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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
If telling her that she smells bad doesn't work then you can try being more demanding which may or may not work. In pops case we use a variety of methods. Force the bathing and clothes changing by demanding he clean up before the television will come on or before the car will work to take him places. You could also "accidentally" spill a large plastic cup of warm water on her. Apologize and proceed to help her undress so you can get her into dry clothes. If she needs to also bathe which is likely make the spill something like a very strong warm lemonade tea. It will force her to bathe to get the sticky off and also help with the odor on her body, clothing and justify the cleaning of her favorite chair. Good luck, the hygiene wars are no fun.
It’s been said here that one solution is to take all her underwear and replace it with adult incontinence briefs. Going “commando” usually isn’t comfortable for older women. I agree that it’s time to put your foot down. Unfortunately, when our parents start acting like children, it’s time for US to become the parents. Sad, but true.
I had this issue (and more) with my Dad. Since he could not drive...I told him there would be no more trips out as long as he didn’t wash and change clothes every day.
as other similar issues started to get worse, I finally had my brother call him. Told him straight out “knock off the sh*t, your behavior is becoming bizarre.....you will be ending up in a NH”. Since it was my brother dropping this bomb, it didn’t come back in my face. It did force him back in his heels and to think about his behavior.
Hi Katiekate, She normally only listens to my older sister who lives out of state. My sister called her and told her she wouldn't be going out to eat or for rides any longer if she didn't change her clothes. My mother told her she didn't care and hung up in my sister's ear. We decided we will now just visit with her but not take her out unless she changes clothes. We aren't going to give in to what she wants.
My son lived out of the country for 2 years. Some of the guys he lived with simply didn't know that they had to shower once a day, minimally (Brazil).
He said they'd warn the guy (these were 19-21 yo young men!) and if he didn't get in the shower, they'd overpower him and throw him in clothes and all.
While I wouldn't suggest that for an elderly woman, the concept is the same. You don't let your kids run around unbathed and stinking for days on end? You just need to be firm and creative with our elders. I know for mother, taking a shower is akin to climbing a mountain. She just doesn't have the energy any more.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You could also "accidentally" spill a large plastic cup of warm water on her. Apologize and proceed to help her undress so you can get her into dry clothes. If she needs to also bathe which is likely make the spill something like a very strong warm lemonade tea. It will force her to bathe to get the sticky off and also help with the odor on her body, clothing and justify the cleaning of her favorite chair.
Good luck, the hygiene wars are no fun.
I had this issue (and more) with my Dad. Since he could not drive...I told him there would be no more trips out as long as he didn’t wash and change clothes every day.
as other similar issues started to get worse, I finally had my brother call him. Told him straight out “knock off the sh*t, your behavior is becoming bizarre.....you will be ending up in a NH”. Since it was my brother dropping this bomb, it didn’t come back in my face. It did force him back in his heels and to think about his behavior.
do you have some that can drive this point home?
She normally only listens to my older sister who lives out of state. My sister called her and told her she wouldn't be going out to eat or for rides any longer if she didn't change her clothes. My mother told her she didn't care and hung up in my sister's ear. We decided we will now just visit with her but not take her out unless she changes clothes. We aren't going to give in to what she wants.
He said they'd warn the guy (these were 19-21 yo young men!) and if he didn't get in the shower, they'd overpower him and throw him in clothes and all.
While I wouldn't suggest that for an elderly woman, the concept is the same. You don't let your kids run around unbathed and stinking for days on end? You just need to be firm and creative with our elders. I know for mother, taking a shower is akin to climbing a mountain. She just doesn't have the energy any more.