Hi all for the last few days mom does not want to eat much. She will eat breakfast and have some fruit and take her meds. After that she does not want anything at all no snack and wont eat lunch or dinner...(My mom has always been a good eater even at 95!) I have been through this before, but it just does something to me. I start to think maybe a bladder infection ( she wears depends and that bring up another issue getting her to change them.) I said we got two cases mom we can change them no problem and most of the time she will go for that. I cant get her to go see the doctor or even her day program the month of October she went every Wednesday her only day to go ....I was so happy that she wentand got of the house. We have a very small group of people that we have contact with and I think that has something to do with her moods she can be very mean at times and well ....There is some dementia there and she uses a walker and has a ostomy bag ...I had to learn how to clean and change this had hearing aids and will tune you out if she does not like what you are talking abput lol. I was only going to talk about her not eating but I just kept on typing so I guess I needed to vent. And I did not mention that I wear ALL OF THE HATS. And I am taking a online coure for medical coding and I am half way through the course...I study when she goes to bed. I welcome any commets/ suggestions that any one may have to say about this post. thanks much god bless and have a great evening.....Purplerain :-}
It's so difficult when we want to see our parents eat and they choose not to. My mother has good days and bad days for eating. I started tracking what she does like to eat and what she doesn't and I realized that food consistency had a lot to do with it. She likes food that doesn't take a lot of chewing (yogurt, mac and cheese, ground beef mixed with pasta, fish, etc.) My mother also loves the green drinks that I make for myself. Her doctor okayed it, and she gets the veggies that she doesn't necessarily like to eat (e.g. spinach, kale, carrots) and fruit, protein, etc. I also add some coconut water for electrolytes and also add a scoop of protein & fiber. It's not unusual to want our parents to hang around as long as they can. I applaud you for looking for ways to make your mom comfortable and ensure proper nutritional needs are met.
Age; body just doesn't want food, is beginning to shut down as part of the end of life process.
Mouth problems i.e. sores, tooth or gum problems that make eating uncomfortable.
Loss of smell, (most important sense for appetite). Sometimes spicing up food, if she doesn't have stomach problems, helps them better 'taste' the food.
Discomfort with foods of certain textures; hard to chew i.e. steak or pork chops, hard crusted breads, etc.
Illness i.e. bladder infection, sinus infestions, etc.
Stomach/gastrointestinal problems.
Arthritis in hands, wrists, elbows and or shoulder, (makes using a knife/fork/spoon to get food into mouth very painful and difficult)
So, as you can see, it's not easy to diagnose whe root cause of ones not eating.
The bottom line, however, is how much discomfort you are willing to put your mother through in order to asuage your own feelings of guilt. It's important to weigh your actions against her own comfort level. At 95, is it really worth it to put her through the aggrivation of seeing a doctor or a dentist and have them put her through a barage of uncomfortable, and often invasive procedures?
I agree with ferris 1, offer her nutricious food supplements i.e. Ensure, but be aware that, if given full strength, they can cause diarrhea; mix them with milk at a 50-50 ratio. Vegetable juice, (V-8 like but get the other brands without added sugar or sodium), or the vegetable/fruit combinations, and water them down using a sparkling water, i.e. Arrowhead or Calistoga, (lime, lemon or orange flavors work well). Also putting a small plate of 'finger' foods near her that she can nibble on at her leisure.
All of these are things that I had to deal with while caring for my own mother at her end of life and none of it is easy. I now work with seniors with Alzheimer's/dementia and have learned that there is no 'one size fits all' answer. I wish you all the best as you take on the honorable task of sharing in her end of life journey. She is, indeed, very fortunate, as are you.
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