I've tried everything form Ensure, to pedialite, She refuse to go get medical attention, She has lost so much weight.I'm afraid she is starving herself to death. Her sisters say I can be charged with Murder or something for just letting her lay there and die. Ive tried everything. I do not have power of attorney and she is good mind when anybody ask her qestions. Help Please
Far from neglecting your mother, you are giving her the best kind of loving care.
Unfortunately, her choices are still agonising for you - is there anyone around who can help you with that? x
When they are calling out for their "Momma" they can be dreaming but they are most likely hallucinating. My mother did this in September when she was hospitalized..... her medications were wrong and she was dehydrated. If you Mom does this when you leave the room, she may also be afraid to be alone. My father began sleeping in the living room because he was afraid to be in his bedroom, my mother now will sometimes make that comment as well.
I think you need to either take her in to see her doctor, call her doctor and explain everything that is going on or call a social worker or hospice to come and check on her. Do not just leave her in this condition.
you may face legal liability if you dont seek a professional opinion .
this is what i think i would do.
Looking for someone to help you through this is also a good idea, and further evidence to a professional that you are doing what you can. Meanwhile you can get support here. Please do come back and let us know how you are doing. Seeing a loved one make choices that are not in their own best interests is always very hard. You can lead a horse to water, but... ((((((((((((hugs))))))))).
Now that her sisters have been there to see her, and stayed such a short time for such a long trip, don't be surprised if they take some kind of action to obtain control of the situation legally and without informing you until you get notified by the court that there is a hearing scheduled. Long distance non-caregivers who gain guardianship for conservatorship will often make an arbitrary decision that patients are not being well cared for, take them out of their home and place them in a facility. It may be right or wrong, needed or not, but it often leaves the caregiver out in the cold with no place to live. I hope you have some plans in place for yourself about what you will do in this eventuality. I don't want to be negative or a wet blanket, I just don't want you to be in shock and unprepared should that come to pass.
Oh jimmy, we all know how hard this is on you as the person who provides the 24/7 maintenance. Watching a human being, especially a relative and more especially a child or parent, decline before your very eyes when you are helpless to change the outcome, is just one of the most stressful and horrific things that can happen. You have done the best you can and other than continuing to provide access to anything your mom WILL accept, you are pretty much powerless. Just I know that you can be proud of your behavior and that those of us who know what you're going through really appreciate you!
There are two problems: Getting her to eat, and Protecting yourself from charges of neglect.
Will she eat ice cream or fruit smoothies? Does she have a terminal disease? When was the last time a doctor saw her? There is medication that will increase her appetite. If she becomes unconscious, you can call 911 and have her taken to the hospital, where they can feed her.
If she is truly dying, and knows her time is near, her body may no longer want any food. It can be cruel to try to force a dying person to eat. If she is just depressed, and not yet near dying, she may need an antidepressant to make her want to live.
To protect yourself, make sure there are witnesses to your efforts to feed her and get her to the doctor.
This is a very sad and difficult situation. Give us more details, and we may have better advice.
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