Just realized very elderly Mom with dementia (extremely forgetful) living in AL doesn’t read anything posted up - notices, announcements, reminders, etc. I’ve been posting reminders on her bedroom mirror but she either ignores them or takes the item off the mirror and loses it. Then I suddenly had an insight and realized she’s never paid attention to the laundry schedule notice on the back of her door, never reads the notices in the elevator or any activity notices posted in the main room, doubt she even reads the menu at the entrance to the dining room. Eyesight is corrected with glasses, new pair this year. She does do some reading, always has a book at night; though I believe her comprehension may be minimal. But she is at least looking at written material. She just walks by the notices / announcements that are hung up like they don’t exist. Any one else aware of this issue / condition? Any thoughts on why this is occurring and how to work around it?
Other than alerting your mom's tenders on her AL floor of your discovery, she may need the next level up of attention from them (more money) or a move to Memory Care. I'm sure this is not what you want to hear. Maybe others on the forum have different suggestions, but if she's not "seeing" the notices and has short-term memory challenges, other problems may exist: my MIL was not remembering to eat. If asked, she'd tell you what she sincerely thought she ate, but hadn't. We had no choice but to transition her into a NH. You are far enough away that there are probably more things in her days that are falling through the cracks. I hope you get some helpful answers!
Read up on dementia/Alzheimer's, the stages, and what to expect during each. You can find coping mechanisms and tips online at Alzheimers.org
Goodness, think of all the things we should read but don't. Off the top of my head: fire escape protocols. The Health & Safety posters that by law must be put up in every place of work. "Do Not Exceed The Stated Dose." Instructions to voters. Contracts. Cookie policies.
I am already losing count of the number of clients who've said "oh, I didn't know how to get in touch with you" (you meaning the service I work for). It takes all my will-power not to pick up the folder we leave in every home and point wordlessly to the front cover, on which is shown clear and full the name of our service, its telephone number in 48 font bold print, and our hours of operation (7:00 am to 10:00 pm).
If the notices and reminders you're leaving for your mother are about anything important? - then you will have to be more direct with your prompts. You can: call her on the phone at the time when she has to do something; ask a member of the AL's staff to prompt her to do whatever it is; go in to collect her or visit her in good time to help her prepare.
Advance notice tends not to be helpful to people with dementia anyway - the effort to remember, if made at all, is stressful for them and they do better with "now" prompts. For example: "it's time to get ready to go out." "We are going in the car to see the doctor." "Here we are, it's this building. Let's go inside."
I'm still in favour of big, bright, cheerful wall calendars that display anything of potential interest to the person, including appointments, reminders, anniversaries, birthdays, etc. But they're more decorative than useful, and I wouldn't rely on them in operation. Certainly, NEVER be annoyed that your mother isn't ready to go out even though you wrote *** Cardiology 11:00 am TUES!!!*** in block capitals on a post-it note.
In assisted living, you can get help from workers; however, more often you either wind up doing things like laundry for them, or telling them to do whatever at that moment by phone or in person. If you don't do it at the same time, as soon as you leave or hang up, she'll most likely forget. They can't and don't function on their own as they once did, including schedules like laundry, eating, activities.
Again, I agree with Geaton777, sad but true, but there's probably more falling through the cracks in her living, and she likely needs to be moved to the next level of care.
In the beginning, I posted notes, reminders, schedules, etc. for my LO, but, they were worthless to her. She either didn't think to read them or she would read it and not be able to process what it said. When she was in regular AL, I wrote a sign in huge red letters that said PRESS BUTTON FOR HELP, but, she would just sit on the toilet and never press it for help. It never occurred to her. She could read it aloud, but, not follow the instructions. I have read of people with dementia who fall down and have an Emergency button within reach, but, never press it. There is some kind of disconnect that prevents the normal process from happening. My LO would stare at a tv, but, never think of turning it on. See a magazine, but, not think to pick it up. I don't know of any way to change that. I think that at a certain point the words have little meaning to them.
You may be expecting too much of her. Her mind doesn't work that way anymore. If something needs to be done, then someone is going to have to do it for her.