She only has a few days left, and for years she has groomed everyone, including her DPOA, to let her die at home. Now the DPOA (non-family member) has chosen to keep her in a hospital against her expressed (and very coherent) desire to die at home with family. This is very heartbreaking. Her DPOA isn't even in state anymore, yet is forcing the family to watch her waste away in a hospital bed without the dignity she insisted on. None of us want her to die. But her DPOA is making it worse for her and everyone in the family.
Also, the DPOA is taking advantage of most of the remaining family being mentally challenged just enough to not be taken seriously by outsiders. But there are three of us who are n not afflicted by such challenges.
If you think that you'd like to be in charge of arranging for grandma to die at home, approach the social work department at the hospital and tell them that you would like to arrange for emergency guardianship. Make sure this is what grandma really wants, because it's going to cost her thousands and thousands of dollars, for guardianship, medical transport and in home health services.
Make sure you arrange for a home health agency to have 24/7 aides at her home . You probably want to set up hospice services as well.
We set up in-home hospice care for her that was to start this coming Monday. My step-mother, who has been her caretaker for the past three years, is still here, and I am here. So she would have around the clock care for her duration.
The DPOA knows this, even had the hospital hospice social worker confirm that she'd be more comfortable at home, yet the DPOA still insists.
Also, the original hospital she went to overrode my grandmother's DNR in the first place. I'm thinking that should be cause to dismiss any documents they had on file concerning her death?
Grandma can't speak, but she communicates with head nods and eye rolls. Doesn't her coherency override a DPOA?
But that word "advantage" is exactly what puzzles me.
The DPOA knows your grandmother's wishes. The means to get her home and cared for are all in place. The hospital social worker is on board.
What possible advantage is there to the DPOA in going against what *everybody* else wants? What reason is s/he giving for refusing to okay the move home?
Jeanne makes an excellent point. Medical decision making is typically not included in a financial/legal DPOA. And the hospital should NOT be relying on, accepting decisions, discussing or providing HIPAA covered information to someone not authorized.
The person named as proxy in the DPOA should NOT be making medical decisions. Contact the hospital, go directly to the Administrator if you have to, and make it clear that decisions are being made without proper authority. Raise the HIPAA breach; that should get someone's attention very quickly.
But legitimate authority also addresses the other issue Jeanne raised. Has anyone in fact been appointed to handle medical decisions? You stated that the "the original hospital she went to overrode my grandmother's DNR in the first place". What happened in this situation, and did it contribute to the existing situation? Was the DNR integrated or combined into a health care proxy (Living Will, e.g.)?
You and the family will need to quickly mobilize to address this situation and get the DPOA proxy out of the picture. If you have to, on Monday start calling elder law attorneys in your area (I assume you're close to the hospital geographically?) and ask about immediate intervention. You'll need someone skilled in this area, with litigation or injunctive relief experience.
But contact the hospital Administrator today.
I'm still wondering what the DPOA's reasoning is.
the grandmother has made her wishes clear to all concerned
the hospital social worker is convinced
the family is united in wanting to take grandmother home
Only the distant DPOA is opposed, for reasons which have been not explained.
I do not know what information is missing from the account but evidently it is of overriding significance.
I hope the elderly lady's passing is peaceful, wherever it takes place.
Its a shame when DPOA isn’t concerned with quality of life for her person, but only sees $$$$ signs. (May not relate to this topic but I had to make this statement). I apologize.
It is called conversations with my son by terryann fisher and troy michaels.
There is no medical advice only a diary of our last three months together.
Looking back ... and even at the time ... i would never have allowed him to die in a facility.
It was the most fulfilling time in our life together and i am so grateful that we could have it.
I'd get a copy of the document to review with the attorney. They can review and advise you of the legal authority or lack thereof.
I too wonder why the POA cares where she passes. If family is willing to be there 24/7. If she can respond to questions than she is cognitive. Just because she can't talk doesn't mean she cannot make her own decisions. Can you call Medicare and tell them what is going on. The hospital is telling them something to keep her there.
Please contact an elder care attorney, pronto.
Almost all give a free initial 1 hour consultation.
If she can communicate coherently with eye blinks and indicates she wants to go home, the person with MPOA has not right to stop her. Nor does the hospital.
Also, she can blink to indicate she wants to remove her Medical POA or DPOA.