She lost her license a few months ago because she hit a car in a restaurant parking lot & didn’t realize it. Customers called the police & they came by the house. I wasn’t there (she lives with me). I’ve discussed her eyesight, the size of her vehicle (large SUV), what would happen physically, medically, & financially if she hurt/killed someone - to no avail. She simply says, “I’m gonna do what I want.” Miraculously, she was able to pass her tests & got her license back, but she hits things (boxes, tables, etc) in the garage all the time. The entire family thinks she should stop driving, but no one is willing to give an ultimatum. Please help. What do I do? I don’t have POA.
Mom gave up driving pretty easily--but not before she had seriously dented all 4 fenders of her little car. At the end, she was seeing the road between the 'spokes' of the steering wheel. My last trip with her at the wheel had me shaking in my boots.
Luckily--after her hip replacement, she never regained the strength necessary to even push the gas pedal. Plus YB made her show him how she was going to get her walker in the car, get HER in the car and safely back out of the garage.
She couldn't even get the walker in the car. And she HAD to walk with that.
She did reluctantly release the keys and gave us no pushback.
36 years ago, we had just bought out first brand new car--a Chevy Astro van which was such a joy after having cars too small to comfortably fit our family.
On our FIRST longer trip in this van, we were approaching an intersection way out in the middle of nowhere. We could see an elderly man in a sedan sitting at the stop sign. My DH said "This guy is going to pull out in front of me!" and he did, with no looking left nor right. Luckily, the roads were wet, so we hit him HARD, 55 mph and he spun around and around and wound up in a ditch. He had a carload of elderly ladies with him. They could easily all been killed or at least seriously hurt. Our van was huge and heavy, but it still did considerable damage. My kids learned that day the importance of seatbelts!!!
Of course this old gent lost his license, we made sure of that--but what 'could have been' still haunts me to this day.
Driving is a PRIVILEGE. Even if you have to disable mom's car and hide the keys and drain the gas--please, please don't let her drive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will never forget the look on the one lady's face as we hit the car---pure terror.
POA is irrelevant.
Contact her doctor, who could test her for various abilities and stop her driving. Possibilities are cognitive issues, vision problems and hearing impairment. Do it before she kills someone.
You’ve already tried to deal with her rationally and she doesn’t understand. Looks like dementia to me.
Good luck.