My mother has dementia. I asked her why she peed in a cup, and she responded that she didn't want to bother going to the bathroom. She's very capable of going to the bathroom and wears depends with liners. She stops for a while after I talk sternly with her about it, but she starts up a month or two later. What is weird is that she looks for cups to pee in; she actually makes that effort. So frustrating. Any advice?
OK, so I can see this happening. Once. Looks like now it's a habit, and that's unfortunately our brain on dementia. I am quite amazed that she can do this without spilling; I didn't find it easy!
You tell us you have spoken to her about this? And that hasn't worked. So this is something set in her mind. Might a bedside commode in her room be the answer? It's the only one I have.
If this is end stage dementia there may be other and worse habits coming, and more dangerous ones, and at some point at end stage, when there is no reasoning and things become habitual, there is no other answer than several shifts of several people each watching over things. I am talking thinking of placement in future?
If talking and reminding and commodes don't work, and if there are other things (I would suspect?) this may be a quality of life issue for YOU.
I wish I had a better answer. I sure wish you the best of luck.
It's certainly worth a shot.
Sounds like redirecting her to the bathroom would be a start. If she is one who is stubborn, it may become a battle of the wills.
Remove the cups and tell her cups are for drinking and not peeing.
Does she have a home health aide? Getting her on a toilet schedule of every two hours may work. It's called bowel and bladder training.
BUT--your mom's brain is broken. She no longer always equates peeing with a toilet. You can dang your head on the wall for 10 hrs and you won't be able to change this behavior b/c that skill, for mom, is gone.
You can only adapt to her. Place a stack of those big red SOLO cups in the bathroom only, along with moist wipes. If that is the only place she can 'find' cups, hopefully you can re-direct her focus to use those, instead of any random cup she finds lying around.
In time, you may find that she gives up the cups and uses the Depends. Dementia is a new battle every day, isn't it?!