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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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This is a question that is probably best answered by a doctor. In itself it is probably fine that he eats all the time but is it causing other problems like constipation, nausea, vomiting, and so on? If not, it is probably fine but I would ask his doctor about it. The alternative is to refuse him food and that doesn’t sound good. Maybe limit the snacks to certain types of snacks and portions. Overall, eating too much is probably better than not enough. A lot of people with Alzheimer’s die because they lose the ability to eat.
I'm guessing that because of his Alzheimer's that he's forgetting that he's just eaten. I would perhaps just make sure he's eating somewhat of a healthier snack, and also make sure that he's chewing things properly as aspiration pneumonia is very common with folks with any of the dementias, when their brains forget to tell their throats to close when eating or drinking, thus allowing the food and drink to go into their lungs. Have you tried distracting him with something else when he asks for more food, like let's go for a walk outside or why don't you help me fold these towels, or let's go for a drive? Perhaps that will help some of the times. There is nothing easy about living with someone with any of the dementias, but know that you're doing a great job and the very best you can.
A few things happen. He no longer recognizes the signals his body sends that he is full so he will continue to eat. He forgets that he has eaten. Lock up food items that you do not want him to have. There are magnet locks for cabinet doors. There are child proof locks for refrigerators. And if you have a pantry a child proof cover on the doorknob or simple lock (hook and eye or a slide one placed up high where he can not see it) should keep him out. Get a small "dorm" refrigerator and put his foods that he can have in that. A few cups of yogurt, fruit, water, a few cans of juice. The concern may be if he is having problems chewing properly, swallowing fully he can choke. Aspiration pneumonia is a real concern. It may get to a point where foods need to be minced, or at least very soft. My Husband had problems with "slippery" foods peaches, oranges would slide down and once went to the trachea not down the esophagus. Luckily he got it up but it was a scary few seconds that seemed to last several minutes. After that no more slippery stuff unless it was pureed. (Pocketing food is also a concern, this is where food is retained in the mouth along the base of where the gums and cheek meet. Use a toothbrush or a mouth swab to get any retained food out)
Story of My 88yr old Snack Happy Dad with dementia and what we discovered.
He's fed 3 balanced home cooked meals, 2 snacks and a nutritional supplement drink every day. When he started eating snack food all day, in between meals, and at night, I wondered why? He was also hiding snacks in pants pockets, bath robe, under his pillow, in tissue boxes and so on. Again, why? I couldn't ask him since he doesn't remember if or when he ate, he doesn't remember who I am; he calls me the lady with answers or the boss. He doesn't remember where he lives, and can't distinguish the living room from his bedroom and so on. My dad was in the living room when my son and I were talking, trying to figure out/understand the snack food thing. My dad is listening but doesn't say anything. We couldn't figure it out so we drop the matter My dad struggles finding/using the words he wants (ex; screen is tv, tv is computer, computer is cell phone) so we have to really listen, without interrupting, to what he's saying Days after the talk, out of the blue my dad asks my son when is dinner? My son replies 7pm. Couple minutes later, same question and same answer given. Asks again a little while later then goes back to happily watching TV. A little bit later my dad just starts talking to my son telling him about serving in the Air Force, chores on the farm, a famous uncle who's a painter, entire family farm flooded, his mom being sick etc. In the middle of this my dad asks the dinner question again and again, my son replies 7pm. My dad continues down memory lane and a little bit later again asks the dinner question and gets the same answer. Then doesn't say anything just goes back to watching TV again. My son knows his grandfather told him all this for a reason...but why? As my son sat there trying to figure out what it all meant he remembered what I told him; when people with dementia are unable to tell you what they're feeling they will talk about a time from their past that they associate that feeling with. Once my son connected the past events to the present he figured out that my dad was feeling scared, worried and stress about where his next meal was coming from or if he'd get, if there'd be enough for everyone or would he starve. My dad listened as my son explained it and I could tell by the smile on his face my son had it right. Somehow someway the snack talk stayed with him long enough to give us the answer. To calm his fears; I reassured him that everything was ok, we had food and he wouldn't starve I placed a white magnetic dry erase board (daytime) just outside the kitchen and magnetic chalk board (nighttime) below that. I printed pictures of food, word stating the meal, the days of the week, the months and numbers. Laminated everything and applied magnetic strip to the backs of each one. Each day the food pic is changed to what is being made that day. My dad checks the board every morning and several times throughout the day. It worked so well that I've added daily activities too.
Snack food has been hidden away. After breakfast and lunch he's given snack bowl (fresh/dried fruit, veggies, crackers, cheese etc) 4 cookies (his favorite) or a brownie and a drink. Took a bit of work but now he used to it. He's basically eating the same amount of food but healthier and no empty calories.
To help calm fears and anxiety I bought him a stuffed animal that has several colors and different textures. When I gave it to him I said this is your safety buddy. He lets you know you're safe where you are and taken care of. This has helped a lot. At first we would give it to him if we noticed he seemed out of sorts now he gets it on his own. Just last night at bedtime he had it sitting next to his bed. He said now you sit there I know I'm safe. Sweetest moment ever.
