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She has mis-used and called 911 in the past. But I couldn’t even talk to her on Mother’s Day. I sent her flowers and don’t know if she received. Shouldn’t they arrange for at least supervised dialing and access to a phone? She’s 92. I used to play with her kids and she was friends with my mom. She’s estranged from her kids and only has her Power of Attorney and me in her life. I can write her, but she has bad arthritis in her hands so she can’t write back. Feels like denial of her rights. I left message with a supervisor but I only spoke to the front desk. This place is very expensive high rise facility. Any suggestions?

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Well--you could always buy her an inexpensive cell phone and set it up for her and mail it to the NH and see if someone there would help her to use it.

I'd call ahead and see if their is perhaps one or two aides who would take the time to help her. Don't hold your breath--if one phone got lost, this could be a common thing.

At 92--she may find the cell phone too daunting. Doesn't she have a phone in her room? Did she have phone privileges revoked due to mis-use?

Not to make light of something that's obviously bothering you--but with the tighter restrictions, etc, these days, one patient who can't get a phone is not going to raise a lot of concern. You'll need to be her advocate.
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Debstersec, can you contact the PoA and see if she can get answers for you? Maybe they're only talking to "essential" people for their residents during the lockdown. As Midkid58 said, her not having a phone in the future is probably going to be the norm (they misuse it, lose it, forget how to use it). For a while my MIL was losing her handset (in LTC, she has short-term memory problems) so I arranged to call the phone at the nurse's station and they would take her down there to talk to us and she could call out whenever they could accommodate her. That may be an option but again, the virus quarantine and increased hygiene and medical burden has overwhelmed facilities everywhere. FYI last December we discovered that my MIL lost her memory of how to write. Could not sign the holiday card. Not even make an X. It shocked us. Your sweet friend may also have this problem so please temper your expectations...she is losing all her abilities. I hope you can get hold of her. Keep sending her cards, but don't lick the seal or stamp.
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I ended up taking my father's phone away because he no longer understood how it worked. He was around 91 at the time. He would not answer and then I would get calls from relatives asking where he was and telling me I needed to go and check on him. Did not appreciate that. He just didn't hear the phone ringing or couldn't get there in time. This is why the phone may be 'lost'.
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I think Deb means by "lost" the phone was confiscated by the facility because she was calling 911 too much. So buying her a new one is not on the table.

At this point nothing you can really do. I would send her a card telling her you are thinking of her. You now have those small video monitors but there is some installing to do there and in an AL thats up to the family to install. And is ur friend able to learn something new?
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