My cousins spent 8 months convincing my mom and me that they would take over her guardianship and bring peace to the family after 2 years of complete chaos with 4 of my siblings. I live with her, cared for her for 2 years, 24 hours a day, never stole, abused or failed to get her medical treatment, confirmed by her doctors, court evaluator, APS, court nurse. Cousins took over after I was assaulted by a sister, resulting in broken bones.
Cousins lied to mom and me, they immediately separated us, hired a live in that is not only unqualified, but that my mom dislikes. She lets mom stay in bed all day. They wired house with video/audio. Several instances of siblings screaming at me, directly at MOM, nothing ever done. Mom needed pacemaker, while in hospital, guardians, along with one sister, retaliated getting false Order Of Protections against me, behind mom’s back. Attempting to evict. Guardians offered me cash in exchange for not seeing mom, I refused. Offered me lower rent if I agreed to only be with mom under video, I refused. They are now evicting me. They got rid of her car but failed to tell her, she refused to get rid of it. They are now threatening another sister with OOP if she speaks to or about me to mom, tries to visit mom. How can they do this! I have videos, audio tapes, emails. I’ve called in APS. I have zero to hide, my mother and I wanted to remain together, she has no idea what they’ve done.
I'm disabled. My 24 year old daughter has cancer for the second time. They’ve slandered me to every neighbor, cousin, friend. They have isolated me, I’m not over the assault and this man tried multiple times to get me to drop charges against sister who broke my ankle, my refusal has lead to this, as well as my emotionally unstable, greedy siblings. What can I do to save my mom, to see her again, to let her know I love her and didn’t abandon her?
You say the cousins have won guardianship due to "chaos" among 4 siblings by your own account. Is this court appointed guardianship? If so, then you do not have a lot of recourse. Fighting this would not only be enormously expensive, but it would also not get you far. Were you there during this court appointed guardianship hearing?
If the cousins have guardianship they will have a fiduciary responsibility to report to the court in the manner requested by that court. They will likely have POA to sell a home that belongs to your elder, funds to be used in her interest for her care. If that is so they will ask that you vacate the premises. If you do not do this they will likely file for eviction.
An order of protection starts out normally as "temporary". Is this the case with yours? If so, you will want to be represented by a lawyer when they refile for a more long OOP. Do not ignore any hearings as you do so at your own peril, and will lose any right of representation.
You say that there are four siblings and there has been "chaos." If this is the case I am relieved that cousins now have Court Appointed guardianship and that they are getting orders of protection against any and all who again bring chaos into the household and into the life of a helpless elder. I agree with camera monitoring visits for ALL in this case. Those who have nothing to fear and intend to act appropriately have nothing to fear of a loving visit videotaped.
I am sorry that this chaos has occurred, and I am sorry for your pain. But I am much MORE sorry for the elder who has seen siblings descend into what is sounding like allout warfare. We cannot know all sides in this apparently tortured ongoing situation. Your parent deserves perfect peace. My vote goes with any who can/or will attempt to provide exactly that. I will end by telling you, Vikky, that I am sorry for your pain, for truly I am.
As to letting your mother know you have not abandoned her, I would send notes and flowers for now, and try to make peace with those caring for her INCLUDING being taped on visits.
You say you are disabled. Can you tell us more about that as far as your own living situation. Perhaps your daughter who is suffering with Cancer and you could be a support to one another in a solid loving living together situation?
Court is 10/16. I wouldn’t dream of missing it. My fear is that the judge won’t ask for my evidence, view my tapes, read my emails and texts. My mom won’t be there, if she were going, she’d no doubt speak up as to the truth of the situation, but honestly, I’m torn about this, I want and need her there, but I fear the stress of it would cause another heart attack. I’ve tried to get a lawyer for 6 weeks, there’s none to he had right now, every agency is overwhelmed and my situation is apparently not the norm for Family court, where usually it’s partners and minors they deal with, making it more daunting. I will no doubt be assigned a lawyer on the 16th, i just would’ve preferred having time to go over things prior to that day because it’s unbearable not being able to be with my mother. I don’t know how people could be this cruel, she doesn’t deserve this at all.
My mom put the house in a living trust and has been adamant she wants to die here. I’m sure the took POA and have zero faith they’ll follow her wishes so yes, perhaps they’ll sell...on the other hand this is about the house (valued at close to 2 million) and her portfolio (1/5 million), so I have my doubts my greedy siblings would ever permit the sale, denying them of their previous inheritance.
If God forbid something goes wrong and this oop stays intact, I’d want to move. Seeing her the other day and not being able to say I love you tore me up, she looked so hurt and confused, but I couldn’t say anything, the camera was right on me. I can’t send notes or flowers, it’s a full stay away, but it’s a great suggestion. I know I have all the evidence I need to disprove what they’ve said and prove what i know, but I’ve been down this road before with the same siblings and the reality p, as you may know, is you don’t always get the chance to show your case, especially in Family Court.
So do you think if I filed an order to show cause I’d have a shot at the judge hearing my evidence against the guardians? I’d think that if the court can strip a person of their rights, they’d be diligent in ensuring that no form of abuse is taking place and denying her access to her children is abusive in my opinion. I forgot to mention, the guardian is now attempting to file against my oldest sister for speaking to me and telling my mom I love her. Please tell me there is hope, how can it be that I can no longer express or show my mom how much I love her? I know she wants to tell me the same, my heart really hurts.
Call the court that issued the order and they will explain what you need to do to make that happen.
Sometimes you get a lovely understanding person and they can get you an earlier court date.
Address each of these issues independently and in the order of importance.
I would also request a hearing with the guardian and the court so he can explain why he is doing what he is doing.
I would recommend hiring an attorney if you can. Simplifies a lot of the issues. Maybe call your state bar and get a list of attorneys who offer discount fees.