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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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She has nerve pills and refuses to see a psychologist. She says psychologist does not tell you what to do but only makes you talk which she says is ridiculous! What next?
Panic attacks and depression ... hmm. Where did she get her "nerve pills"? Does she take them as prescribed? I would take her to a psychiatrist who could evaluate her condition and make appropriate prescriptions and probably teach her some techniques for handling the panic attacks. The psychiatrist may recommend cognitive-behavioral therapy. Yes, the therapist would want Mother to talk, but it is a very result-oriented approach and he or she will also tell Mother what to do, give her things to practice, expect her to report how she did at the the next visit, etc.
She may also be able to discover on her own some things that work for her. My father had panic attacks. He would call someone and just try to have a normal conversation. (He often called me.) One of my brothers gets them often. He is on drugs that help and he has learned breathing techniques that calm him. If he senses an attack coming on while he is driving he pulls over and does the breathing exercises until it passes.
Does your mom have any other impairments that make it hard for her to live alone? If this is the "only" problem she can probably learn or discover ways to deal with it. But I do think she should see a psychiatrist and/or a therapist well experienced in this disorder.
Try to be patient with her. This is a real disorder and a very disturbing one. I have had two panic attacks in my life and that was more than enough to make me sympathetic to people who experience them often!
It would be a kindness if you would come back and post once in a while what she is trying and how she is doing. We learn from each other!
Agree with jeanne, as usual. My mother also has panic attacks, which finally resulted in her moving to an independent living situation, rather than being home alone. She greatly benefits from living among others, which distracts her from worrying about little things. she sees a geriatric psychiatrist who switched her from Xanax to Klonopin and gives her great reassurance. They see each other about once every three week and this is a great comfort to my mom. Isolation is not good for a person with anxiety; either elder day care or a complete change in environment may be needed.
Great advice from the top two posters!! My mom is taking an antidepressant for anxiety, it has helped so much. Of course my mom has Alzheimer's which makes our situations different, but if your mom refuses talk therapy, it might be worth a try to an antidepressant.
Just another note (read your profile, didn't realize your mom was already IN independent living). I talked to my mom's psychiatrist about CBT or talk therapy, which she thought was not a good idea, due to some mild cognitive issues she has. You say your you mom doesn't want to see a psychologist--but has she ever seen one, recently? Some folks have ideas in their heads about what therapists do (I'm a psychologist, I deal with this all the time) but usually, the ideas are either outmoded (therapy has changed a great deal in the past 30 years), or based on second hand information or movies. Sometimes you have to wear this kind of resistence down over time, but also, remind her that YOU can't be the only intervention. My mom retained the notion that I could help her, but we can't do this kind of anxiety reduction for our own!
CBT did not work for me; my attacks were acute. its hard to pull over to the side of the road when you are on a freeway off ram or on the freeway itself esp in los angeles of SF. It was given ativan to chew when i started to panic; instant relief...i use the medication for the dentist and calmly sat through a root canal a very anticiatory frightening experience. Now I am on clonozapam daily, low dose and havent had a panic attack in 3 years. Once the psysiological systems are in motion in a panic attack its hard to CBT-it. Trying to convince a LO that might be in his/her elder years, to go to therapy is.....probably not going to be successful.
The antivan 1 mg pill is so small chewing it takes but a second.. this method was decided upon in case i needed quick relief...sometimes such an attack comes on without warning so water/beverage may not be readily avavailable, Very disturbing disorder. mine started when my father was dying. I was in therapy and the therapy did not put an end to the attacks. Start with medication and the, if she will go to a therapist that can be a adjunct treatment
Just another take on this issue. My mother is living with me and when she first moved in she would say that she was afraid to be alone. Knowing mother, I told her that I sometimes had to go places and she handled it. She was trying to manipulate me. It is difficult to determine when complaints are real sometimes.
Yet another take on the issue.... My husband experienced "panic attacks" -- racing pulse, headaches -- when he was eating at a Chinese restaurant everyday. He stopped going there, and the panic attacks stopped. We believe the MSG in the food caused his symptoms. MSG is in a lot of processed foods, and we're now on the lookout for it. Perhaps eliminating MSG will lessen your mom's panic attacks.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
She may also be able to discover on her own some things that work for her. My father had panic attacks. He would call someone and just try to have a normal conversation. (He often called me.) One of my brothers gets them often. He is on drugs that help and he has learned breathing techniques that calm him. If he senses an attack coming on while he is driving he pulls over and does the breathing exercises until it passes.
Does your mom have any other impairments that make it hard for her to live alone? If this is the "only" problem she can probably learn or discover ways to deal with it. But I do think she should see a psychiatrist and/or a therapist well experienced in this disorder.
Try to be patient with her. This is a real disorder and a very disturbing one. I have had two panic attacks in my life and that was more than enough to make me sympathetic to people who experience them often!
It would be a kindness if you would come back and post once in a while what she is trying and how she is doing. We learn from each other!
The antivan 1 mg pill is so small chewing it takes but a second.. this method was decided upon in case i needed quick relief...sometimes such an attack comes on without warning so water/beverage may not be readily avavailable, Very disturbing disorder. mine started when my father was dying. I was in therapy and the therapy did not put an end to the attacks. Start with medication and the, if she will go to a therapist that can be a adjunct treatment