Her legs are in an almost permanent bent position. She is unable to do anything for herself. We have been rubbing them and trying to do strengthening exercises, but she gets more frail everyday. She is just terribly frail. I do not know what else to do. Any suggestions? Thank you.
Has the possibility if Hospice been discussed?
It wouldn't hurt to be prepared and ask one of her doctors for a script for home health care
I'm still hoping others will stop by and offer some suggestions.
It's often not possible for even the most devoted child to care for an elder through the end stages of dementia as sole caregiver.
Dementia is not "normal development " the way childhood is. Dementia is a disease; if you'd had, say, CP or Autism as a child, your parents would have sought the best outside resources available . And you need to do the same .
So to your question. How do we help ease his physical discomfort?
We rub his legs down several times a day with aspercream, or even just lotion. I use rice hotpacks (easy to make) and 1 1/2 to 2 minutes in a microwave makes them perfect for an hour of heat. We place them on his knees before trying to move him. I try to gently move his legs, but I can never get him to open that knee up very far, but there has been a little progress. He finds comfort in the heatpack. We also use tramadol now 3 x a day. He also takes an anti-anxiety medication. Without it, he becomes very combative and can and does hit and kick very hard. I have bruises to show for it right now because sometimes even with the anti-anxiety med, he still gets angry with us.
Another way we ease his pain is by playing soft music in his room. He seems to relax and go to sleep with it playing, but when it stops, he gets agitated again.
I can sometimes sing him to sleep. Unfortunately sleep doesn't last through the night, so whomever takes the night shift gets to do the routine all over again, but we are trying very hard to keep him in his own home. We do have 2 hired aides who come into his home, and 2-3 of his sons take turns working through the night shift. I work with the aides, and this week have taken shifts by myself. It isn't easy. But, when he grabs my hand for comfort, it makes it all worth the sacrifices. I know it calms him, and that is what I want to do. Unfortunately my father-in-law is in the severe stage of dimensia, with no more bowel or bladder control, his mind just doesn't register most of what he needs to be doing, he has a fear of water so no showering, he doesn't understand even the simplest instructions, but he is still in there and when I can get a connection where he does understand, it is wonderful.
Good luck ElizabethAnna. Just do your best. Don't be afraid to reach out for help. Our family has had to do that, and we all just work together with the aides to make sure he has the best care available.
All I have to add is keep everything warm, sheets,blankets, towels etc and warm any lotions or liquid soap. Use plenty of pillows to keep him in the most comfortable position. For example under his knees and between his legs. Don't be afraid to use and medications prescribed he has a right to to be in pain. It is far better to give him pain meds and allow him to spend whatever time he has left in comfort even if he does become very drowsy. Likewise with any any anti anxiety meds. If you know you are going to move him for any reason give pain med at least half an hour before you do it. Your PCP can certainly prescribe home health aides and any equipment such as a hospital bedWhile not allowing someone to just remain in bed is very good advice there comes a time when the pain really defeats the object. Both these loved ones are clearly nearing the end of their journeys and hospice may be a consideration if you follow their philosophy. Both families are doing wonderful jobs which is so refreshing to hear. Blessings to both of you.
sleeves that went on legs. Not only did I not get any cramps but they just felt good. I have seen them on a tv ad so you can purchase for home use. Helps with circulation and like I said they just felt good. I'd check with Dr first but look into it.
web site. They're called Air Press Compression
Leg Massagers. Also they have leg warmers
with booties. Even if they don't help they feel good.
I went through that when I broke my shoulder and my arm muscles were locked. I really doubt someone with late stage dementia would understand what was happening to them if in therapy.
My Mom is in a hospital bed and the facility has an air mattress that runs 24 hours a day, plus the staff will place pillows here and there [mainly to keep Mom from trying to climb out of the bed since she can no longer walk] but she will hug those pillows. And as someone earlier had mentioned, if the patient is sleeping on their side, put a pillow between the knees to make it more comfortable.
of handling her. She had to be turned every 2 hours around the clock. One thing I remember was a folded sheet under her that I could pull her from one side to another without a chance of breaking bones. She could only turn her head from side to side. Total dead weight but in no pain with paralyzed. It was a very hard week but I don't regret all sore muscles I got from it. She was as alert as any normal person and enjoyed being with family. She had a c-3 injury. Would do it again in a heartbeat. Back to the point, there are safe ways to move a patient so not to cause any injuries, just ask the pt and ot people, will be happy to help you.