My father met this women 3 years ago at the time he was just turning 92. She was 54. There has been 3 attempts calling elder care. Each time they did nothing to help this situation. One was just last week my father actually called twice himself on her but when D.C.F. arrived my father told them that he was mad but everything is OK now. From what I understand D.C.F. assured my father that he was NOT "incompetent" after a 30 minute visit??? Since when did they earn their P.H.D. and become psychiatrists?
Obviously there's some kind of confusion going on with my dad and D.C.F is not doing their job protecting the elderly! Now my father is blaming me again for something I didn't even do and has not been back to my home since. Of course this gold digger is telling him I was responsible for D.C.F. going to his house. And brainwashing him again.
D.C.F. needs to start doing their job correctly and not just get paid for sitting on their @sses closing cases without a thorough investigation! Just the age difference alone should send up some RED FLAGS! Like HELLO!!!!
Just last week my father came to my house told me that she tells everyone that's her house, calls him dirty names and cusses at him and it always has to do things her way. She has asked him to put her as P.O.A on the trust. Which is an Irrevocable trust that I'm trustee of.
Did I mention that this women does Not work and was employed twice in her entire life! My father now at 95 years is supporting her 19 and 21 year old daughters who call him dad
This women talked my father into getting a stalking charge on me last year so I couldn't see or know what's happening. The judge ordered me to stay away from him for 5 years.. Like wth went wrong there? Well you have to pay to play.. No attorney No win.. Was this judge Blind?
I guess it was because
1. I didn't have an attorney and 2. this stalking charge stated "I had a gun and threatening too kill them and they were in fear of their lives" elder abuse, stalking them etc. I lost my job over this court order. Almost a year later my father wanted to drop these charges, He can come see me but I'm still restricted from going to my fathers house.
My father believes everything that this women tells him no matter what anyone says, she will come up with some b.s. story and he always sides with her. She was caught by me 3 times she stole money from him but he defends her every time. She is a 2 time convicted felon, an has 2 D.U.I's, drug charges for meth, batteries with a deadly weapon, worthless checks, grand theft charges, elder abuse charge (that was dropped) 20 evictions form property domestic violence charges against others and so on..
Firstly I will say I think that you are very, very lucky that you are the Trustee of an Irrevocable Trust. Because were you not that, then I think this woman would have everything. And quickly. And easily.
Secondly, the most crucial thing you do NOT tell us is if your father has been tested and if he DOES have the multifarct dementia, do you have papers with this diagnosis? I would suggest, if he has been diagnosed as having serious dementia, by MDs, then he should have a court appointed guardian. You would need an elder law attorney to go to court for guardianship of the court over his financial affairs. And, trust me, at this point that will NOT be YOU. There is too much history for the Court to put you in charge of your father.
The accusations about this woman are hearsay I think? As far as her age, she is no spring chicken. And let us say she WERE 25. If a person is capable of making his own decisions there is no reason he cannot have a 25 year old girlfriend. (I would think the generation gap would be punishment enough for the crime, but there you are_).
I honestly think you need to lay low and stay away, stay out of this, be glad you can guard his Trust. Be glad that Trust is Irrevocable, or she would literally get it ALL at this point. The more trouble you make here, the more you stand to lose, and that seems to be what is happening slow step by step. You ARE losing.
Your father seems almost quite delighted enough to play you two one off against the other here.
I would stay out of their affairs. MORE, I would at this point pretend to be absolutely supportive, tell them you are leaving them to live their own lives as they wish, do come for Sunday dinner. Bring the kids. If your Dad doesn't have YOU to fight, then he may see HER for what she is and ask her to leave. Meanwhile, I think he is right about where he wants to be. He has chosen HER.
It is clear you are not going to get anywhere with DCF and the more belligerant you are, given you already have "stay away" orders against you, the worse will be the outcome.
Wishing you good luck. Trying to remember whatever that bible verse is about a a soft answer turneth away wrath? This atheist can't remember, but something about that rings really true. I think it may be your only chance here. Hope you update us.
We only know what we read—what we are told, and there is only the one side of the situation. Just saying.