Providing your husband doesn't have any weight or food related illnesses, I would let him snack if it makes him happy or gives him comfort. At this stage, that's really all we can do for our family members who are afflicted with dementia. You just have to balance what is the healthiest option for your husband with not causing him discomfort or distress.
I would try to mitigate the possible harm to his health by ensuring that there are high protein/vitamin snacks available and not making accessible those that are a known choking hazard. E.g., peanut butter and apple slices for dipping, rather than peanuts. If it's possible for you to have that level of control over his food choices, that is.
If it's feasible, I would buy a partitioned box and regularly fill it with different snacks - cubed cheese, dried fruit, little cheesy crackers, cocktail sausages, any other healthy(ish) favourites, etc. - so that your husband can snack without overly increasing his risk of type 2 diabetes (which could be a major problem if he just ate lots of refined sugars and carbohydrates). Having this prepared and easy to access might discourage him from looking for other types of snacks.
Although, if there is a particular favourite "bad" snack, it should also be available - in moderation. The big problem is that your husband may well forget that he has eaten it and demand more (like my mum with cigarettes).
Remember that there's nothing wrong with grazing, if the snacking ends up replacing proper meals. What's important is that your husband gets calories and nutrition - it doesn't matter how or when he gets them.
I've read some replies, here, warning of aspiration pneumonia if your husband is allowed to eat whatever he wants whenever he wants. This could definitely be a risk, but one that could occur at any time. My mum was recently severely ill, and hospitalised for a month, due to aspiration pneumonia. Yet, she wasn't eating anything - just drinking food replacement milkshakes and cups of tea. So, aspiration pneumonia can happen at any time, even when you are assisting your relative to eat and drink (as in my mum's case). Although, I think that the risk was increased by her having had a cough at the time.
I wish my mum would eat; she's slowly fading away. Whatever problems it creates, dementia is such a cruel disease. Wishing you and your husband all the best.
If you husband isn't overweight and isn't in danger of developing diabetes, I think allowing him to graze mostly healthy foods and some "guilty pleasure" foods is fine. Dementia brings enough problems without adding diabetes to it.
My 100-year old Aunt with advanced dementia (and few bottom teeth!) could still eat like a horse if it was a meal she really enjoyed. Her sister, my 104-yr old Aunt also enjoys a delicious meal. At her age and abilities, good food surrounded eaten with LOs is one of life's pleasures she still can participate in.
Is it that he forgets that he ate? You might get a little button green for I ate red for I didn't. You can offer more healthy snacks options like fruit or nuts, maybe cereal. Is he drinking enough water? He might enjoy peppermint or butterscotch candies or lollipops to feel full longer. He might only have hunger as a basic sensation left with his memory condition. If he likes chocolate M and Ms are a good choice or tootsie rolls.
There was a resident in the facility where my mom did rehab who ate all of his meals, plus snacks, who would ask for additional food on a daily basis.
He wasn’t overweight. I don’t even think that he was hungry. He would walk up to the reception desk and say, “I wasn’t served any dinner tonight.”
The receptionist would say, “You were served dinner tonight but you can have a turkey sandwich and a cookie if you want.” He would eat extra every night.
He simply forgot that he ate dinner. I never saw anyone visiting him. He would chat with the receptionist quite often. He was a pleasant guy. The receptionist was very patient with him.
It’s sad to see a person’s memory start to fade away.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Have you tried distracting him with something else when he asks for more food, like let's go for a walk outside or why don't you help me fold these towels, or let's go for a drive? Perhaps that will help some of the times.
There is nothing easy about living with someone with any of the dementias, but know that you're doing a great job and the very best you can.
He no longer recognizes the signals his body sends that he is full so he will continue to eat.
He forgets that he has eaten.
Lock up food items that you do not want him to have.
There are magnet locks for cabinet doors.
There are child proof locks for refrigerators.
And if you have a pantry a child proof cover on the doorknob or simple lock (hook and eye or a slide one placed up high where he can not see it) should keep him out.
Get a small "dorm" refrigerator and put his foods that he can have in that. A few cups of yogurt, fruit, water, a few cans of juice.
The concern may be if he is having problems chewing properly, swallowing fully he can choke. Aspiration pneumonia is a real concern.
It may get to a point where foods need to be minced, or at least very soft.
My Husband had problems with "slippery" foods peaches, oranges would slide down and once went to the trachea not down the esophagus. Luckily he got it up but it was a scary few seconds that seemed to last several minutes. After that no more slippery stuff unless it was pureed.
(Pocketing food is also a concern, this is where food is retained in the mouth along the base of where the gums and cheek meet. Use a toothbrush or a mouth swab to get any retained food out)
He's fed 3 balanced home cooked meals, 2 snacks and a nutritional supplement drink every day.
When he started eating snack food all day, in between meals, and at night, I wondered why?
He was also hiding snacks in pants pockets, bath robe, under his pillow, in tissue boxes and so on. Again, why?
