Mom will be 95 soon. I care for her in my home as she has dementia and couldn't live by herself. Her dementia isn't real bad ... She gets confused about time, dates, money, and can't recall conversations. We do NOT have a caregiver agreement. We split all household expenses and food. She gives me a check for her half at the end of the month, adding an additional $10.00 per day for my care (cooking, buying groceries, medication, Dr appts, laundry,etc).
My question is: If I put Mom into a home (which I never planned to do, but my health is going downhill), and we apply for Medicaid when her money is almost gone (about one year), will they ask me to pay her back for every cent I received from her? And if so, will they THEN cover her expenses after we use that money?
It's too late to do it the correct way. We actually both did better by sharing expenses, but I realize Medicaid won't accept that. I'd like to just keep going the way we are since neither Mom nor I have much. But Mom could easily live past 104 ... I don't know if I have that many years left ... I'm almost 70 and my health has been deteriorating since caring for Mom. She's difficult even without dementia!
Thank you 💗
Since you mentioned your health is deteriorating you should know that a study showed that 20% of caregivers die before their LO because of the stress of caregiving on their health. What would be your back-up plan if this happened to you? Also, my perfectly healthy and very fit cousin of 62 just died in his sleep (no foul play, autopsy results still pending). So, if it can happen to him it can happen to anyone. What if it happened to you and there was no care plan for your mom?
You wrote: " If I put Mom into a home (which I never planned to do, but my health is going downhill)..." Dementia and health don't care about your plans. You need to operate in reality and probability, logic and reason. You clearly see that there may be a problem in the future so please don't reinforce the romanticized idea that you'll "never" need to transition her into a nice facility. Many on this forum have had that same bubble burst for them during a crisis that they didn't plan for. Why not plan for the worst and hope for the best? This is good for both of you.
You also wrote: "Her dementia isn't real bad ..." until it is. Or, she could fall and have a profound injury. My 92-yr old mom fell and broke the wrist on her dominant hand. She has arthritis in the other hand. Had a cast from elbow to above her knuckles for 6 weeks. Even now with cast off she can hardly use her hand and needs PT every day and an appointment every week. She's still very lucid and able but it was still taxing to care for her (because I still work full time). So, imagine something like this in your situation, or a worse injury.
Also, I'm hoping your mom has made you her DPoA and has a Living Will (Advance Health Care Directive) that has been submitted to her doctors. Bless you for providing hands-on, loving care of your mom. Please go into the future with your eyes wide open.
Medicaid looks for large amounts coming out of a persons account. Like gifting 3k to help a grandson out. So start from here. Have you and Mom do a contract and get it at least notarized. Keep good records. Keep those bills. $10 a day for care is not all that much. Put it down as misc. If asked, then tell them what it means.
You will not be legally obligated to refund to your mother's bank account what she paid you for room and board and for her own living expenses and personal needs. Ten dollars a day for caregiving and personal expenses will not be scrutinized by Medicaid.
The grocery money and the gas money and the utility bills are of no real consequence to Medicaid, but these larger assets are.
I would encourage you to see a Medicaid attorney (not an elder law attorney or an estate planning attorney) to sort out the what ifs. That way you are not in the dark and you can make plans comfortably without wondering about the what ifs.
$10 a day is nothing to add to her expenses for Care.
If mom really can't stay by herself then $100 a day for 24 hr Care isn't too much.
You will need to show how her money was spent and they shouldn't be asking for any money back.
Your mom can have up to $2,000 and be on Medicaid.
If mom sold her house withing I brevet 5 yrs then they would want money.
If mom owns a house, she doesn't have to sell it to be on Medicaid.
You can live in mom's house, just don't sell it or Rent it it out because they would count the Rent monies along with her social checks as income.
In short, keep doing what you're doing.
If the house is yours, and mom is staying there so you can care for her, I would guess that her SS is where the money is coming from. With my SNTF, it can only pay for things the government is not paying for. I was told I could not use it to pay rent bc my SSD is paying for my housing, (in the eyes of the SSD laws).
If the house is yours, and you get $10.00 a day and $100.00 a month, that is $400.00 a month. I am on Medicaid and own a home. My SSD pays the mortgage of $300.00 a month, my utilities of $250.00 a month, telephone and wifi of $100.00 a month. Every year I go thru a review. All they ask for is copies of last utility payment and mortgage, bank statements including trust statement and copy of my SSD yearly statement. The one you get telling you how much you will recieve the following year with COLA adjustments. If she is only receiving SS and Medicare, not on Medicaid or Food stamps, and has assets less than $2000.00, than there is no issue. If she has assets of say, $100,000.00 in an IRA or similar, I would highly advise you talk to an Elder Law Attorney that does Trusts and Wills and knows the Medicaid rules up and down. Call the Bar Association in the biggest city near you like Chicago, and ask for a referral to that kind of attorney. If you go thru the Bar Association, the first consultation may be free. Ask about Supplemental Security Trust Funds aka Special Needs Trust Funds. There are different types of trusts depending on where the money is coming from. If it is her money, she may have to have the state of Illinois as the beneficiary. You didn't mention if she had any assets, but just in case I would do that. Not all lawyers know all the rules. Sounds like the one you talked to didn't. $400.00 a month for room and board and caregiving services is a steal!!! Do have a contract made up and do have a receipt book and everytime you accept payment from her, give her a receipt. If you can, have a deposit receipt or keep your bank statement to show the money went into your account for services rendered. If you buy her clothes, make a copy and keep originals of the receipts. They cannot make you pay her back, nor can she be denied for paying for living expenses. I hope some of this helps you and anyone else who needs it. If I made any mistakes, or someone knows the elder laws and Medicaid rules in IL, please correct me. Best wishes and take care of yourself too. Its lovely what you're doing for your mom.
Social Security benefits are different then SSI.
Nothing will change moms benefits or leave any for a healthy, caregiving daughter when mom needs Medicaid for long term care.
Your information is great for people with disabled relations that they want to see cared for after they pass.
My elder attorney advised the above. He also said I could have a caregivers agreement with my LO or charge rent. He said it is easier to charge rent. Toy must have a lease agreement signed and a realtor must come in the house and assess how much the rent should be and then he would have to give me a letter stating g what the fair market rental value would be. In my mom's case it was $850. A month. She had a suite in my house with a bath and shared porch and kitchen. I had an automatic draft set up to take those funds from my mom's account to my account.
I hope these tips help.