MY MIL is almost 85 years old and lived alone until this past month. We knew she was developing some dimentia but she ADAMANTLY REFUSED any in home care, and she even had her phone turned off so we bought a verizon home phone for her and went and installed and she ripped it out of the wall. Then last month she fell and the first responders had to break in to get to her and she was hospitalized for four days, no broken bones, but the doctor diagnosed her with vascular dimentia and suggested a nursing home. APS was called when the firemen had to break in .My husband is power of attorney and her only child.We want to move her closer to us so we can visit her often and watch out for her. We found her a wonderful personal care home, which is run by very caring people wihtin five minutes of our house at half what we were paying at the NH near where she lives. The day we were to transfer her she had a mild heart attack, and is now in a SNF in her town till she stabilizes medically to travel. Do we have to notify the APS worker there before we move her to our state? He wasn't extremely helpful other than convincing us to use the specific nursing home she ended up in for nearly 9 thousand a month.....Do we have to check it with anybody*other than Dr. to verify medical stability) before moving her from NM (where she resided) to TX where we live? My husband is an only child and has both MEDICAL and Fianancial power of Attny.
Is APS worker another term for Social-worker? If your Mother-in-law has a Social-worker, you should notify her, she may even help with ideas of how to make the change and trip easier from one state to another, for all of you.
You need to call her Health insurance now, since that change may require some weeks to complete, and should be in place before your Mother-in-Law enters TX. You will find that from now on it is best for your Husband to carry a copy of the PoA with him, as it needs to shown to each time you take her to an ER/Hospital/Dr.s appointment/Dentist ... you name it. Also if you are the person that does some of those trips with her, you may want to get PoA as well and carry a copy with you at all times, or no Nurse or Doctor will give you any information about her condition just diagnosed or treated..or what to do for her.
I wish you strength and patience, and the understanding to treat her as a patient first of all and not as a mother with whom you can argue anymore.
Do not let her remarks upset you, as it will decrease your effectiveness as a caretaker, which is exactly what you now are, even if she is in NSG-home.
I took care of my parents at my home [both passed at age 95] . I distanced myself mentally literally each time I had care chores with them in order to stay empathetic, instead of sympathetic. Whatever she says now, she cannot be held responsible for anymore... she has an illness of the brain-cells. May I also suggest that you put together a complete Emergency sheet, that will be very much appreciated by each new Healthcare-worker she will encounter and each of you keep that with your PoA-copy. This sheet of paper will also make your life easier when you just ask the receptionists or nurses to copy it for their use, so you can retain your copy at all times. It should contain her name, address, DoB, etc., relative's names + contact info, her health conditions , her medications, her Health-insurance Info , her Allergies, her communication problems - if any- and even her fears, if any. and her mobility problems if any...
If any Emergency arises, ambulance drivers absolutely love that piece of paper, as it saves so much time for them , when they are in a hurry to get a patient to the needed Healthcare facility, where it is copied and attached to her records for the attending Doc to get a fast and correct overview, that has no mistakes or copy-errors in it, and is legible, because it is typed, not handwritten by rushed personnel, and therefore legible. You may already know some or all of this info, so I wish you calm and successful continuance in your upcoming efforts, and wish a good recovery for your "MIL" !
I'm assuming the health insurance is under Medicare but if there's a supplemental policy (which is likely) and a Medicare D policy (also likely) - those are in a private/public partnership so you'll have to check into making a switch to companies licensed in Texas. Let Medicare and the supplemental companies know about the move and then transfer any of the partnership policies to something available in Texas. Many are licensed in several states but there's still paperwork to make the switch.
You seem to have found an excellent solution. Not that your MIL will be easy to handle with the move. She may become more confused than ever. You'll at least be able to keep tabs on her, so that will be good.
Please let us know how this all works out. We're here for you if you want to communicate or vent: )
Carol