My mother began having paranoia about a year ago. She thinks everyone is out to get her. She thought her work agency was canceling her hair appointments and intercepting her mail just to make her life miserable. She thinks people are plotting against her at social events and now she thinks her own children are out to get her. No matter what we say she won't believe us. She is fully functional living with my dad and doing day to day activities but her mind is a mess. It's making me and my siblings very sad and sometimes angry. What should I do if she refuses to go to a doctor or take meds? Could it be dementia? I'm even worried she might have a brain tumor. Any advice?
I told my mom she had to go to the doctor to make sure she was getting all the benefits from the government she was supposed to get. You have to pick a story that appeals to your mom's nature.
Paranoia can come from existing mental illness and dementia. There is medication to help it be less of a bother. But mom has to see a doc - and I suggest a geriatrician over a GP - to get other sources ruled out.
Have you or your dad suggested she see a medical doctor? There are a number of ways that people convince family members to see a doctor. Some say it's needed for health insurance, for vaccination updates or mold was found in the house and they have to be tested. Some say they have an appointment and want them to come for moral support. Basically, whatever works. Make sure you fill the doctor in on what she's doing. This could be mental, medical, infection or some reaction to medication. It's difficult to say.
If she refuses to go to the doctor, then it would be up to her husband or whoever she named as health care power of attorney to act on her behalf. If she still refuses, then your options may be limited to legal measures and asking for guardianship.
I notice you say she is fully functioning in the home. Why do you believe this? Is your father being forthright? I just find that suspicious with all the other behavior. He could be minimizing the situation. I would keep my eyes open for that possibility. Would he tell you if she wasn't functioning at home?
Aging combined with mental illness is no fun. Going through this the past couple of years has been bad. Mother moved from one MD to another and was very suspicions too. It was when she was hospitalized for trying to fly across the country alone aged 100 that the geriatrician and psychiatrist got the picture and got her to agree to visits from a community mental health team. I am in Canada so it works a little differently here. As her paranoia worsened they saw it and eventually she was hospitalized. It was h*ll on wheels for a while. Get professionals involved and get her evaluated. Good luck.