My mother is 92 yo and has moderate to severe dementia. The aide we had has retired and now a new aide came today. My mom flipped out for two hours and wouldn't relax at all. She doesnt seem to like this person though she just got here today. I don't know what to do. Do I call the agency and change the aide or do I give it another day and see what happens? Maybe my mom is just not used to her yet or maybe she just doesn't want her. She was used to the other aide who was different but this aide seems okay. I am here watching for a few days but then I have to leave. Any advice would be welcome because my sisters are no help and I am really stressing out.
Talk to the aide and the agency and agree a reasonable trial period. There's no possibility of extending your stay, then?
It takes more than one aide to care for an elderly parent with dementia
My mom had huge melt downs with aides coming into the house - ran outside screaming for neighbors to call the police and fell and broke her ankle
Even now that she's in a care facility I have aides with her and it can take several weeks for her to get used to a new one - yes she has definite likes and dislikes but I can't quite figure out what they are except quiet folks are better than excessive chatter boxes
One aide told me that mom was getting used to her -she wasn't cussing her out so much anymore
By chance is your Mom bias against certain races and religions? See if the Agency can find an Aide similar to the previous one. No guarantee that will work but it make make it easier. My own Mom was very bias of different ethic and religious backgrounds to a point of embarrassment.... the caregivers took what Mom said in stride.
Unfortunately she never adopted to any stranger being in her place- oh except one, an older woman- but at first mom hid in the closet and cried...so..
Please , they are used to trying new people- usually you can meet with the new one first and decide.
She doesn't have any problems with any ethnic backgrounds as long as they are good people.
I can extend my stay but I won't be able to stay home this weekend and I just want my mom to be feeling okay.
I have today and tomorrow to be home then I have things to take care of on Friday and Saturday but I will return after. Just want her to be okay. That's all.
Its taking a toll on me and I have nobody who gets it except for here. Even my two older sisters have no sympathy for how I feel. They don't care because I am here at this time. It was me taking care and doing all the paperwork to get her the service. I find myself flipping out and exhausted. I just need someone to care. Thank you again for your advice.