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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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At some point the person with Alzheimer's or dementia is too far gone to be reasoned with and all you can do is try to divert the conversation in another direction. Also, in their minds they may not even be asking about their most recent home, but about going back to their childhood home.
It's always hard when they demand something. It can feel a lot like bullying and makes life miserable if it happens too much. What I would do is say, "You are home," and maybe make up something about why another house is no longer available.
My mother will sometimes get in her demand mode in the wee hours of night. What I have to do then is to tell her to go back to bed. Sometimes it takes two or three times telling her and she might slam my door, but whatever she demands is not worth me getting out of bed. If she were asking to go home I would tell her to go back to bed and we'll talk about it in the morning.
I tell my grandma sometimes it's raining so she can't go home (her home doesn't really exist as she has lived with us for well over 30 years and then before that with my aunt and uncle so again wasn't really in some kind of place called home). I come up with all sorts of reasons and sometimes I simply say she is home. Sometimes I tell her it's too dark and I wouldn't want her to get hurt. Sometimes I tell her she's sick with a cold so I want to be able to watch her and make sure she's ok. When she had a broken finger I told her I wanted to help her with her pants since her finger hurt her. When the weather is bad, I tell her no one is leaving and everyone is in bed and she should get some sleep too as the weather is too bad to go outside. Sometimes I tell her she has no power at her house and luckily we have power. Sometimes like I said, I would just let her know she is home and we have just moved here and isn't it exciting that we have a new house to live in. Then I'd get her into bed and would treat her like a kid saying I understand this is a new home so sleeping by yourself is tough so I'll just sit here until you fall asleep. Normally within seconds she's sleeping so it worked. Now she sleeps through the night so I'm pretty lucky in that the discussion of going home is during the day not at night.
Just be creative, and find something that works. Sometimes what worked yesterday won't work today. Just find out what works and start from there.
Not much advice here, but I can commiserate with you! Dad yelled at us half the night last night, wanting to go home, saying he could drive himself home (he can't, he gets lost), or demanding that we drive him home. All you can do is say no, tell them you're taking care of them, and try to make them feel safe. Maybe make her some tea and sit with her? Distractions sometimes work, but not always. We just had to endure it until he got exhausted and went back to bed, not unlike a toddler.
evergreen11, those with memory issues are living in a different dimension. Instead of it being 2017, it is 1930's or whatever date back when they were a child living with their parents and siblings. It took me a while to understand when my Mom [who was in long-term-care] asked to go home, that she meant her childhood home. Mom was 98 and said she couldn't wait to see her sisters and her Mom.
As others above suggested, be creative with your answers. But keep the answer as short as possible [a few words, nothing more] as those with memory issues cannot process a lot of information.
My husbands grandmother woke up every morning with stories about the family she had visited the night before. She was on the train and stopped all over the country visiting family, she had a big one, for about 2 weeks before she passed. They were very vivid descriptions and a really beautiful thing. My husbands dad who was her main caretaker would listen and laugh to the stories of her nightly trip.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My mother will sometimes get in her demand mode in the wee hours of night. What I have to do then is to tell her to go back to bed. Sometimes it takes two or three times telling her and she might slam my door, but whatever she demands is not worth me getting out of bed. If she were asking to go home I would tell her to go back to bed and we'll talk about it in the morning.
It can be a lot like being a parent.
Just be creative, and find something that works. Sometimes what worked yesterday won't work today. Just find out what works and start from there.
With us it was always, "It's too late now, we'll take you tomorrow." It seemed to work.
As others above suggested, be creative with your answers. But keep the answer as short as possible [a few words, nothing more] as those with memory issues cannot process a lot of information.