I couldn't ask him since he doesn't remember if or when he ate, he doesn't remember who I am; he calls me the lady with answers or the boss. He doesn't remember where he lives, and can't distinguish the living room from his bedroom and so on.
My dad was in the living room when my son and I were talking, trying to figure out/understand the snack food thing. My dad is listening but doesn't say anything. We couldn't figure it out so we drop the matter
My dad struggles finding/using the words he wants (ex; screen is tv, tv is computer, computer is cell phone) so we have to really listen, without interrupting, to what he's saying
Days after the talk, out of the blue my dad asks my son when is dinner? My son replies 7pm. Couple minutes later, same question and same answer given. Asks again a little while later then goes back to happily watching TV. A little bit later my dad just starts talking to my son telling him about serving in the Air Force, chores on the farm, a famous uncle who's a painter, entire family farm flooded, his mom being sick etc. In the middle of this my dad asks the dinner question again and again, my son replies 7pm. My dad continues down memory lane and a little bit later again asks the dinner question and gets the same answer. Then doesn't say anything just goes back to watching TV again.
My son knows his grandfather told him all this for a reason...but why?
As my son sat there trying to figure out what it all meant he remembered what I told him; when people with dementia are unable to tell you what they're feeling they will talk about a time from their past that they associate that feeling with. Once my son connected the past events to the present he figured out that my dad was feeling scared, worried and stress about where his next meal was coming from or if he'd get, if there'd be enough for everyone or would he starve. My dad listened as my son explained it and I could tell by the smile on his face my son had it right. Somehow someway the snack talk stayed with him long enough to give us the answer.
To calm his fears;
I reassured him that everything was ok, we had food and he wouldn't starve
I placed a white magnetic dry erase board (daytime) just outside the kitchen and magnetic chalk board (nighttime) below that.
I printed pictures of food, word stating the meal, the days of the week, the months and numbers. Laminated everything and applied magnetic strip to the backs of each one. Each day the food pic is changed to what is being made that day. My dad checks the board every morning and several times throughout the day. It worked so well that I've added daily activities too.
Snack food has been hidden away. After breakfast and lunch he's given snack bowl (fresh/dried fruit, veggies, crackers, cheese etc) 4 cookies (his favorite) or a brownie and a drink.
Took a bit of work but now he used to it. He's basically eating the same amount of food but healthier and no empty calories.
To help calm fears and anxiety I bought him a stuffed animal that has several colors and different textures. When I gave it to him I said this is your safety buddy. He lets you know you're safe where you are and taken care of. This has helped a lot. At first we would give it to him if we noticed he seemed out of sorts now he gets it on his own. Just last night at bedtime he had it sitting next to his bed. He said now you sit there I know I'm safe. Sweetest moment ever.
I would try to mitigate the possible harm to his health by ensuring that there are high protein/vitamin snacks available and not making accessible those that are a known choking hazard. E.g., peanut butter and apple slices for dipping, rather than peanuts. If it's possible for you to have that level of control over his food choices, that is.
If it's feasible, I would buy a partitioned box and regularly fill it with different snacks - cubed cheese, dried fruit, little cheesy crackers, cocktail sausages, any other healthy(ish) favourites, etc. - so that your husband can snack without overly increasing his risk of type 2 diabetes (which could be a major problem if he just ate lots of refined sugars and carbohydrates). Having this prepared and easy to access might discourage him from looking for other types of snacks.
Although, if there is a particular favourite "bad" snack, it should also be available - in moderation. The big problem is that your husband may well forget that he has eaten it and demand more (like my mum with cigarettes).
Remember that there's nothing wrong with grazing, if the snacking ends up replacing proper meals. What's important is that your husband gets calories and nutrition - it doesn't matter how or when he gets them.
I've read some replies, here, warning of aspiration pneumonia if your husband is allowed to eat whatever he wants whenever he wants. This could definitely be a risk, but one that could occur at any time.
My mum was recently severely ill, and hospitalised for a month, due to aspiration pneumonia. Yet, she wasn't eating anything - just drinking food replacement milkshakes and cups of tea. So, aspiration pneumonia can happen at any time, even when you are assisting your relative to eat and drink (as in my mum's case). Although, I think that the risk was increased by her having had a cough at the time.
I wish my mum would eat; she's slowly fading away. Whatever problems it creates, dementia is such a cruel disease.
Wishing you and your husband all the best.
My 100-year old Aunt with advanced dementia (and few bottom teeth!) could still eat like a horse if it was a meal she really enjoyed. Her sister, my 104-yr old Aunt also enjoys a delicious meal. At her age and abilities, good food surrounded eaten with LOs is one of life's pleasures she still can participate in.
He wasn’t overweight. I don’t even think that he was hungry. He would walk up to the reception desk and say, “I wasn’t served any dinner tonight.”
The receptionist would say, “You were served dinner tonight but you can have a turkey sandwich and a cookie if you want.” He would eat extra every night.
He simply forgot that he ate dinner. I never saw anyone visiting him. He would chat with the receptionist quite often. He was a pleasant guy. The receptionist was very patient with him.
It’s sad to see a person’s memory start to fade away.