They said his ability to swallow was gone without having a swallow assessment. He had eaten a chicken dinner that day and eggs, no problems. He also drank normal fluids. His vital signs were all stable and did not require oxygen. They refused to feed him or give him fluids, put him on a high dose of morphine and sedation. He starved to death over 7 days. It was cruel to watch.
Hospice IS end of life care and nobody is accepted unless they're thought to have 6 months or less to live. Medicare would not agree to foot the bill otherwise. And if hospice "killed" their patients, they wouldn't get paid huge fees by Medicare so how would they stay in business?
I'm sorry you did not understand what you were signing up for with hospice services and comfort care for dad and his swallowing issues.
Food is not given during the active dying process because it extends the pain and suffering a patient experiences.
A human can live for much, much longer than 7 days w/o food. My father lived for 19 days with no food, for example, before his brain tumor killed him. My mother, 8 days before her advanced dementia and CHF claimed her life.
My condolences on the loss of your father.
It is known that many who cannot sustain the reality of a difficult loss will try to find someone or something to blame. Hospice is very often that entity. No one here on Forum will be surprised at your post, at the depth of your despair, nor of your misunderstandings of what hospice is, how and when and why it is ordered, and how it assists the dying.
Death is always dreadful to witness. I hope that your hospice kept your beloved father well medicated and out of pain as he passed.
Hospice will assist you by answering your questions and guiding you to grief counsel. Please avail yourself of them or of grief counseling of your choice so that you can soon honor your father by celebrating his life and by gratefulness for the wonder of the love you clearly shared.
I am, again, so very sorry for your loss. But as RN lifelong I had to stand witness as people literally screamed their way through the pearly gates begging me to kill them. I am thankful you didn't have to witness that for your poor father.
an RN for 20 years , in our hospice we admit for respite./ pain control . A lot of patients return home
I very much hope that new posters begin to fill in their profiles, and I am more and more tempted not to answer any who do not.
You NOW TELL US THAT A) you are an RN and that B) you do not live in the USA and that C) WHERE you live, people enter hospice for pain management and respite, not for end of live care. D)And that your father entered hospice with a necrotic toe.
So. You are an RN. If you wanted a swallow eval done and you were proxy for health care why did you not get a swallow eval done? If you were proxy and you father agreed to an NG tube why did you not get one placed for nutrition.
How old was your father?
How long had he been ill?
Why was surgery for removal of the necrotic toe not done. As an RN you would know that not removing this toe could lead to sepsis which can move like a wildfire to shut down all organs, causing shock and death. Can you tell us why this wasn't done.
Ultimately, I am not quite clear on what your question is for this Forum of Caregivers. Your father, sadly, has died. You, as an RN, will be quite clear what he died of and why, even if the medications of hospice hurried that death along by some moments, hours, days or even weeks. We cannot know the details of your case. It hardly matters if we DO know them. There is little we can do but offer you our condolences on the loss of your father. And we can refer you to Hospice which I hope in your own country offers, as it does here, access to grief counseling.
Seems your Hospice works differently than here in the US. Really hard to comment when the criteria is different.
If you join a website based in another country, you have to learn the terms. If you are indeed a RN (or whatever the local term is), you could /should have made your expectations to the local facility a lot clearer, and intervened a lot quicker.
The profile on AC should be filled out in the event that you are new to AC so that others know who you are, where you are, and who you are attempting to get care for. Good answers cannot otherwise be given.
I wasn't aware that Hospice outside of USA allows for admission for pain management only.
So your father could no longer eat because he was not RELIABLY able to swallow well. Was he offered and did he wish to accept tube feedings?
Some things are just not adding up here. Something is missing.
I'm wondering if when the doctors where talking to you, they said things that you were not willing to hear. That your brain was in denial and you just heard what your brain was able to except at the time. That really does happen.
When my Mil was on hospice my FIL was all excited when they took her off oxygen. He thought that ment she was getting better, When it ment the opposite.
Also I am wondering if there was dementia, if not, I'm wondering if your dad privately told the doctors, he was just done and pretty much begged for hospice without your knowledge.
I could be very wrong to both, but that is what my first instinct were.
🙏😔