your own?
It is a large responsibility to take care of an elder person with various medical conditions. You will be driving her to doctor appointments, giving her her medicines, bathing/toileting her, being her constant companion. Are You up for that grueling day in and day out headache?
The NH takes her SS no matter how big or how small it is because that is how they get paid. That also means she probably does not have any other assets in her name. If she had any other assets your sister would have been privately paying the NH thousands of dollars a month to take care of your mother.
If your mother is competent talk with her and ask if she has had a will made up or who her lawyer is. That usually helps answer a lot of questions right there because in her paperwork it might state who is executor of her estate and who has POA. You need to fill out a different paper for you to be responsible for her health needs.
TALK to your sister - calmly - to find out any of the reasons why mom is in the NH, if there is a lawyer - if not both of you go to an Elder Law Attorney. He can help explain how to handle legal situations. Which one of you spends more time with mom? Maybe one can be executor of the estate and the other responsible for her health needs.
BUT remember to work together and communicate. You do not want friction between family members because a parent can always pick up on that and say, "you girls always got along together why are you arguing now?"
I am sure you want the best for your mother, but moving her in with you is that the right thing to do? Remember she may be your mother, but the roles will now be reversed and you will be the mother taking care of her. There will be lots of arguing going on because she may think she is still capable of doing what she did before - daily living skills, cleaning, cooking, etc.
You are going to need respite for a break of the strain you will now be under
taking care of her 24/7. Are there Senior Centers close by that she can be scheduled to go on a regular basis to participate in various activities, have lunch, and meet other people while you go do your own personal doctor appointments, shopping, relaxing.
Think it over carefully, thoroughly, and calmly talk with your sister before making any rash decisions. Contact the Elder Care Hotline it is a 1-800 number. You can talk to an Elder Care Lawyer first to find out which direction you should go. Then talk with your sister and if she is being difficult make an appointment for both of you to talk to the Elder Care Lawyer.
Good luck on this next grueling adventure in life. But if you both can get on the same page you will both enjoy the end result.