I have taken on the task of caring for my Mother thru her many ailments. My Father is verbally mean, controlling, and all about himself. I am now the oldest surviving child of 4. I have been living with my parents in order to give my Mother the care she needs. However, all I hear is about my younger sister. I feel as if I am nothing more than a stranger in the home. I have sacrificed my own life, well-being, and health, bending over backwards to make my Mothers life easier for her. I feel worthless! It's as if I don't even exist in her world. It hurts emotionally as well. I have cried many times alone. Does it help? No. I am lost and need direction as I continue to make sacrifices no one else is willing to do. I was the only one to step forward when my Grandfather needed help. I was everyone's go to when my older brother passed. I may be a strong person, but even I need an occasional thank you for what I do. Someone to take my hand and say its okay. We understand.
If possible have someone in for 4-5 hours a few times a week and get a long weekend off each month. Call the different agencies in your area and even local churches sometimes have volunteers who visit the elderly. When siblings visit that is your time to run away and enjoy...take advantage of those visits.
You should be proud of what you are doing for your parents; there is absolutely no reason to feel guilty wanting time for yourself. Best wishes!
I really don't think it means anything. Families have their golden children, their black sheep, and their useful children. I guess you can count caregivers among the useful children.
I make things easier on myself by thinking about if my mother's thoughts on me really matter. They do a little, but really not enough to be really concerned with it. It would be easier if she were nicer, but I can't make her that way.
One thing I wondered is if you need to live with your parents. I know for me that it is the only thing that makes sense, but I think of how nice it would be if I didn't need to. Having my own place would make things so much better.
When I go places I get the feeling my mother really enjoyed me not being there. I don't blame her at all. She probably gets tired of looking at me day in and day out. The only complaint I ever get from her about going out is that I didn't stay long.
If your parent can still stay alone for a short time, or if there is someone to watch them, I think we owe it to our parent to give them a break from us.