I was wondering if this is "normal" to any one else. My mother stacks her used toilet paper (folded nicely) on the counter next to the toilet. She does not flush it down. This is relatively new behavior and I am stumped as to why she would do this? Anyone else dealing with an issue like this? We have tried talking to her (which seems like explaining something to a cat) and she says she doesn't know why she would do that. However, the next day it is piled up again. We deal with many other issues, but this one is one that is unsanitary and seems like one that needs to be addressed somehow. Any info would be greatly appreciated.
This must be a worry, though, anyway. Is anyone with her to pop in after each bathroom visit, check what's happened with the paper and - especially - guide her through hand washing?
Perhaps you could provide a trash can near to hand.
From talking to other people. It's age related since all these people are old. Back in their day, TP was a rare commodity. They had to conserve. Every sheet is sacred. When I mention it to physical therapist or doctors, they say it's common for older people to conserve TP like that. I don't think this is a new behavior for grandma. She's been doing this her whole life. It's that it was done in private before.
When my mother was still able to change her wet Depends, she would use baby wipes to cleanse her front, and then she'd stuff the used wipes in her walker basket instead of bagging them up with the used pants. When I asked her why, she said, "Well, there's nothing really wrong with them. It's not as though they have poop on them or anything. I can always use them again. They're so expensive!"
It was another manifestation of her Depression-era mentality (never throw anything away until it's completely used up or useless). I told her it was an unsanitary and unnecessary practice, but she refused to give it up, so I simply cleaned out her walker basket several times a day over her protestations. She's now gotten to the point where she can't change her own pants any more (I do it for her), so the problem no longer exists.
If your mom won't flush the TP or even use a wastebasket next to the toilet, you may just have to do Potty Patrol several times a day and dispose of it yourself (that is, if she lives with you and it's possible for you to do that). Oh, and mention this behavior change to her doctor on her next visit.
So, today we noticed she had a pile of toilet tissue on top of her underwear on the floor, which leads me to believe she may be leaking. It may be time to change her into "pullups." Anyone familiar with having a conversation about this kind of change? Do I even broach the subject or just put them in her drawer (where she keeps her underwear) and change them out every day or so? She is one of those that is very "private" about her bathroom.
That way she has the option of saying nothing and giving them a try, or of lobbing them at your head as you leave the room; but in either case you're not forcing her to admit to anything that might embarrass her.